Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 27 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
785 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Reducing the number of nursings a day started becasue my dd wasn't really eating any solids. Because she will always nurse when offered I began offering solids first. My ped then told me to night wean which I didn't do but did try reducing night feedings as my dd was nursing quite a bit. I now know that was bad advice however she is now only nursing once a night because my dh is able to get her back to sleep pretty quickly when she wakes other times so I have realized that she was nursing to get back to sleep not because she was hungry.<br><br>
We just saw a nutritionist this week since my dd pretty much stopped gaining weight at 7 months. She said that night nursing would not cause her to eat fewer solids during the day(that's what I thought) however encouraged me to try feeding her solids first for every meal and snack and also give her BM in a cup first then nurse so she starts to understand eating/drinking and nursing when she is hungry or thirsty. This actually made sense to me now that she is a year old. My daughter has probably doubled her intake of solids since starting this and I really believe that she nurses alot for comfort not because she is hungry. I am okay comfort nursing but would also like to try to implement some other ways of comforting her (rocking, hugs, daddy rocking her..) She also will only nurse to sleep with me and I would like to see if I can start getting her to sleep other ways. What I have tried doing is nursing first but taking her off before she falls asleep(often she has been nursing for 10-30 minutes when I do this so I am pretty confident that if she was nursing for hunger she has gotten enough milk). When I do this she gets angry and screeches at me. I feel confused about what to do. Is she too young to be trying to do this? Is this just part of the process of helping be comforted by other things. A few times I have tried just rocking her while she cries, sometimes she stops after a minute or two but other times she cries and throws herself around the bed for a really long time. My dd then tells me to leave the room and usually she calms down fairly quickly with him. This just feels really wrong to me but I am also ready to not be her only source of food and comfort and am begining to resent APing.<br><br>
I posted this here instead of Bfing because I am sure that those mamas who ff or bfbm will have advice as well. Thanks
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,089 Posts
I remember going through this too and at about 13 mos. I decided to cut back on night nursings because my back was killing me, I wasn't getting enough sleep and I was irritable and yelling at DH and losing my temper with DS. When I knew DS just wanted to nurse for comfort at night I'd try laying him on my tummy and rubbing his back or just sitting up at night to hold him. It was really tough at first but I knew my mental health was at stake. Depending on your child's personality this may or may not work. One is still a little early for a lot of them to wean or cut back. DS is very independent and we were able to cut down to just a couple of nursings at night and by 15 mos. he was down to only nursing before bed and no longer getting up to nurse. Just shy of 18 mos he weaned himself completely. My friend who is a La Leche leader was amazed and told me it's a sign of his independent personality.<br><br>
One thing that helped is offering a cup of water (DS was never too crazy about bottles) and a couple of animal crackers or whatever snack was easy to offer when he'd wake up to nurse. If he acted hungry I'd go ahead and nurse him or/and let him have the snack. But generally he'd just cling to the food for comfort and not eat it. He quickly made the connection that he was just asking for comfort nursing and not for nutrition. I don't know if any of this will work for you but you might consider trying it. If you try something and your baby cries and cries then obviously that's not the right tactic but if she only cries for a bit you might keep at it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,494 Posts
IMO, one year is too young to be doing this. Optimally, a child will be able to recieve breastmilk on demand from their mother for a minimum of 2 yrs. Breastmilk is the perfect food for young humans, any solids added are "extra", not the other way around.<br><br>
Why is it important to you that she be comforted by other things right now? It doesn't sound like she's ready for that to happen. Typically, if you wait until the child is ready, it will just happen on it's own.<br><br>
Believe me, you don't have to wean/nightwean in order to teach a child how to comfort themselves. It will happen on it's own and it will not be necessary to listen to them cry. Even for a "little while".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,094 Posts
Although I personally think one is sort of young for weaning (night or otherwise), I understand that sometimes it can be necessary for the sake of your relationship to your child. That said, some ideas:<br>
