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Maybe its just my personality, but I'm pretty sure both my parents and my IL's understand that it's my family, my children, my body, and my way or the highway if they want to be a part of it. I still get aggravated about how I compromised with the births of my first two.. letting people in too soon, and even then they were bent because no one but my husband was allowed to witness the birth, and no one was allowed to hold my children until I was [email protected] good and ready, etc. The whole family has behaved like they'd cut us out in a heartbeat for not giving in to their wishes, so I'm turning the tables on them next time. I fully intend to keep the next one on the DL until I can't anymore, and NO ONE is coming near me or that baby (no one besides dh and sibs), or even the house for that matter, until a month or so has gone by. With the IL's though, my dh is the only child, and my kids are the only grandchildren, so they tread pretty carefully around their opinionated DIL. That kind of gives me the upper hand, and I'm not above working that angle. Mind you, I put up with a lot too... I like to think we've reached a point of mutual respect.... but I don't know if they'd agree!

It sounds like what you're dealing with is MUCH worse than anything I've endured... to suggest that your son should die because you make informed, concscious decisions about the way you live???? Sounds to me like they *want* something bad to happen to your family so they can tell you how right they are!! That's a horrible thing to have to live under! Really, hon, you won't miss them when they're gone! There's a time for compromise and cheek-turning and a time to set yourself free. I agree with a pp... have dh call and lay it down, and if they can't play by your rules, then they don't get to participate. Maybe if you guys put your collective foot down, they'll reconsider some of their bad behavior. Maybe not. Either way, you do what you have to do to protect your family... that's not being deceptive, that's being honest about how and who they really are. You can't help the choices they've made, but you can control how they affect your family!
and regardless of how you decide to handle it, just take comfort in the fact that it IS your decision to make, and you ARE the ones with the power to control the situation!!
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