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Discussion Starter #1
Because of my constant criticism, hate, bitching and whining i have driven him to want to kill himself.. I don't even love him..<br>
All of those are his words.. not mine<br>
He needs to go to the hospital..I can tell<br>
I told him he needs to and that he should<br>
He's not okay<br>
He's not medicated for his bipolar right now<br>
He's bringing up suicide to much..<br>
I thought maybe i wouldn't be able to tell when he needed help<br>
but i know he does now..<br>
he's obviously in the right state of mind<br>
I told him he had to leave several times.. for me and the babies.. the final time i opened the door for him and as he was walking away i told him i loved him and he yelled back it didn't matter to him.. he sent me shortly after saying if i don't come to his parents house by tomorrow morning he will assume he doesn't mean enough to me and he will end IT shortly after.. I am assuming he means his life because that is all he has talked about tonight.. he said if i come he will know i do love him and he will keep going.. his ending is.. "goodbye it's up to you now take me serious tonight or it ends tomorrow" and then i called him and he informed me that he wasn't going to stop driving at all until he got to his parents house.. not even for stop signs or red lights. he keeps letting me know that all of this is my fault.<br>
I don't know what i should do.. I want him to get online so we can talk through this.. and maybe he can calm down and we can just go to the doctor tomorrow. Maybe i should call someone tonight? Should i go to his parents house to make sure he is okay? His cell phone is dead.. If i call his parents house he will just freak out on them and they will call the police and either go to jail depending on how badly he reacts or goes to the hospital.. I feel like it's my responsibility to take care of him in some way.. I love him and this is hurting me so much.. i have no idea what i should do.
 

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I don't have any advise. But wanted to give you hugs mama! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Sounds like you need to talk to someone and get him committed to the hospital. I would phone his parents.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>JustVanessa</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10268025"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sounds like you need to talk to someone and get him committed to the hospital. I would phone his parents.</div>
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I agree, possibly even call the police, if he's just driving around and not stopping at intersections or lights he's a danger to everyone on the road...<br><br>
I'm worried for you...
 

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Oh mama, this sucks, and you SO do not need this. I know it is tough love, but it sounds like he does need some professional intervention, even if it does have to involve the police. Is there anybody else in his life that holds influence with him that might be able to help convince him to stay on his meds?<br><br>
EDIT: Just read the other thread to see what you had said about the meds. I forgot it was loss of benefits. So he is willing to take them if he has them? Why did he lose them? Are they crazy expensive to buy outright?
 

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Agreeing with the previous posters here.<br>
Call his parents and CALL THE POLICE! He needs help and very tough love right now!<br>
Above all he needs off the streets so he can't hurt himself and others and in custody somewhere that can help him!<br><br>
So sorry you have to be in this situation and many many prayers to the both of you, well, all 4 of you<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/praying.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="praying">:<br>
Peace be with you!
 

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youngmama, definitely call the police to prevent him from hurting himself further. I can tell you from direct personal experience that they'll take him into custody and then to the hospital where staff members will constantly watch him. Depending on his state, they'll have him evaluated by a psychiatrist, and then determine the right course of action. If he's in need of medication, which it seems he is, they'll medicate and keep him there until they feel he's out of danger. Also, depending on the service available in your area, they might offer him to stay at a sort of "halfway house" for a few days, just to get away from everything and rest. These places are actually really awesome, have counsellors there 24/7 for whomever wants to talk, and offer a much needed rest from the outside world. If that's not available, the hospital will definitely make sure he's counselled professionally until he's out of danger.<br><br>
I agree that you should definitely call his parents. They're going to want to know what's happening with their son.<br><br>
From your previous post, it seems like he's usually medicated and functions well on it, so he might just need some tough love and supervision for a little while to get back on his feet. Also, this will take all the responsibility off your shoulders.<br><br>
Many hugs to you mama! Be tough and your DH will thank you for it later.
 

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Youngmama, I agree with all the other mamas. There IS help out there for him, and he desperately needs it right now. I can understand you not wanting him to go to jail or be in an institution, but in the long run, it will help him and he will get back on the meds and you can get back on track. Better now than later down the road. I have some personal experience as well with a past partner being severely bipolar, and it is bigger than you. It needs to be dealt with by professionals and meds. Turn over the responsibility to those who are there to deal with this type of thing. There are many compassionate, helpful psychiatrists out there who can help him. I send you big hugs and love, mama. I know it must be so hard, but you guys will get through this. Let us know how things are going when you get a chance. Will be holding you in the light.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> hope you get help with him soon.
 