With both of my children, but particularly with my son, they could accept other forms of comfort--they both love to be carried up and down our hall, for example--from their dad WAY before they would take it from me (I actually haven't really tried with my daughter yet, because she's just turned one herself). But I definitely remember with my son that my husband could rock him, or carry him around, or whatever, but if *I* were to try that, he'd scream. I suspect it's because he knew I was "holding out on him," but he didn't expect Dad to nurse him, so he was more open to receiving the comfort his dad could offer.<br>
Nursing to sleep at your daughter's age is pretty normal, I'd say--especially if that's what she's come to expect. If it were me, I'd probably let that be, particularly if you're cutting out other nursing sessions. When a child is allowed to self-wean over the course of several years, that good-night session is often among the last to go, which makes me think it's one they're pretty attached to. But, again, when my son started going to bed without nursing, it had to be my husband who put him down. Then, once he got used to that, I could put him to bed by laying down in his bed with him and sometimes singing to him. But it was almost like he had to "learn" how to go to sleep that way from my husband, and then he could do it with me, too. Now he can go to sleep with me, my husband, nursing, not-nursing, or even by himself (after getting "tucked in" by one of us). He's almost three.<br>
Just remember that nursing "just for comfort" is a perfectly good reason to nurse--that's largely the point. Don't get me wrong--the nutritional value is still there, but the emotional side of nursing is, in my opinion, *at least* equally important to the nutritional side.<br>
Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,680 Posts
When did you begin trying to reduce the number of breastfeeding sessions? Breastmilk is more complete nutrition than solid food. I wouldn't recommend reducing breastfeeding if your LO wasn't gaining weight. Breastfed babies often become thinner as soon as they start eating solids. We still nurse on demand and my DD just turned two. She became such a picky eater at about 16 months, her high human milk intake was the only reason I didn't worry about her diet.<br>
With the night nursing, 10 to 30 minutes may not be enough milk. My DD would scream too if I pulled her off before she was finished. It usually takes 20 minutes to an hour of nursing before DD is done, but then she sleeps for 6 to 8 hours before wanting to nurse again. If she falls asleep really fast and has a shorter than usual nursing session she will often want more milk about an hour later. I'd rather have one long session than more sessions. I usually unlatch her after she falls asleep and has stopped drinking. Sometimes she finishes nursing and rolls over on her own before falling asleep. That started at about 14 months.<br>
As for comfort nursing, knowing that you can cuddle, have milkies, and calm down when being a toddler becomes too frustrating is better than a tantrum. Not that we haven't been through a few meltdowns. I feel my DD uses comfort nursing to handle stress.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
14,239 Posts
BM will have more calaries and better kind than any food you can give her. If you want her to gain weight nurse more not less and dont worry about her eating to gain weight. I personally know a 2yo who's main sorce of food is still bm. He only eats maybe one meal a day and sometimes not even that. He is perfectly healthy and is perfectly normal on weight.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
785 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks mamas-I just need some reassurance to continue APing and trusting my instincts. I haven't ever cut out her good night nurse I doubt that will happen for quite some time. I will resume her night feedings though occasionally letting dad try to comfort her for a minute or two. I don't really have a problem with comfort nursing I just have been getting so many mixed messages and starting to doubt myself. Honestly I have also become burned out with nursing so I think I will continue to offer her bm in a cup for some feedings during the day so I can actually leave and have dad take over(she has never taken a bottle). I am offering her calorie and fat dense food before nursing which actually have the same if not more calories than BM and then offering her BM because she will nurse no matter what.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,466 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lilysmama1124</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9887806"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Is she too young to be trying to do this?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
probably so. i'm not really sure why you're worried about finding other ways to comfort her...do you just feel like she needs to learn this for her own good (because that's probably not the case), or are you actually unhappy with how much you are nursing and feeling very touched out?<br><br>
DD is only 7 months old, but i can't imagine that in 5 months from now we will be nursing much less--if any less--than we are now (which is still 10-15 times a day), and that's okay with me. she needs it, and only the night nursing bothers me a bit. the day nursing (every 2 hours or more) is completely fine.<br><br>
i think it's great that you have a reliable way to soothe your DD! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42,824 Posts
