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I didn't really know how to title this. This pregnancy has been a lot different than the last one. With ds, I only had morning sickness until about 9 weeks. After that it was basically smooth sailing until I started to get uncomfortable in my 3rd trimester. Seriously the only issue I ever had was if I got too hungry and then my stomach would be all messed up the rest of the day (dh used to pretty much tackle waiters for bread lol).<br><br>
This time around I am VERY hormonal. Almost to the extreme. Last night I broke down into racking sobs because I asked him how his brief went and he gave me a funny look and said I had just asked him that 10 mins ago. I sob uncontrollably immediately after dtd every single time. I'm this huge hormonal mess. One minute I'm happy, the next I am freaking out about something, then I'm crying, etc. It's awful. Dh says I'm completely unpredictable these days and I think he's right.<br><br>
I also still feel generally bad. I mean overall this is a very normal healthy pregnancy. But I had my morning sickness until 13 weeks (so an entire month longer than last time). I already get lots of heartburn and usually at night so I can't lay down, which them makes me cry of course. No matter what by the end of the day I feel awful and tired. I get home from work around 8 pm and I am usually jsut completely miserable.<br><br>
Dh is having a really hard time with all this and I can tell that he's pulling away so he doesn't have to deal. Last night when I was crying he didn't even come comfort me, he just sat here on the computer planning his vacation (I decided he needed something for himself so I am sending him on a vacation to FL to see his best friend and get some "me time."). He said later that I was just being hormonal and I don't think he realized that just because my crying might be from hormones it doesn't mean I'm not having those very real feelings and emotions. We talked about that. But it's just an example of how this pregnancy is moving us farther apart and not closer together.<br><br>
I told him how I'm trying to enjoy this pregnancy because I realize it could be my last and he couldn't understand how that would make me sad since I don't like being pregnant.<br><br>
I just don't know what to do. We don't have money for a sitter and don't have one we trust. Our anniversary is coming up on the 18th but he's in an exercise from the 14th - 19th so we can't do anything special that weekend, I probably won't even see him. My parents will be here the first week of March and my mom said we could go away for a night if we wanted. I think we might but I also think we need more than just one night, kwim? I think we're stuck in a rut too. Every night one of us is on the computer and the other is in the other room watching TV, or we both sit there watching TV together but of course we're not interacting. We used to play board games but I'm awesome at them and dh has never beaten me in 4 yrs at any game (I tried to lose sometimes I swear!) and he refuses to play anymore saying it's just not fun for him. I guess maybe some ideas on what we could do in the evenings together, at home, when ds is asleep would be nice.<br><br>
I know this has been really long. It's not like my marriage is falling apart from this or anything, not even close, but I would like to know what other couples are doing or if anyone has any ideas for me.
 

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Hey sweetie <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I know exactly how you are feeling. Especially with everything we are experiencing right now it's difficult for a man to really truly understand and not only that but to be sympathetic all the time. I have been married almost 9 yrs. and it seems you tend to fall into a routine and don't spend as much quality time together. I really start to notice this when I am pregnant or pms-ing. Lately I have been trying to spend more time just talking with him. I feel so much closer just talking with him and we really haven't been dtd that often. I prefer to just be next to him even if we are quiet. I don't know how to explain it.. (and I am partially distracted so I will probably come back to respond a little later) but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Something that helps with my dh is telling him exactly what I need. Sometimes that means I'm crying telling him, "I'm just a hormonal mess righ now, I don't know what's wrong. What I really need right now is just a hug and to take a bath." Sometimes he CAN'T give me what I need. Like he's just not in the mood to be lovey, even though I really want him to. My instinct at that moment is to beg and cry, but I find the more often I resist that urge, the better. Usually if I just give hime some space he's way more able to be supportive to me. I also tell him when he's done something that's been very wonderful- like, "I felt really loved when you cooked dinner for me tonight" or "took out the trash" or whatever, even really little things. I guess mostly I try hard to tell him very explicitly what helps me. Not like this always work, but it helps.
 

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First of all <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you...<br>
Second - I agree with the PP - honesty is the best - be as direct as you can about what you exactly need from your DH - (men don't pick up on hints or subtlety well <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) I know it's easier said than done - DH and I are both passive-aggressive and we have a hard time telling each other what we need and confronting any little issues that come up with us...<br>
I would definitely plan a night (or 2-3 nights if possible) when your parents are there so you two can get away together by yourselves and maybe re-connect....<br>
Hope you get things worked out soon...<br><br>
Also - one more thing to think about (and please don't take this the wrong way)<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: but... is there another reason (outside of pregnancy) why you are feeling so emotional? It might make sense to really look inside to what is going on with you and confront some feelings and emotions on your own - you mention you are sad because this might be your last pg - maybe confronting those feelings (or any others) will help you to not be quite as emotional on the outside...<br>
I know my midwife helped me deal with some fears and issues I was having last pg because she said I needed to not bring any emotional blockage to the birth - maybe you have some emotional blockage that you need to release and the pregnancy hormones are just compounding the emotions....<br>
Just a thought....<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 
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