[jitterBug mom]

My midwives are coming to my house for a 36 week home visit. I have been going to their house for the prenatal visits, so this is the first time they will see my house.

I feel silly to admit this but I was cleaning the house and worrying that they would not think I am crunchy enough or something.

I know, I know ... I should feel comfortable being myself around them, but they seem so pure and earthy, I almost want to hide the plastic toys and goldfish crackers!

Anyone else feel like this when your midwife first saw your house, or am I the only one vain enough to worry about this sort of thing? They are so nice and non-judgmental too, which makes it even sillier that I am feeling this way.

 

[heamae]

I always feel that way!! At one of the visits my kids were eating Mcdonalds!! I felt really bad that day!!

 

[sunflowergirll]

Oh yeah, I wanted to cringe at all the plastic toys. To be fair, most of them were gifts. But the majority of DDs toys are plastic. *sigh*

Also, my blood pressure was the highest it had been because I had spent the last 2 hours furiously running around and cleaning.

 

[txgal]

:

My blood pressure was high too, the midwife commented that I must have been nervous to have her there. She acted like it was pretty common during her home visits.

Just for reassurance, I didn't have the same issue during labor.

 

[JamieCatheryn]

I'm a little ashamed of my home too, having seen her perfect waldorfy home full of beautiful wooden toys and gorgeous and comfy decor. But then I consider that she alone is making twice what DH makes if I translate her client load times standard fee into a salary, and she has family and friends nearby that give her great stuff too. So long as it's relatively clean and meets our needs well (daily use and labor/birthing), I'll stay happy with it.

 

[penstamon]

I have had the same worries about the home visits, which have not begun yet. My main midwife has this immaculate, spotless home all perfectly decorated, which is totally not something I would ever own. Our house is small, cozy, and covered in pet hair, dog slobber, dirt, you name it. We actually clean a lot and I really don't mind the level of "mess" we live with. But man, I sure got uncomfortable when she mentioned that she would have to check out our house for hb purposes...

 

[littlebb]

Yeah, I think that's pretty normal. I see my midwife at her office, but I still feel a little self-conscious sometimes because while I'm pretty natural about a lot of things in my life, I'm no where near the level she and her assistant are. It wouldn't work if I didn't know she isn't judgmental at all. I still have a ways to go before my home visit, but I have no doubt I'll be pretty nervous and cleaning like a mad woman for it, too.

Part of our agreement is to provide food during our birth - most importantly for me and DH, but to have some on hand for the midwives should they be there for awhile. I don't mind, but at first I panicked wondering if I'm supposed to have super-healthy, vegetarian organic stuff - I eat healthy but I'm just not that crunchy. In our homebirth class we asked about it and she said that they will honestly eat anything we provide and not to go out of our way for them. And she seemed really sincere. I feel better when both my midwives show up for our appointment with Starbucks coffee in hand, too : )

 

[larzanna]

I just had my 36 week home visit, and while i don't/didn't care about my level of "crunchy" since she knows that i am not anyway, i did run around like a crazy person cleaning...toilets, litterboxes, vaccuuming, fluffing pillows, no dishes in the sink ect....and i am a really clean person normally, i just wanted it even cleaner!!
Thats what i am afraid of when i go into early labor. I KNOW i should rest, but i am going to want to CLEAN THE HOUSE.....will have to get the DH to do it even though he should probably be resting a bit at that point too!

 

[Mom2SammyJoe]

My midwife has come to me for all of my appointments, and this makes me really glad that she has. I always straighten up before she comes, but I didn't have all the pressure in one visit.

 

[ErinsJuneBug]

I have HONESTLY been considering hiring a cleaning lady to come 3 and 1 weeks before i am due. I cant imagine being compelled to scrub our shower/clean our toilets while in labor...and i know i will totally think about it.

 

[DahliaRW]

IMO, if your midwife is judging you for having plastic toys and goldfish she's very judgemental and I wouldn't want her for my midwife. I'm sure midwives see the whole spectrum of parenting and houses. I wouldn't worry.