You've gotten dreadful advice from "professionals" Don't do it. At a year she should be getting a good majority of her nutrition from breastmilk. At that age MANY toddlers just eat tastes of solids. Breastmilk has more calories and nutrients than MOST solids that they will be eating at that age. Also, it's totally normal for breastfed kids to slow down in weight gain. My dd weighed the SAME from 9 months to 22 months.<br><br>
Nurse frequently- day and night. Offer solids and snacks and meals. Your child will eat what they need.<br><br>
She is FAR FAR too young to limit her nursing ANY. At all. Day or night.<br><br>
-Angela
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,622 Posts
Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? It's focused on sleep, of course... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> But a lot of the advice might apply to other situations. I don't see a thing wrong with decreasing nursing frequency at a year if that is what you and your baby are comfy doing. Remember that advice on a message board is from strangers who don't know you, and the best person to make decisions for you, is YOU.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,579 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9889487"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You've gotten dreadful advice from "professionals" Don't do it. At a year she should be getting a good majority of her nutrition from breastmilk. At that age MANY toddlers just eat tastes of solids. Breastmilk has more calories and nutrients than MOST solids that they will be eating at that age. Also, it's totally normal for breastfed kids to slow down in weight gain. My dd weighed the SAME from 9 months to 22 months.<br><br>
Nurse frequently- day and night. Offer solids and snacks and meals. Your child will eat what they need.<br><br>
She is FAR FAR too young to limit her nursing ANY. At all. Day or night.<br><br>
-Angela</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
This is absolutely terrible advice angela. You are going to make this poor mother feel awfulf. She resents nursing, her dd was not gaining weight, she is just trying to get support for the idea of doing what she is doing already. Plus, there is no evidence that what you are writing above is true. Even La Leche League supports the idea that weaning after introducing solids is ok. This mom is not wanting to wean but wanting to know it is ok to comfort nurse and still try to get her child to eat solids. Well it is ok. It is fine. Most cultures the world over introduce foods to children at this age and start to decrease nursings. Most cultures see solids as a way of moving away from nursing. It is aweosome that the OP still wants to nurse her child through toddlerhood but it is also perfectly ok for this child to be getting a major portion of her nutrition from solids and bm in a cup. She could even introduce other milks now if she wanted.<br><br>
There is no way a child over age one should be getting the majority of her nutrition from breastmilk. That is wrong advice. Where does anyone say that there is any research to support that? Even LLL does not say that!<br><br>
For what it is worth, lilysmama, I went through a similar situation as you and still nursed my child until she was 30 mos. I gradually weaned her and what you are doing is just that. It is fine, it is healthy, it is normal. I think what you are doing with your dh and your dd is fine. You are still doing AP and being a great mama. You do not have to nurse 24-7 at this age to be a good, attached mama.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,622 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>delphiniumpansy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9904162"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">This is absolutely terrible advice angela. You are going to make this poor mother feel awfulf. She resents nursing, her dd was not gaining weight, she is just trying to get support for the idea of doing what she is doing already. Plus, there is no evidence that what you are writing above is true. Even La Leche League supports the idea that weaning after introducing solids is ok. This mom is not wanting to wean but wanting to know it is ok to comfort nurse and still try to get her child to eat solids. Well it is ok. It is fine. Most cultures the world over introduce foods to children at this age and start to decrease nursings. Most cultures see solids as a way of moving away from nursing. It is aweosome that the OP still wants to nurse her child through toddlerhood but it is also perfectly ok for this child to be getting a major portion of her nutrition from solids and bm in a cup. She could even introduce other milks now if she wanted.<br><br>
There is no way a child over age one should be getting the majority of her nutrition from breastmilk. That is wrong advice. Where does anyone say that there is any research to support that? Even LLL does not say that!<br><br>
For what it is worth, lilysmama, I went through a similar situation as you and still nursed my child until she was 30 mos. I gradually weaned her and what you are doing is just that. It is fine, it is healthy, it is normal. I think what you are doing with your dh and your dd is fine. You are still doing AP and being a great mama. You do not have to nurse 24-7 at this age to be a good, attached mama.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,396 Posts
