[Autumnschild]

My husband and I recently split up. I moved out and we are sharing custody of both our girls, ages 2 & 4. The girls just started FT daycare. I was a SAHM until this point.

My 4yo dd now refers to her dad and I by our first names. When he dropped her off at daycare yesterday, he asked for some love before he left. She told him, "No, that's okay Chris" and walked off. Today I dropped her off and she hugged and kissed me goodbye, but said "I love you Sheri", instead of "mom".

Is this common for her age or for kids going through difficult changes? It worries me because I feel she is trying to detach herself. I know she's having a hard time because she's told me several time that she doesn't want to live with either of us. She's upset with me for leaving the home she grew up in. She doesn't want to stay at my new house. It's unfamiliar. I think she feels like I've abandoned her, in a sense.

And I have. Not intentionally of course. I stayed as long as I could, for them. But clearly, I have left her in a strange new world. She started daycare, then I moved out. I have the girls on alternating nights. We're trying 50/50 custody, but this arrangement seems too hard. When they are with me, they want to go "home" and who can blame them?

I feel awful. I just want to make it okay.

 

[EStraiton]

I'm not going thru this but wanted to send you love.
It sounds like you are a very good mommy and your girls can feel that love. My parents divorced when I was young and it is not easy but it did not change my feelings for my mother one bit. We are still close and I love her deeply.

Good luck and hang in there - it will all fall into place.

xoxo

 

[Autumnschild]

Yesterday was a rough day for her. I was a 1/2 hour late for work because I had to get her ready for daycare kicking and screaming. She cried about having to take a bath, wardrobe, bumping her head mid-tantrum on the way out the door. When I picked her up that day, she wouldn't listen to her daycare providers about picking up her toys and when I took her out to the car, she hit me several times and pulled my hair. She won't talk about what is bothering her, just that she is angry and sad. Which I totally understand.

She woke up several times last night crying inconsolably. I slept with her, but when I tried to comfort her, she screamed and threw my arms off of her.

This is NOT normal behavior for her.