[*clementine*]

I don't know where to begin with this.<br>
Dh has bipolar type 2. Which means that he dosen't have any ups, just downs.<br>
He cycles between doing alright and the he goes into total disfunction.<br>
Last week we were in the depths of hell. He was suicidal, walked out on us etc..etc...sheer hell.<br>
At the end of the week he had a dr. appointment. I was really relieved because I thought he could talk to his doctor (never mind that I think he may be a quack) and get some real help if his dr. could see him at THAT point in his depressioon. By the way, he does have the best dr. in town as far as recommendations go.<br>
So dh sleeps ALL morning long, and I get him up for his appointment. When I pick him up I ask him how it went. He tells me that his dr. told him that he has ADD.<br>
We get in a fight.<br>
My point is, how can you by pass the "I'm sucicdal and talk about your minor inability to focus?!" He tells me I'm controlling and to butt out of his appointments.<br>
ugh.<br>
So on to today.<br>
He's out of his dispair and going through normal times.<br>
I walk into his office.<br>
Usually I'm greeted with a "what's up?"<br>
Today he gets out of his chair, hugs me and tells me he's been waiting all morning for me to get to work. And he kisses me.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br>
I'm like.........<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: hmmmm.<br>
And then he tells me:<br>
remember how the dr. said he has ADD. Well apparently the dr. gave him....brace yourselves.<br>
Amphetamine salts.<br>
Yea.<br>
So my guy is now officially on speed.<br>
Among our other problems.<br>
He tells me today that he can't wait to wake up tomorrow and take his meds. That he's never felt so alive.<br>
The upside is: He sure is chatty!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Gotta love that.<br>
So- in your opinion.<br>
Anphetamines (I know I"m spelling it wrong. sorry.) for ADD.<br>
ADD-what the hell......okay, am I crazy, or dosen't EVERYONE get this diagnosis?<br>
And.......well, you tell me.<br>
Should I stay out of his personal business, or go bitch slap his doctor?

 

[Monkeyfeet]

no advice, just hugs.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">

 

[*clementine*]

Thanks. I decided that I would wait and see what happens today.<br>
Apparently the bottle says to take THREE pills-and he was high as a kite yesterday.<br>
Today he reduced it to one pill without me even having to have a conversation with him about it.<br>
I'm hoping this just won't be an issue. That it will help. If it goes badly, it could be a long road. But I'm always so pesimistic lol...I'm already labeling him a drug addict after one dose, and trying to figure out our recovery plan.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
Anyway, thanks for responding. After getting no replys I felt really exposed.

 

[grisandole]

Moving to the mental health forum, I think you'll get some great info there <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[Mamma Mia]

ADD is very frequently co-morbid with bipolar, so it could very well be that he has it. People with bipolar 2 still have ups (otherwise we would call it depression or dysthymia), the ups are what makes it a polarized thing. People with bipolar 2 often do not go into full blown mania, they will have shorter bursts of hypomania, having some of the symptoms of mania but to a lesser degree for a shorter period of time. They will also have mixed episodes where basically the bad feelings of depression coincide with the higher energies of hypomania. This creates agitation, volatility. This is when those who have suicidal thoughts at other times may move to actually attempting suicide. BD people in a mixed episode may self harm, or fly into a rage.<br><br>
It is very possible to confuse hypomania with ADD or even moreso, ADHD. Obviously, I'm not a doctor, and I don't know your DH, so I can't say what I would think either way. I can tell you that if he doesn't have ADD, taking a stimulant may cause him to flip into hypomanic episodes. If he stops, his depression may sink lower. What is he taking for his BD2? Anything?

 

[*clementine*]

Cripes....I didn't expect to get THAT much help.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br>
Thank you.<br>
He's on Lamictal-100 mg and 10mg of Lexapro.<br>
Recently I took him into the hosptial without having health insurance because his down period was so bad. I was discussing the volitale nature of his illness and the dr. told us that WAS NOT part of mental illness-and told me that he's just an asshole. For real-that's what he said.<br>
He told us that he has a choice how he behaves even when depressed and if he's not going to "behave" better then he's indulging in his own weakness. He also said he's a "dry drunk" dh hasn't drank in 6 years, and that's where this stems from. Then they sent us home. I was utterly lost. I had always delt with his hostility by telling myself it was the illness. If I was being told it wasn't....then ?<br>
While we were leaving-we were in the parking lot, a nurse told us she clocked out so she could talk to us off the record. She told me that aggression WAS part of the illness.<br>
So thank you for letting me know that it is. I've been unsure. The more unsure I am, the harder it is to be here.<br>
I also wondered about the amphetimine spinning him into rage, or going off of them causing more depression.<br>
Thanks again for all the help.<br>
After I wrote this I just wanted to pull my post and hide. Now I'm glad I waited.