Short and sweet: there's nothing wrong in trying to comfort her by other means. Research has shown that vestibular stimulation works great that way, so picking her up, patting her back and gently rocking her up and down might do the trick.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,615 Posts
I wonder, did her weight gain issue begin when you introduced solids? She probably needs to nurse more, not less.<br><br>
Listen to your gut Mama. Read the baby, not the book, you know?<br><br>
Sorry you're getting so much conflicting advice, that's so frustrating and confusing.<br><br>
Some things that work with my DD include bear-hug style holding her with her head on my shoulder and walking, patting her back while rocking and singing to her, bouncing her, shhhhh ing her, singing, and simply saying to her "I know, baby. Mama knows. I know. I know. Mama knows. Mama knows," in a tender, low, calm voice. I think she finds it reassuring that I can understand her troubles even if she can't articulate them.<br><br>
My DD is 14.5 mo and at one year, she was just starting to walk, which was hard work, and getting lots of teeth, which is hard work, and figuring out words, which is hard work, etc. It's a lot going on in their little bodies and minds, and sometimes they just need more help finding the "off" switch to settle down and sleep.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42,824 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>delphiniumpansy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9904162"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">There is no way a child over age one should be getting the majority of her nutrition from breastmilk. That is wrong advice. Where does anyone say that there is any research to support that?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Kellymom has a chart. At 1 yr it says 75% of nutrition should come from breastmilk (from memory- I don't have time to look it up)<br><br>
It is not appropriate to limit nursings significantly before 2 yrs old.<br><br>
The child is clearly not ready to wean- she is showing that.<br><br>
-Angela
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,579 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9906289"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Kellymom has a chart. At 1 yr it says 75% of nutrition should come from breastmilk (from memory- I don't have time to look it up)<br><br>
It is not appropriate to limit nursings significantly before 2 yrs old.<br><br>
The child is clearly not ready to wean- she is showing that.<br><br>
-Angela</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Took me a few mins to find it.<br><br><a href="http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/solids-how.html" target="_blank">http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/so...olids-how.html</a><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Watch baby's cues - this is particularly easy if baby nurses beforehand and most/all of the solids are offered to baby to self-feed. Increase solids gradually if baby is interested. Aim for baby getting no more than 25% of her calories from solids by the age of 12 months (some babies eat less than this at 12 months and that's also normal).</td>
</tr></table></div>
Thus, what kellymom says is that between 9 and 12 mos, breastmilk should be at leat 75% of baby's food. But, after 12 mos....<br><br><br><a href="http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/toddler-foods.html" target="_blank">http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/so...ler-foods.html</a><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Your child can continue breastfeeding just as often during the second year, but offer solid foods a few times a day. <b>After 12 months, you can begin offering the solids BEFORE baby nurses, if you wish, instead of after.</b> Your milk is still an important part of baby's diet and will offer him many benefits (nutritionally, immunilogically and emotionally). There is not any particular "recommended number of times per day" that a toddler should be nursing. Some are only nursing once or twice a day, while others continue to enjoy lots of time at their mother's breast. As baby slowly moves into eating more solids, your milk will fill any nutritional gaps nicely. Once you do start to breastfeed less often, remember that you must make a greater effort to ensure that your child eats several meals of nutritious food each day.</td>
</tr></table></div>
So, as you can see, kellymom, as well as la leche league in the book the womanly art of breastfeeding, both say it is fine to be decreasing nursings if mother and baby want and begin to move towards feeding more and more solids. It does not say that breastmilk is supposed to be the major part of a toddler's diet, which is what you have implied.<br><br><br>
Also, I do not think it is normal for most toddlers to not gain weight for months at a time. I am sure savannah is healthy but for most toddlers, that lack of weight gain would not be a sign of good health.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42,824 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>delphiniumpansy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9906617"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">So, as you can see, kellymom, as well as la leche league in the book the womanly art of breastfeeding, both say it is fine to be decreasing nursings if mother and baby want and begin to move towards feeding more and more solids. It does not say that breastmilk is supposed to be the major part of a toddler's diet, which is what you have implied.<br><br><br>
