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After 15 months of reflection on the birth of our son, here is our account.<br><br>
New Years past, and still no baby. We stayed strong, and trusted that our baby would be born at home in God's timing. I continued to do EVERYTHING that i knew was the right thing to do. I ate healthy foods, walked, pelvic rocks, took my herbs and vitamins.<br><br>
January 15th arrived. Still no baby. It was a full moon (and even though this isn't exactly my thing...to say the least...) i went outside and walked in the moonlight thinking "surely i will go into labor" (i even danced in the moonlight- but noone knows that...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> ) I was desperate for my baby.<br><br>
I cried to my husband saying " this baby is never coming out. It is so comfortable in my cozy little nest that it has decided NEVER to come out, and i will be pregnant FOREVER." Then i began about going to be induced; i just couldnt take it anymore. My husband looked at my with compassion and said " Vic, how do you know that the baby doesnt have a reason for being inside you for 10 months? How do we know that God doesnt know something about this that we dont? What if the baby has a heart problem or something, and needs to gain weight before it is born?" I resigned to this line of thinking and allowed myself to calm down and wait on our baby.<br><br>
On the 18th I called my sister. (forgive me ligmom- this part with you there is a little fuzzy-) I was having contraction- FOR REAL This time.<br><br>
My sister encouraged me to walk- to breath- to do everything we knew was what you are suppose to do when you are in labor. My sister called my husband.<br><br>
Things subsided for a while and we tried to rest. Around 9:00 that night i started having contractions- i though-no big deal.<br>
I called my sister back sometime i think around 2 or 3 to ask if she thought i was in labor- and i was crying because i didnt want to wake up my husband for nothing. My sister convinced my to call my midwife at this point. My midwife told me to do everything i knew that was right to be doing, so i did. She arrived in about in hour. I labored a little longer in the tub. I asked her to check me and when she did she said " you are 7 cm dialated. You could call your sister and tell her to come see her little neice or nephew to be born (as we had discussed before- i wanted my 3 sisters with me) so my midwife woke my husband, and we called my sisters.<br><br>
I continued to do everything i knew that was good and right.<br><br>
As the next day arrived, labor slowed. I was laboring hard still, and felt free and prefect at my own home. I went outside some- when i felt that i wanted to have clothes on, and i think my neighbors were a little worried about me.<br><br>
labor continued into the night of the 19th. Still i was working hard to help my baby out gently and with little intervention-exactly what i felt to be the right way.<br><br>
I was complete and felt a slight urge to push. I began doing small pushes while my midwife was sleeping. Her assistant midwife said she felt the baby's head coming down- i was so ready to meet my little one. Someone woke my midwife. She came in the bathroom and said to me "you are just doing the little pushes- you are still a long way out."<br><br>
My attitude changed- i felt like i wasnt even close- around this time, the baby's head turned to the side and he was stuck. I labored for a good 4 or 5 hours after this, and my body began to regress -9 cm,8cm...we prayed and decided to go to the hospital.<br><br>
we went to the nearest hospital. My husband and i were dissappointed because we felt like there was no way that we could give a gentle bith at a hospital. I felt like i failed my family- and everyone else- and especially my baby.<br><br>
I walked into the hospital 8 cm diallated- drinking a cup of water.<br><br>
They asked me "are you in labor" and i said "yes, i am 8cm and i was 10cm, but i have been in labor for 30 hours"<br><br>
They didnt believe me so i let them check me. (we live in a place where hombirth is no really acceptable)<br><br>
My midwife said " I am her midwife."<br><br>
At this point, my water was still intact, and labor just was not progressing.<br><br>
My water was broken (which i allowed at this point becuase i was exhausted and thought perhaps it would kick my labor into high gear)<br><br>
Labor became way more intense and i tried to sleep during contraction because i was exhausted. I was on an IV and still eating and drinking. doing everything i could at this point to do what was right. I was getting in the hot shower, i was walking around, squatting. I was back to 10 cm and i pushed for 3 hours. After this, i received an epidural because the baby was not coming out.<br><br>
I needed to rest.<br><br>
I laid there in the bed- not feeling half of my body- saddened that my baby was going to enter the world in such a manner as this.<br><br>
My husband and i mourned. The doctor had me push again, and still nothing.<br><br>
Friday the 20th we schedule a cesarian section.<br><br>
I kept thinking "this is NOT the RIGHT WAY" - felt like my child would be damage forever.<br><br>
We asked for at least noone to tell us if the baby was a boy or a girl. We need a good surprise after all of this hard work and struggling. He was born from a cesarian incision at 11:25pm (some people in the room said 11:23, but my husband said 11:25 so that is what we say) I said to my husband - what do we have- he said- it is a boy! He is 9lbs 1 oz and is 21 inches long! I touched his face and kissed him sweetly and i think i appologized to him. They took him to the nursery. and kept him for a day and a half.<br><br>
we were not ALLOWED to hold our baby. They gave him an IV and an oxygen tent. I pitched a fit. My husband stayed with the baby the entire time as we disscussed we would. My husband repeatedly wispered to him "me and mama love you so much- your gonna be okay- thank God for you my special little boy."<br><br>
We cried and cried, and felt that why hasnt everything gone right since we did EVERYTHING RIGHT!!!<br><br>
My son was diagnosed with a heart condition called Tetralogy of Fallot.<br>
We flew to a hospital two days after his birth and there we build or breastfeeding relationship and fell in love with eachother.<br><br>
This past year, we took my son to have open heart surgery when he was 5 1/2 months old. He has recovered well and is the sweetest child i have every known.<br><br><br>
My husband and i have spent this past year wondering what we have done wrong- have we forever messed up our family? Have we forever made Bailey and angry person who will suffer from having been born via c/s and the shortly thereafter undergoing openheart surgery?<br><br>
The answer is no. We have a beautiful- wonderful- unconventionally healthy baby boy who is smart, lovely, charming, and almost perfect!<br><br>
Over this year I have come to realize that the words "doing the right things" are more gray than they are black and white.<br><br>
i used to think one way is right- in every area of my life. As I grow daily into my role as a mother and a wife, i realize that we will face things that there is not one but many or no answers for. We will have to trust that God is supreme above all else. We will no longer be able to sit in the seat of jugement, because every experience is different. I cant possible say what i would do in any situation, because that is being black and white, and with my son's birth he brought with him a lot of beautiful colors that have stained our lives forever. Here are the hard facts as our family know them:<br><br>
God is supreme<br>
every experience is to help us grow and learn<br>
and nothing is set in stone...<br><br>
thank you for letting me share my experience with you. I hope encouragement and peace is found in it, because that is exactly what we've found on the other side of the trials.
 

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What a wonderful story. Your absolutly right. You guys "Did the Right Things" you actions spoke that you had your families best intentions in mind. You did a fantastic job.
 

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I can't give you all the words for how I feel about your journey into motherhood. You amaze me with your strength and your constant desire to do what is best for your child--you are so earnest in your search--I love that about you. Yes, you have had struggles, but you have been so loving and gentle with Bay...he is as blessed as he is a blessing<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
I love you...
 
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