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I was raised in a "toxic" family...I tried so hard after I became an adult and moved out on my own to keep them in my life because, well, they're family! However, I knew it was futile...I knew that they were draining the life out of me, and if I wanted to be happy and healthy I needed to part ways. Yes, saying goodbye to family is a very difficult thing to do, but what is the definition of family? The literal definition is obviously people who are related, either by blood or marriage. What does it mean to *act* like a family, though? It certainly doesn't mean disrespect, abuse, and making certain family member's lives miserable. In my opinion, the only thing that counts is the way people treat each other, and if more often than not you are being treated with total disrespect then why keep them in your life? Cutting my "family" out of my life was the greatest and hardest thing I've ever done. There are times when I wish I could have them back in my life, but I know that that wouldn't be healthy.

If you think there is a chance that if you or your husband stand up to them and make them respect your boundaries they will listen and change then what's stopping you from trying it? You've got nothing to lose at this point.

Lastly, children typically are very good at reading people. It sounds like your kids know that your in-laws are not worth keeping in your lives.
 
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