Also, I do not think it is normal for most toddlers to not gain weight for months at a time. I am sure savannah is healthy but for most toddlers, that lack of weight gain would not be a sign of good health.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Actually, from the page you quoted:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">It is normal for baby to keep breastmilk as the primary part of his diet up until 18 months or even longer. An example of a nice gradual increase in solids would be 25% solids at 12 months, <b>50% solids at 18 months</b>, and 80% solids at 24 months.</td>
</tr></table></div>
bolding mine.<br><br>
And yes, it is a common growth pattern in breastfed babies to slow in weight gain SIGNIFICANTLY in the second year. Especially if they gain early.<br><br>
-Angela
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,936 Posts
My daughter is one month older than yours almost exactly. She has taken up solids of her own accord, with gusto, so I haven't had to face what you did. But she also nearly stopped gaining around 8 months, despite the fact that her calories have been 80 - 99% from breastmilk. She also grew to the height of a two-year-old during that time. The doctor said she was too thin and I did worry about this, but aside from tube-feeding her Crisco I don't know what I could do. There's always food and booby available, so much that she denies the boob and solids frequently.<br><br>
"BM will have more calaries and better kind than any food you can give her."<br><br>
That's not true. It might have better more digestible calories, but it does not have more calories than butter, olive oil, cheese, or other high-fat foods. It does have more calories than typical baby foods, but it is not the most calorific food on the planet. My daughter eats mainly foods that are more calorific, per gram, than breastmilk. (I am trying to get her to gain weight.) She poops them out digested, it seems. So this is not true.<br><br>
However I would ask the OP- is your child happy? Is she calm? Is she eating what she wants, when she wants? Does her tummy feel soft? If so, I think you are doing the right thing.<br><br>
Oh, I forgot your original question. Heh. Here's my alternative comforts when DD doesn't want to nurse:<br><br>
Lay down with her in the crook of my arm, with my shirt on, snuggling.<br>
Holding her like an infant, rock-a-by-baby style, rocking her.<br>
Holding her like you would an infant if you were to burp them, singing songs in a very low soothing voice, while patting her back.<br>
Sitting all cozy myself and just cuddling with her.<br>
Massaging her back while she leans on me, or while she lays on her tummy.<br>
Massaging her chest while she lays on my legs, which are streched out in front of me.<br>
Laying down with her tummy to tummy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,777 Posts
I've been where you are with a nutritionist telling me to push solids, and it does <b>not</b> work.<br><br>
Since I started focusing on more breastmilk and less solid foods DS's weight has improved dramatically. When he was getting snacks all day he looked very thin. Now that I only give solids at meal times and offer breastmilk first his cheeks have filled out and he has a cute little toddler potbelly.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,150 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I am okay comfort nursing but would also like to try to implement some other ways of comforting her (rocking, hugs, daddy rocking her..) She also will only nurse to sleep with me and I would like to see if I can start getting her to sleep other ways. What I have tried doing is nursing first but taking her off before she falls asleep(often she has been nursing for 10-30 minutes when I do this so I am pretty confident that if she was nursing for hunger she has gotten enough milk). When I do this she gets angry and screeches at me. I feel confused about what to do. Is she too young to be trying to do this? Is this just part of the process of helping be comforted by other things. A few times I have tried just rocking her while she cries, sometimes she stops after a minute or two but other times she cries and throws herself around the bed for a really long time. My dd then tells me to leave the room and usually she calms down fairly quickly with him. This just feels really wrong to me but I am also ready to not be her only source of food and comfort and am begining to resent APing.</td>
</tr></table></div>
It is ok to let daddy comfort. If you need a break have DH pitch in and help out. APing isn't about you being both parents. I think your weight gaining issue is seperate from self soothing. When DS is full of milk and I have something else I need/want to do I will hand him to DH who will do whatever. Sometimes that means him playing and sometimes that means being put to sleep. But if I try to do this and DS won't accept DH's help then I step in. I don't ever deny him nursing but after he has nursed sometimes I let DH just run with it. As far as being her only source of food and comfort goes she will out grow that but mommy is still usually the number one for a few more years. I know it is overwhelming when they are young. But she will learn to do these things without you in time.
 
1 - 20 of 27 Posts
Top