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I'll put a disclaimer right now saying I'm bitter at the moment and just need to get it off my chest somewhere where people understand. I hope that is here.
My DS is 8 months. When he was born me and ex lived together (had been living together for 1 month). The night Owen and I came home from the hospital his *dad* smoked a joint in the bathroom across from the nursery (we lived in a pretty small apartment). That was the beginning of the end. It went on like this (me taking Owen at 7 am to my mom's house to watch my little sister all day, coming home around 5 to the ass smoking marijuana). He never helped. Ever. A couple weeks after he was born I packed up Owen and left. I told ass if he wanted us back he needed to quit for good. He swore he did and, silly me, I came back. Before long I saw and smelled the *evidence* that he indeed had not quit. On the night after Thanksgiving ass told me I can't make him quit and he'll smoke pot whenever and wherever he wants to- including around our son. The next morning I woke up bright and early and started hauling stuff away. Within hours, and with the help of my dad and brother, Owen and I were completely out of there and living with my dad.
Months with by with no/minimal contact (or child support). I let him see Owen everytime he asked, which was very rare. Fast forward to a couple months ago when ass moves in with his mom. Being the controlling b*tch she is she managed to convince ass to go after visitation so SHE could have it (note- ass doesn't want visitation, he's doing it to please his mom). 2 weeks ago we ended up in court. I had an excellant lawyer but I still *lost* in a way. Ass did end up getting visitation BUT the judge agreed to most of my terms- he has Owen for 3 days a week, 1 hour a day, for 3 weeks. If he can do this it moves to 3 days a week, 2 hours a day, for 3 weeks. If that's done it moves to 2 days a week, 4 hours a day, for 6 weeks. Provided he does that it moves to 1 day and 1 overnight a week. He CAN NOT take Owen to his house- he must remain in a public spot and he has to let me know where he is. (This was all due to Owen's breathing problems and the fact that there are 5 smokers living in ass's parents house). He can't do drugs or alcohol for 8 hours before visits (riiiiight..... drugs are illegal anyway and he's not 21 so he shouldn't be doing either. Period.). Before he gets those overnight visits *I* get to do a home inspection with my lawyer. If I don't agree with the living conditions I can go back to the Judge and tell him so.
So anyway, Friday ass had a visit- with me there (my lawyer suggested it since Owen and ass haven't seen each other for almost 2 weeks and Owen doesn't like ass). The visit was to be 1 hour long and I sat at the way other end of the park so as not to interferre. 43 minutes after visit starts ass hands Owen over to me and leaves. Sunday he has visit again. Only this time he tricks me into bringing Owen to the park again by saying he has a carseat he wishes for me to install. I agree. When I get there there is no car seat. He tricked me so that he could still get the visit (no car seat equals no visit since it's obviously illegal for an infant to travel without one). Owen screames for most of the visit and ass just leaves him laying on the ground. Doesn't pick him up, comfort him, nothing. Finally ass's mom (who is at every visit and is the main person who has Owen during these visits) gave Owen back to me to calm him down (there's only so many screams of *mama* one can take. Apparently ass didn't even care that Owen was screaming so much he was *thisclose* to puking). Ass eventually leaves but not before making Owen scream again.
Fast forward to tomrrow- Ass has Owen alone tomorrow for an hour. Ass knows nothing about parenting. Ass can't even feed Owen (breastfed and doesn't take bottles or sippies). Ass doesn't give a d*mn about Owen. Yup, this visit will be going well. Ass called about 1/2 hour ago asking to change his visitation because his mom won't be able to make it tomorrow. I refused as Ass is the one who has visits- not his mother. If he can't handle Owen for an hour (he can't) then he shouldn't have him. BTW, I will be checking up on Owen and taking a camera to get proof Ass isn't doing a good job. I will be bringing this back to court once I have enough *proof*.
But the thing that pisses me off the most is that all my hard work to make sure my precious boy knows he's loved and will always be well cared for and protected is being thrown out the window while the ass sits around torturing him.
