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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We had a birthday dinner last night. The birthday girl wanted everyone to meet at this new restaurant, which was in a very busy shopping district..

There was a total of 9 of us, and we all got there before her and her dh. We found out she didn't make reservations, and the wait for a table was 1 1/2 hrs. We called her and told her about the wait since she and her dh were still looking for parking..

Her dh was so livid that she didn't make reservations, that he decided he was going to stay in the car, while we went somewhere else to eat...

Yes, we were all annoyed that she didn't think to make reservations, but please, get over it.. I'm amazed how immature he was, and intentionally wrecked her birthday dinner, by pouting in the car.. (they've been married so far for almost 5mths)
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJamie View Post
Why should she have to make reservations for HER birthday dinner? He should have been the one to do that!
yes, my dh and I said this too.. Hey we're surprised he even got in the car, as there was baseball games on.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mighty-mama View Post
yes, my dh and I said this too.. Hey we're surprised he even got in the car, as there was baseball games on.
Very funny! Maybe he was embarassed and didn't want to have to face everyone becasue he knew that he should have stepped up and didn't? I remember one Xmas when my brother and sil were exchanging gifts...sil filled his stocking and he forgot to fill hers...someone else had always done it, yk? Just a thought? Or maybe he's an idiot?
 

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Oh, my. And did he think that would make HER look bad, somehow? For him to go pout in the car?

Sometimes people just don't think about how their behavior will make them look to others. I hope the rest of you still had fun at the dinner!
 

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This couple is definetly pre kids. Post children, no one would have the time or energy for such sillyness.

5 months - this isn't about reservations. This is about their unwritten "rules" in the marriage. Who is responsible for what, how the other will behave, what is the expected reaction, how much can he/she get away with, who is in charge....

If you are gutsy enough, I'd casually bring it up some time as a joke "hahahaha, remember when you sat in the car instead of making reservations?" Let him know who is the ass.
 

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OP - so great that you waited it out with her, hopefully it was a very special day for her! Regardless of her DH's thoughtlessness.

(mmm, healing from my last relationship as you all speak, sometimes we're so blinded by *love* eh?... thx)
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mighty-mama View Post
yes, my dh and I said this too.. Hey we're surprised he even got in the car, as there was baseball games on.
I was also thinking that he should have made the reservations.

Perhaps he had a small TV in the car, to watch the baseball games on, and so he had to make up some reason to stay there to watch them.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by AllisonR View Post
This couple is definetly pre kids. Post children, no one would have the time or energy for such sillyness.

5 months - this isn't about reservations. This is about their unwritten "rules" in the marriage. Who is responsible for what, how the other will behave, what is the expected reaction, how much can he/she get away with, who is in charge....

If you are gutsy enough, I'd casually bring it up some time as a joke "hahahaha, remember when you sat in the car instead of making reservations?" Let him know who is the ass.
I agree that this isn't about reservations. I disagree that post children, no one would have the time or energy for such silliness. A person as self-centered and immature as the one in the OP isn't terribly likely to be changed by having children. The man deliberately dumped his new wife for the night on her birthday, simply because he didn't like the arrangements she'd made (or not made). That goes way beyond any normal dynamics of early marriage and figuring out the "rules".
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I agree that this isn't about reservations. I disagree that post children, no one would have the time or energy for such silliness. A person as self-centered and immature as the one in the OP isn't terribly likely to be changed by having children. The man deliberately dumped his new wife for the night on her birthday, simply because he didn't like the arrangements she'd made (or not made). That goes way beyond any normal dynamics of early marriage and figuring out the "rules".
I'll have to stick my neck out here and say that having children can and does change a lot of immaturity in people...it did in me.
: Even my horrible self-centered-ness. Dh used to be EXTREMELY immature, not to that degree, but nearly so. We've worked on a lot of stuff and he has come lightyears since marrying me. I've seen complete a**hats turn around and make complete 180s.

However-I will give you the leeway to say that sometimes it doesn't change people and they are every bit as selfish and immature as they were prior to having children. Very sad and extremely irritating, but it does happen. The trouble is that you can't exacly pinoint who will change and who won't.
 

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what a jerk. You guys probably had more fun without him. She must have been mortified though.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Well she's actually dh's sister, so we've seen it all..

Their relationship is toxic.. I don't think abusive, but he's not a nice guy, and it's sadly changing her. She seems to be picking up on his attitude, and has really become a colder person.. I've been told by her best friend that the reason they got married was due to her "ultimatum".. And there are so many exa. of the problems in their relationship and it's all little stuff that adds up.. Like for instance, they had a destination wedding, and had a budget which included a small guest list. He took it upon himself to invite anyone he choose and when she told him, they couldn't afford it, he said "you wanted a big wedding".. And the kicker between the two, is they couldn't afford to have more people attend their wedding, so she asked her father to pay for them, (he doesn't have money), and she has a very large amount of $$ saved, but didn't want to use it... And her husband lived at home with his mother, rent free until he was 35, so he has no money to pay for his wedding (she apparently paid for it herself)?

And yes, I'm sure he was listening to the Yankee game in the car. He has always choosen sports over her. In fact, his life revolves around the season tickets he holds for two separate teams. He's also told her that he will only see her after work at night during the week, as his weekends are for himself. I don't understand why she puts up with it.. I know things can be very different behind closed doors, but I can't imagine it being all roses..

**and for the record, many of us hope they don't have children.
 
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