Mothering Forum banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,049 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hi all, i'm about 6 weeks pg with baby #2 and conteplating a homebirth. we wanted one with our first, but there was no m/w available at the time. we ended up having the worst hospital experience ever...it was so bad the local paper did a full-page story on our ordeal...basically we were treated like crap by the entire hospital staff, almost everything went wrong, and i ended up with almost every intervention possible, ending with surgery to repair the damage...i can barely stand to think about it...<br><br>
anyway, now that a homebirth is an option for us, i'm a little scared...what if my body re-tears and i need to be rushed to the hospital? what if, what if, what if...? i know that most (if not all) of the problems with the last birth wouldn't have happened if i felt safe and supported, but i can't get that voice out of my head...<br><br>
we only live 5 minutes on a bad day from the hospital if something were to go wrong...ugh...anyway, can anyone help me with this? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
thanks!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
198 Posts
Hi Stacey and congratulations on your pregnancy! I just want to encourage you that you can most definitely have the birth of your dreams, no matter what your last experience was like. A lady I post with on another site just recently had a very redeeming homebirth. Her first birth was much like yours and she was left feeling like she never wanted another child after that because it was so bad. She felt very 'raped' by the hospital system. She had close to 40 hours of labor with that baby I believe. It was quite tramatic all around. She just gave birth at home in water on February 1 to a beautiful baby girl and felt very empowered and very much redeemed by that birth. One thing that she did, and I always recommend, is to read, read, read. I know that many women here will have different book recommendations but 2 at the top of my list right now are "Birthing From Within" and "Active Birth".<br><br>
Good luck with your decision. Just know that you can most definitely have a homebirth if you want one!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
906 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Hugs mama<br><br>
We are planning a homebirth this time *because* of our terrible hospital birth last time---basically the opposite of everything we wanted. I am hoping that this birth will re-empower me and help me find everything I lost as a result of my first birth experience. This time, I get to choose who is present and I have people who will strongly respect my wishes. You need to give birth where you are most comfortable with people that you can trust. I hope you can have a beautiful birth to help you heal from your last experience.<br><br>
Also, I would highly recommend talking to someone (a therapist/counselor/psychologist) who understands birth and respects it---if you haven't already that is. Never underestimate the power of the mind/body connection, especially in pregnancy! I have been surprised at how much it has helped me to work through so many issues. It is helping me to have a more peaceful pregnancy and I believe it will also help me during labor and birth.<br><br>
Trust birth!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,542 Posts
Hi there, I struggled with similar feelings during my last pregnancy. My first child was born scheduled c/s so I didn't necessarily have a traumatic birthing experience but because of my personal values I knew I wanted it differently this time around. I had a 24 hr homebirth which ended up with another c/s at the hospital 2 months ago. I'm not saying this to discourage you but rather to encourage you. My water had broken when labor started and I labored for quite some time without any medical intervention. We went to the hospital because labor wouldn't progress and I knew that it was time. You see, that is the thing, you use common sense, and you know when it's time to go. Like you, I lived very close to the hospital and in the end I had my c/s and everything was fine, despite how appalled hospital staff was that I had labored so long at home with broken waters, lol.<br><br>
Bottom line is that I reached a point in my labor where I was outside of my comfort zone and I felt that I was putting my baby and myself at risk if I didn't get to the hospital. You will know what your threshold is and hopefully you don't come to that point at all but if you do, you will know. Plus you will have your midwife and support people surrounding you to help you make that decision if it comes to that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,420 Posts
Hello!<br>
Congrats on your pregnancy! I had an AWFUL borth with my first in the hospital and the most amazing home waterbirth in November with my second. Although I was scared of the "what-ifs", it is amazing of how empowering it is when you get to do it the way you have envisioned birth to be. I understand being scared, believe me, but read, post questions here and we will support yo uin any way we can! Good luck and gotta go nurse my homebirthed babe!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/winner.jpg" style="border:0px solid;" title="BFSymbol">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,129 Posts
I had a bad first hospital birth after an emergency transfer while attempting to UC, and I still went on to HB my second, so I totally understand how you feel.<br><br><br>
Reading that book "Birthing From Within" helped me a lot.<br><br>
You can console yourself with the fact that you are only moments away from a hospital if you have a true emergency, but it is very likely everything will be fine and normal and you won't need it.<br><br>
You can do it!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
368 Posts
just wanted to say i'm so sorry to hear about your horrible hospital experience.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> it makes me so upset to think about all that unnecessary suffering.<br><br>
on a brighter note- congratulations on the new bub!!! i am sure if you find a good midwife and talk to her she will be able to tell you whether you are a good candidate for a home birth and assuage any fears/worries that you have. good luck mama- i hope this time your birthing experience is healing and empowering!
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top