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I wanted to brainstorm about what to do with a three and a half year old who is intentionally aggressive and sometimes destructively wild when jealous of the baby. I want to address the behavior at the root cause but also have a way to interrupt the acting out in the moment. With our child and unique situation, time outs do not work and in the past, just walking away and even going to another room has been the only help. But now I think he's ready for more conversation or ready to learn some more skills to communicate his needs. Any ideas?
 

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My approach would be to give him lots of positive attention as an immediate reaction to any kind or helpful deed that he does, no matter how small. Think deeply about why you value this and find your own words to express it. In reaction to his good deeds, start conversations on the importance of being kind and helpful. Pay particular attention to his being kind or helpful with the baby.
 

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I would not try conversation as an immediate reaction to his aggressive behavior. I would continue to walk away and take the baby with me. In some situations you might try to redirect him if that is appropriate, but if that does not work quickly, then fall back on the strategy of walking away.
 

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I second the positive attention suggestion. It's hard for a child to go from being the center of attention to having to share the stage. The only thing I would add is that your 3 year old might benefit from learning some calming/anger management strategies. My daughter, for example, has learned to count to 10 when she is upset. When she does this, rather than acting out, we are always sure to praise and reward her.
 
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