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I am already jealous of everyone who got to have a homebirth, and I don't know how I'm going to handle this labour / delivery knowing that such a wonderful choice was oh so close but oh so far away for me.

I have pre-existing conditions which mean that I won't ever get to homebirth. Hell, 30 years ago, women with my condition couldn't even have babies so I'm so glad that medical advances have come far enough to enable me to have children, even if it means they are hospital births. When I was a young girl I was told I'd never be able to have children, so just seeing my daughter's face, and knowing I'm carrying her sibling is truly miraculous.

But, there is always that nagging feeling of longing and jealousy. It sucks. And it isn't helped by women who (without knowing my medical history) look down on me for "choosing" a hospital birth.

Sorry, just needed to vent a little.
 

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Awwww...
Well those people who look down on you for that choice should be ashamed... even if they wouldn't choose the same (and it's not what you want to choose), that's not right for the judgement call.

I think homebirth is awesome, but I don't begrudge my twin sister her choice to birth at the hospital. Don't feel bad for what you need to do for safety for your condition.

That said... make the birth you have as homey as you can make it... and try to make that count for something. Can you stay home a while before you go to the hospital or do you have to be there right away? A labor that takes place at home for the vast majority can help you to still have that comfort and peace without being there.

I know it's not the same though...
~Julie
 

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That must be so hard for you!

I was just at a hospital birth last month with a mum (in what sounds like the same situation) who had a condition that wouldn't allow for a homebirth. It was an amazingly beautiful water birth, without intervention, in a calm, low light, quite, supportive room. She did have to fight to have it that way (mostly prenataly and with her previous chidlren) but it can be done. Not to say that it's possible to have a home like birth, but an empowering one, where with a few concessions you can get what you need. Good luck mama!
 

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I think sometimes people get so wrapped up in encouraging everyone to homebirth, that they forget that there *are* legitimate reasons to hospital birth. I don't think they mean it though.

Anyway, I agree with the PP - make your hospital birth as homey as you can. Pick out the right OB, make a good birth plan and make sure everyone (OB and hospital nurses) are willing to follow it, etc. Also, enjoy being waited on postpartum. I actually liked that part of being in the hospital last time (preterm birth, so I too had to be in the hospital and skip my homebirth dreams at the time).

I'm hoping to have an out-of-hospital birth this time around, but I still know that I *could* end up in the hospital with another preemie. If that happens, I'm going to make that hospital birth everything I want it to be. I've got the OB that will let it happen, and I just need to tell him what I want and make sure DH knows what he needs to advocate for (he's an awesome advocate - leaving me to be the good patient and him to be the bad guy if necessary
). And if this baby is preterm, I know that I too probably will never get a homebirth. I'm sure I'd still feel some twinges of jealousy, but at the same time, I'd know that I'm doing what is best for me and my baby, and you *can* have an awesome birth experience in a hospital. It just takes planning and education! I know someone here who is having a waterbirth at the hospital - something the OB and the hospital have never done before. She's hired 2 doulas that normally assist the local midwife here, and I know she'll have an awesome birth. She's taken charge of the situation and is making it what she wants it to be!
 

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I don't know how intervention-free your condition allows your birth to be, but just a potential look on the bright side--one way in which hospital birth has an edge is in equipment.

If you're hoping for a waterbirth or to labor in water, the hospital's tub is likely to be superior to what can be set up at home.

Just a thought
 
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