 

[Mamma Mia]

Oooh yeah, aggression, irritability, quick to anger or rage- that is definitely part of the illness. A "dry drunk" is an alcoholic who is in withdrawal. If your dh hasn't had a drink in 6 years, I doubt he is a dry drunk. (Or it is a term used by AA people who think AA/12 steps is the only way to deal with alcoholism for people who quit drinking without their program. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">) It sounds like he was looking to rationalize the asshole-ish behavior that your dh has and give it some sort of cause, but bipolar disorder is enough to create an asshole out of a nice person.<br><br>
It's really hard to figure out the moods, especially as an outsider. Ideally, his meds would have him stabilized, but in the mean time, looking up the moods (NAMI, DBSA and even wiki have good resources) and figuring out how they manifest in him would probably really help you as a couple. I would try to figure that stuff out together, or together with his therapist/pdoc and then have a check in at least once a day with regards to his moods.<br><br>
For example, he could tell you each day that his meds made him feel weird, or he was irritable, or that he felt really energetic, or that he felt sad, mopey, unmotivated, etc. That way you would have some context for his behavior.<br><br>
The fact that the doc brushed off typical depressed/mixed bipolar behavior as him just being a big jerk sends up a few red flags for me, personally. I would want a second opinion if it were my doctor. You are in a position that it is trickier to bring that stuff up, but I think your feelings that something is off are totally valid based on what you've said.

 

[*clementine*]

It wasn't his regular doctor that said this stuff-just so you know. It was the dr. at the psych. ward.<br>
I've been reading through bi polar threads on here. Do you know if he should be on a mood stableizer? I've always felt that he should, but him and his dr. dont' seem to do anything about it-and I'm "not invited" to the appointments.<br>
I would do reading on the sub. and try and regulate his moods, but right now I'm soooo worn down that I can't.<br>
I'm dealing with too much. The hostility has really been getting to me. It's REALLY helpful to hear that other woman's husbands want to leave them too when they are cycling. I thought I was the only one who goes through that.<br>
It breaks my heart and makes me not trust him.<br>
I've gone from being 100% in love, to 100% guarded and "not present" in the relationship. It kills me every time he decides that I'm the enemy because he blames it all on me. So I spent a lot of time trying to become a better person so it would change-and it just wore me out. I'm totally isolated because no one else I know deals with this in their relationship, and I'm afraid of their judgement.... Such a sad way to live.

 

[viking]

<a href="http://www.revolutionhealth.com/drugs-treatments/lexapro-side-effects" target="_blank">aggresion and being suicidal can be side-effects of lexapro</a> ...<br><br>
i can verify that! i got many mental diagnoses before they understood it 'was only side-effects' from their drugs. i refuse to take any more of their pills cause they make me sick. especially mentally. i urge you to research his symptoms and health-history further!<br><br>
how can anyone trust an industry that depends on people being sick enough to eat their pills?<br>
i am sure there are other ways for him to get well.<br>
understanding the cause-and-effects help healing a lot, add a dose of willpower and smart choices and voila. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br><br><a href="http://bipolar.about.com/cs/sfx/a/sfx_lamictal.htm" target="_blank">about lamictal</a>:<br>
"Less Common Side Effects:<br><br><b>Anxiety, confusion, depression, irritability, or other mood or mental changes</b>; continuous, uncontrolled back and forth and/or rolling eye movements."<br><br><br><br>
and<br><br><br><a href="http://www.drugs.com/Amphetamine/index.html" target="_blank">http://www.drugs.com/Amphetamine/index.html</a><br>
"Do not take amphetamine if you: [...] have a history of drug or alcohol abuse"<br><br><br>
best wishes. you and him together can figure this out!

 

[Mamma Mia]

Lamictal is a mood stabilizer, fwiw, but maybe lithium would be a better choice for him, as it has good results with bipolar 2 people.<br><br>
I totally identify with what you're talking about with being guarded, but ironically, I am the bipolar person in the relationship, yet I am now the one pulling back and being guarded and not trusting my partner's behaviors and responses.<br><br>
I'm sorry he is blaming you. This isn't really about you, it's about him-- it just happens to affect you the most of anyone besides him! It is totally unfair for him to blame you. Is there any way you two can get in on couples therapy? Paranoia is a part of bipolar too, and it can cause people with BD to shut loved ones out. 90% of marriages with a bipolar spouse end in divorce, so if you are starting to feel like things are getting rough, it might be beneficial to seek help. It seems like he is not communicating his treatment plans with you.<br><br>
IMO, if I had cancer, I would discuss over and over with my partner what my treatment plans were, and involve them in the process of decision making, even though the ultimate choice would be up to me. I would do that if I were diabetic or infertile or whatever. I do that with my bipolar too. I am the researcher in the relationship, so my partner is more of a sounding board for me, but he always knows what I'm taking, why, how it works, how it makes me feel, if I've taken it that day, do I like it, etc. We operate as a unit, so I feel that it's really important for me to lay this stuff out there.

 

[perl]

Please, please go read at <a href="http://www.psycheducation.org" target="_blank">www.psycheducation.org</a> . This is written by the same guy who answers questions as "ask the doctor" at <a href="http://www.bipolarworld.net" target="_blank">www.bipolarworld.net</a> (check out the section there for family members) . Bipolar d/o is a very complex illness and I'm soooo sorry that you both were treated so dismissively at the ER. That is inexcusable for any health professoinal. Hugs to you both and good luck on this journey. Please let us know how you guys are doing!

 

[kaydee]

I think it's also really important for people who love someone with BP to get help/support/information.<br><br>
Two good sources for that are the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (<a href="http://www.dbsalliance.org" target="_blank">www.dbsalliance.org</a>) and NAMI (<a href="http:" target="_blank">www.nami.org)</a>.<br><br>
I have BP2 and when I am in one of my states, it is like hell. I know it is that way for my dp, too.