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The best thing to do is not to let them have no control over what they say or do but you do have control over your reaction to it.

We moved from being 15 hours away to 20 mins away between ds and dd#2 and had a hell of a time explaining to them what boundaries are...the MIL especially. Now she stays out of our life unless we invite her in, OK yes the pendulum has swung the other way but I am sure that eventually we will find an equilibrium.

However, I found that the more power I gave them, the more they used. Now they realize that they make little difference in our lives and say very little about it. BUT when they do make a negative comment, we are right there to correct them firmly!!! We then tell them that will will not stand for their negativity as it affects our children and if they can't respect our decisions then we will not be around them. They come around pretty quickly.
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