Mothering Forum banner

Hitting then signing for milk....

420 Views 5 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  msiddiqi
DS (13mo) keeps hitting me and then signs for milk. When he hits I try to grab his arm midway and say in a serious voice "No hitting mama. Be gentle" and try to show him gentle. He usually hits again in anger and asks for milk again. I'm not really sure what to do because I don't want to give him milk right after he hits me because I feel like that's sending him the wrong message. But the more I delay it the angrier he gets. It's a big problem because he is preverbal and I don't know how much of what I'm saying is making sense.
I had posted recently because he also has increased his # of tantrums etc - so I'm sure all of this is intertwined. But I'm not quite sure what to do with this specific situation.
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Is it possible that he was asking for milk before he hit and then asked? Sometimes kids will think we aren't listening and they get frustrated and try new things to get our attention. Just keep being consistent. I don't know what else to say. Hopefully somone with more expertise will post. Good Luck!
I would ignore the hitting and immediately show him how to touc your arm gently, then respond immediately.
I would look at it as an anger management issue. Pay attention to what happens right before he hits. Maybe he is asking for nursing and you miss the cue? Or maybe something else is frustrating him and driving him to look for comfort via nursing?

I wouldn't worry about him seeing nursing as a reward for hitting you. I think he's showing you that he's feeling out of control by hitting you and that he's asking for a nice nursing session to help him relax and regain control.

My DD hits too and it's really annoying.
See less See more
Well, actually that is the problem
He's started to ask for milk about every ten minutes, sometimes more. I try to give it to him asap, but like yesterday, I was finishing up a conversation on the phone and he signed for milk. So I looked at him and said, "Ok, I will give you milk, mama's getting off the phone" so he knew I acknowledged his request. That's when he got angry and started hitting me.
I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed his hand and said, "We touch mama gently" and tried to show him. He hit me again. We went upstairs to nurse, and as he was about to latch on he hit me. So I took him out of my lap and put him on the bed next to me. Then I picked him up, nursed him on one side, and when he popped off, he hit me again and then signed for milk. I took him out of my lap again and put him on the bed for about 30 secs, and then picked him up and nursed him on the other side. Then throughout the rest of the nursing session he carressed my face, and I said, "yes baby, that's how we touch mama, gently".
Of course later on that day, he started to hit me again. Sometimes he throws a tantrum because I he had to wait for me to get my shirt up...I'm too cold to walk around nakie all day!
See less See more

Originally Posted by Calidris
If you "catch" the hit, try and turn it into a pat/gentle stroke and tell him how nice it is that he is being gentle. Telling them not to hit doesn't do much at that age, giving them an alternative helps.

And when he throws a tantrum over the time it takes you get get your shirt up, remind yourself how much worse it would be if you had to warm a bottle

Yeah, that's exactly what I do but he usually gets mad and takes his hand away from me and hits me again....I guess you're right though, I'd end up bruised by the time I warmed a bottle up
See less See more
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.