 

[MegBoz]

Not HB-related, but I know what you mean. I went to a "meet-up" for AP Moms & was self-conscious pulling up in an SUV. (It's a very small one - we need a way to transport the baby & the 2 little dogs in their crates.)

 

[jitterBug mom]

Ha, I felt so much better reading everyone's posts, how funny that so many of us feel self-conscious about our houses around the same women who will be watching us birth! And txgal, I'm happy to hear you say that you didn't feel the same at your actual birth. That makes sense I guess, because at that point I think most women would be too focused on labor and the baby to care about whether the midwife saw the hidden Cheeto stash..

My home visit was tonight actually and of course they were very sweet as usual. And no, I didn't hide the plastic toys.

 

[srlpenny]

My mw actually teased me about how clean my house always was. When I said I wanted to make sure it was neat for them, she put me at ease saying "There's a reason why we always meet at your house, you wouldn't even want to see mine!" No I don't worry quite so much, although I do still pick up, I just can't stop it.

 

[Limabean1975]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ErinsJuneBug I have HONESTLY been considering hiring a cleaning lady to come 3 and 1 weeks before i am due. I cant imagine being compelled to scrub our shower/clean our toilets while in labor...and i know i will totally think about it.

I've been considering this too! My worry though is that I'll book a cleaner in for, say, 1 week before my due date, then birth the day before (post-partum cleaning would be great too, but not that soon!), OR not birth for another three weeks, giving the house plenty of time to get dirty again. Hrmmmm.

My midwife will come for the home visit next week. At the very least I'm sure I'll scrub down the bathroom and kitchen...I won't worry about scattered toys and such, though.

 

[Beauchamp]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jitterBug mom How funny that so many of us feel self-conscious about our houses around the same women who will be watching us birth!

SO true!

I am self conscious, too, about our house being a fairly large one in a new subdivision...not very crunchy at all by the looks of it!

But if you open up our pantry or fridge you will see my semi-crunchiness there!

Our house is pretty big and new for just me and DH, though, but I hate when people comment on that.

BTW, my MW has plastic toys in her little home office, for clients' kids to play with.

eta: I'm certain I will clean before the home visit. Especially the master bedroom and both bathrooms.

 

[groovynaturemama]

i'm an apprentice and i can say that my midwife and i do not care about what the house looks like, nevermind the if the toys are plastic or not or what the mama's "crunch factor" is. all that we really care about is that the birth supplies are mostly gathered and we want to know where the electrical outlets and phone are, and maybe take a look at the water fixtures if we will need to fill a birth pool. my midwife has done births for the amish with no electricity or running water, as well as in a teepee and really tiny trailers. a home is a home

heck, when my midwife came for my home visit (before i apprenticed with her) she left coated in dog hair

this time we live in a different house and have 2 less dogs (may they RIP

: ), so the hair is more manageable, but i really don't think she cares at all.

 

[Limabean1975]

Quote:

Originally Posted by liss_420 i'm an apprentice and i can say that my midwife and i do not care about what the house looks like, nevermind the if the toys are plastic or not or what the mama's "crunch factor" is. all that we really care about is that the birth supplies are mostly gathered and we want to know where the electrical outlets and phone are, and maybe take a look at the water fixtures if we will need to fill a birth pool. my midwife has done births for the amish with no electricity or running water, as well as in a teepee and really tiny trailers. a home is a home .

Thanks. That's actually really nice to hear and is making me relax a little (I'm not worried about the "crunch factor" but cleanliness. And cat hair!).

 

[ShwarmaQueen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DahliaRW I'm sure midwives see the whole spectrum of parenting and houses. I wouldn't worry.

:

 

[Comtessa]

My midwives came for a home visit last week, but it was a last-minute reschedule and I hadn't realized it was the "real" home visit and they would need a tour! It was so embarassing to show them our bedroom strewn with laundry - not to mention toys of a certain sensitive nature hiding (partly) under the bed... I just opened the door and said, "this is the bedroom," and then shut it again really really fast. I'll totally be cleaning in labor, I know it!