[Queen Kiya]

Hi,

We have a 2 year old DD who has a lot of trouble settling at night. We've been through the NCSS and had some sucess with it. It's taken 2 years, so it's no magic solution, and our DD had to be weaned completely before she would ever 'sleep through the night' (which is really just 5 hours in a row according to the NCSS). Now she wakes about 1-4 am and comes into bed to cuddle with us, but I can put her back in her own bed after she falls asleep and she'll sleep until morning. (I don't usually, cause I like to cuddle too!)

Anyway, we have just adjusted our daughter nighttime sleeping and moved her bedtime up and hour to an hour and a half as we found she was having a lot of meltdowns during the daytime and she was waking up later and later in the morning. We have a good routine, but it is flexible. We can't put our daughter to bed any earlier (althoughw e'd like to) because we're living in NZ and it's the end of the summer here so the sun doesn't go down and it's not dark until about 8:30pm.

So, if I put her to bed at 7:00 it takes her about and hour and a half (if I'm lucky) to fall asleep. If I put her to bed at 8:00, it still takes and hour. If I do 9, it could take 20 minutes, it could take an hour....no matter what she seems to be waking up at 8 am or earlier...so the earlier she goes to bed, the better. Now, she'll lay int he bed, but she can't settle.....and I get really frustrated trying to help her to seettle. She's a partial co-sleeper (she co-slept 100% until she was 12 months old) and has a matress of her own beside our bed, in our bedroom. We're fine with this....
She needs someone to be with her until she's drifting off to sleep, or is totally asleep, otherwise she'll cry and fuss and won't go to sleep. Usually it has to be me that lay with her in bed, otherwise she'll cry too. DH has tried, but it just makes things worse. Sometimes DH does the book reading and I come in for the cuddle time. This is usually the best solution. The only way to get DH to be able to do everything is if I am not available---then DD just seems to accept it.

Our DD is VERY energetic and needs active physical time every day, as well as quiet time and creative time...

Anyway, my question is, and I've asked this somewhere else before, but I think I need reminders and more suggestions: What can I do to help her settle? Supportive thoughts and suggestiosn are appreciated....

Thank you!

K

 

[TripMom]

What is your routine leading up to bedtime?

 

[noah's mom]

Blackout shades! We put them on the windows in our room (DS still cosleeps) last summer (here in MN it will often stay light until 9:30PM at the height of summer) and it helped bedtime 100%. DS has always needed it pitch black to sleep, even for naps (at the in-home daycare DS goes to his provider had to put a blanket over a window to help him nap).

Speaking of naps, what sort of nap schedule is she on? DS takes 1 nap a day, and I find if he sleeps past a certain time he invariably has a hard time going to bed that evening. So I have to be extra vigilant about making sure he gets his nap on time.

 

[Queen Kiya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripMom What is your routine leading up to bedtime?

Hmm, let me see. Right now, this is our routine 'ish'....we don't sway from it too much lately.

7:00-7:30pm ~ finish up things, turn lights down, do puzzles, read books, have nakey time, get jammies ready, etc.
7:30-8:00 ~ get jammies on, brush teeth, wash face, read books in bed.
8:00-8:15 ~ lights out, cuddle time, talk about the day, sing songs, back rubs, etc
8:15 onwards ~ quiet time, no talking, (sometimes singing lullabyes or I talk to her calmly helping her to relax), rubbing back or rocking, pretty much waiting for K to settle, stop fiddling, and lay quietly.

~During this time she usually rolls around a lot (she used to do this even when she was nursing) and she'll flip from one side to the other sometimes she'll get up onto my chest and rock herself for a bit or climb in and out of my arms. Eventually she'll stop moving, quiet, and fall asleep.

Some nights we go for a walk in the pram, since this helps her to calm and sometimes she'll fall asleep there and we'll transition her to the bed when we get home. (She takes her daytime naps in the pram, unless it's pouring rain out and then I struggle to get her to go to sleep in her bed in the blazing daylight!) She's fallen asleep as early as 8:15pm, if we've gone for a walk together, when we might have started walking at 7:30pm.

Tonight our routine started a little later and we didn't do everything in the order included here, but we did do them all, and she was asleep by 9:10pm. We only read one book in bed because we didn't get into the bed until 8:15pm, so the lights didn't go out until about 8:30pm. She was asleep by 9:00pm and I moved her onto her own bed by 9:10pm, so she was well asleep by that time. I have found that starting this routine earlier (in the past, we were not starting things until 8:00 or later) has made a bit of a difference.

She does co-sleep in our room, since this continues to bring her comfort and when she wakes in the middle of the night she now sneaks into bed beside me without waking us and cuddles up close.

I suppose, looking back at this that the time it takes her to settle is probably not out of hte norm for her, except that it's sometimes frustrating for me, personally, and I have more patience some nights over others to help her. I am thinking maybe tha tthe problem is not with my daughter, but with myself, and maybe I just need a break sometimes!? I dunno. *lol* I was just worried that I was doing something wrong, like letting her watch too much of her videos, or missing something in the equation here?

As another member suggested, I do think that the room being darker would help, since I can't get her to sleep during the daylight hours simply by laying beside her. She'll stay awake for an hour and a half or more if I try, so it's usually easier and good excercise for myself, to just take her for a walk. This way it might only take 20 mins and is much less frustrating. She'll sleep for about 2 hours (she used to only sleep for half hour stints, several times a day, so this is a big improvement) and when she takes a nap WILL affect when she goes to sleep at night. Lately she's been waking at about 7:30 to 8:00am and takes her nap from 12:00-2:00pm. I usually give her a meal before and after her nap, since she only eats small amounts.

To make the room darker means I have to post up a blind or a sheet, which I haven't done yet since we're renting this place and they told us not to hang things. But, in the wet season (winter) I am thinking that I will need to do it since it won't be so easy to get out for a walk to help her take her naps.

Oh, I admit that I miss the days when I could just nurse her to sleep, but I do like the fact that she sleeps for MUCH MUCH longer now---it's all about balance. Right?

Well, thanks for listening.....

K

NB: I am a bit 'concern' that she's hyperactive, and not just 'high energy', but now I'm comparing her to other children---and we "broke the mould" when K was born---so I shouldn't do that! *smiles*