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So sad.<br><br>
Call his parents, call the police. Do whatever you can to get him help, but make sure you take care of yourself and your babies first!
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Thank you all so much for being there for me. I'm sorry for seeming so drama filled.. I lost contact with him for two hours last night.. I am very glad that he went straight to his parents house.. who are usually so quick to call the police.. they did not.. instead he talked to his mom,dad,& sister for a hour and a half. He has agreed to become more aggressive in either finding a way to get back on his benefits or finding another way to get his meds. He's apologized.. I can tell that he is sorry.. But on the other hand.. he is ill and i need to remember that even though he say's he promises it will won't happen again.. It's not really up to him.. I'm very weary about letting him back into my life without him being on his medication yet. I am guilty of letting him come back at 4 am.. Mostly because he had a important meeting at work i know he wouldn't make it to unless i was there to wake him up and force him out the door.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>youngmama'08</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10270975"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thank you all so much for being there for me. I'm sorry for seeming so drama filled.. I lost contact with him for two hours last night.. I am very glad that he went straight to his parents house.. who are usually so quick to call the police.. they did not.. instead he talked to his mom,dad,& sister for a hour and a half. He has agreed to become more aggressive in either finding a way to get back on his benefits or finding another way to get his meds. He's apologized.. I can tell that he is sorry.. But on the other hand.. he is ill and i need to remember that even though he say's he promises it will won't happen again.. It's not really up to him.. I'm very weary about letting him back into my life without him being on his medication yet. I am guilty of letting him come back at 4 am.. Mostly because he had a important meeting at work i know he wouldn't make it to unless i was there to wake him up and force him out the door.</div>
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At the risk of sounding like a bi-otch ... I'd say that at this point in your life, YOU come first. You have to take care of yourself, and your children, and unfortunately, that doesn't leave a lot of room for him at this point. He's going to have to take some responsibilty for himself, and get himself some help. You can't have him around, acting this way, now, or when then babies get here.<br><br>
I'm sorry ....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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As hard as it is, you need to take care of yourself right now. You can't help him if he is not on his meds and you really shouldn't be around him (I know, easier said than done). Call the company that makes the meds, like right away. many times they will help you qualify for free meds and they can approve it fast if his doctor can vouch that he needs meds. If at all possible buy meds this month out of pocket. It will be cheaper in the long run then the damage that he could do to himself or someone else and its cheaper than ending up in the hospital. Look up the drugs he's on and patience assistance programs on the internet. I have experience with this, there is help. Can you borrow money to get the meds? I"m thinking of you.
 

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So sorry to hear all this, youngmama. What a wrenching time this must be. I hope today brings progress with his situation (IE, hospitalization or a really productive meeting with a healthcare professional).<br><br>
I agree with DiannaK. It seems like you have to find a way out. Your babies are counting on YOU and only you to protect them from unhealthy situations, and your boyfriend's mental illness is unfortunately one of those situations and probably will be for a while to come. Maybe things will change when he gets a little older or has been stabilized on meds for a good long time (a year?) but for now all the warning signs in the world are flashing that you need to get yourself and your babies safely away from the danger and drama, even if he is the father and a good, decent human being.<br><br>
OK - I know you didn't ask for this advice and I know some people may feel its unfair, but ultimately you are not at all responsible for anyone by yourself and your children. All of your posts on this topic go straight to my gut, as in "Warning! Warning! Get out now!"<br><br>
Thinking of you and sending you strength...
 

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I agree with the pps that you need to just leave. But I still worry about the consequences of him being unmedicated. I recommend having his parents commit him or having his parents or you call his doc/pscyh for advice. Good luck.
 

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Fl has a "baker act" law, if a person is a danger to himself/other due to psych reasons, the police come pick them up and admit them to the hospital for 3 days mandatory and longer if deemed necessary by medical personal. Do they have something like this in your area?
 

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This is just to pass on a message of support. I am not in a position to give you advice but I wanted to tell you that a similar thing happened to someone close to me when she was pregnant. Her dh had severe depression, not bipolar, but was acting in a way very much like you describe yours acting. It was extremely hard on her, so I imagine you are going through a lot right now. You sound like a strong, thoughtful person, though, so I think you just need to continue to have faith in yourself and trust yourself to have the courage to do what needs to be done. I think your instincts will guide you.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DiannaK</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10271427"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">At the risk of sounding like a bi-otch ... I'd say that at this point in your life, YOU come first. You have to take care of yourself, and your children, and unfortunately, that doesn't leave a lot of room for him at this point. He's going to have to take some responsibilty for himself, and get himself some help. You can't have him around, acting this way, now, or when then babies get here.<br><br>
I'm sorry ....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></div>
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Took the words right out of my mouth. This is not acceptable behaviour, sick or not.... he is an adult and you, well you're pregnant. And your priority has to be you + b abies and not him.<br><br>
Easy for me to say, but get this settled ASAP so that if you can relax, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and raise your babies in a healthy and stable environment.
 
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