Stephanie
:
My DS is 8 months. When he was born me and ex lived together (had been living together for 1 month). The night Owen and I came home from the hospital his *dad* smoked a joint in the bathroom across from the nursery (we lived in a pretty small apartment). That was the beginning of the end. It went on like this (me taking Owen at 7 am to my mom's house to watch my little sister all day, coming home around 5 to the ass smoking marijuana). He never helped. Ever. A couple weeks after he was born I packed up Owen and left. I told ass if he wanted us back he needed to quit for good. He swore he did and, silly me, I came back. Before long I saw and smelled the *evidence* that he indeed had not quit. On the night after Thanksgiving ass told me I can't make him quit and he'll smoke pot whenever and wherever he wants to- including around our son. The next morning I woke up bright and early and started hauling stuff away. Within hours, and with the help of my dad and brother, Owen and I were completely out of there and living with my dad.
Months with by with no/minimal contact (or child support). I let him see Owen everytime he asked, which was very rare. Fast forward to a couple months ago when ass moves in with his mom. Being the controlling b*tch she is she managed to convince ass to go after visitation so SHE could have it (note- ass doesn't want visitation, he's doing it to please his mom). 2 weeks ago we ended up in court. I had an excellant lawyer but I still *lost* in a way. Ass did end up getting visitation BUT the judge agreed to most of my terms- he has Owen for 3 days a week, 1 hour a day, for 3 weeks. If he can do this it moves to 3 days a week, 2 hours a day, for 3 weeks. If that's done it moves to 2 days a week, 4 hours a day, for 6 weeks. Provided he does that it moves to 1 day and 1 overnight a week. He CAN NOT take Owen to his house- he must remain in a public spot and he has to let me know where he is. (This was all due to Owen's breathing problems and the fact that there are 5 smokers living in ass's parents house). He can't do drugs or alcohol for 8 hours before visits (riiiiight..... drugs are illegal anyway and he's not 21 so he shouldn't be doing either. Period.). Before he gets those overnight visits *I* get to do a home inspection with my lawyer. If I don't agree with the living conditions I can go back to the Judge and tell him so.
So anyway, Friday ass had a visit- with me there (my lawyer suggested it since Owen and ass haven't seen each other for almost 2 weeks and Owen doesn't like ass). The visit was to be 1 hour long and I sat at the way other end of the park so as not to interferre. 43 minutes after visit starts ass hands Owen over to me and leaves. Sunday he has visit again. Only this time he tricks me into bringing Owen to the park again by saying he has a carseat he wishes for me to install. I agree. When I get there there is no car seat. He tricked me so that he could still get the visit (no car seat equals no visit since it's obviously illegal for an infant to travel without one). Owen screames for most of the visit and ass just leaves him laying on the ground. Doesn't pick him up, comfort him, nothing. Finally ass's mom (who is at every visit and is the main person who has Owen during these visits) gave Owen back to me to calm him down (there's only so many screams of *mama* one can take. Apparently ass didn't even care that Owen was screaming so much he was *thisclose* to puking). Ass eventually leaves but not before making Owen scream again.
Fast forward to tomrrow- Ass has Owen alone tomorrow for an hour. Ass knows nothing about parenting. Ass can't even feed Owen (breastfed and doesn't take bottles or sippies). Ass doesn't give a d*mn about Owen. Yup, this visit will be going well. Ass called about 1/2 hour ago asking to change his visitation because his mom won't be able to make it tomorrow. I refused as Ass is the one who has visits- not his mother. If he can't handle Owen for an hour (he can't) then he shouldn't have him. BTW, I will be checking up on Owen and taking a camera to get proof Ass isn't doing a good job. I will be bringing this back to court once I have enough *proof*.
But the thing that pisses me off the most is that all my hard work to make sure my precious boy knows he's loved and will always be well cared for and protected is being thrown out the window while the ass sits around torturing him.
Stephanie
