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Discussion Starter #1
Maybe this is just a crazy idea.<br><br>
I am so stressed about what to do with my son for school next year. He has a "late birthday" and will be 6 in November. He has been going to preschool for the past few years and it has been a really good experience for us all.<br><br>
I had always assumed that I would send my kids to public school, but now that it is getting close and I am actually looking at the schools my kids would go to... I just don't know. And private schools are a whole different bundle of issues/problems.<br><br>
In many ways, I do think homeschooling would be ideal for us, but,and I realize this might open me up to plenty of flaming, I don't know that I could sanely spend all day every day with my son. I wish that I didn't feel this way but I do. He is very very smart and very very sweet and funny and wonderful in a million ways. But he is intense and... I don't know what else but I really am not sure I have the patience to be with him all day, every day. This year he has been in preschool M-Thursday 9-1:00 and that is perfect for us. I know that I will miss him next year if he is away at school M-F 7-2, but I just don't know what else to do.<br><br>
My main concern with the public school is that he will be bored academically. End of grade tests are big here in nc and from what i can tell the schools teach to the tests. I don't know that my son is "gifted" but he is very smart and is a very quick learner.<br><br>
Ugh. Writing all this out makes me feel so guilty. At this moment it seems like I would be using the public school as a sort of daycare and social time for my son. That doesn't sit very well with me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Boy, now I feel even more <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: than I was when I started this post.<br><br>
My original question, and I am still interested in answers, is if anybody has done both public school and homeschooling at the same time?<br><br>
Ack. I am a mess.
 

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What exactly do you mean by "homeschooling and public schooling at the same time"? Do you mean homeschooling some children while others attend school? Yup, it's being done by at least two members of this board that I can think of offhand (me being one of them.)<br><br>
Do you mean sending him to school and then teaching him more stuff after he gets home from school?<br><br>
I tried doing that with my girls, specificially to give them a Judaic education while in public school, since at the time I couldn't afford a Jewish school for them. It just didn't work. They came home from school with homework (usually busywork) and needing exercise since they'd been sitting still for far too long during the school day. It was a struggle just to get them to do their homework and have some time left for them to just be kids.<br><br>
One of the main advantages to HSing, IMO, is that DD isn't pressured to be on the school's schedual. She's not tired from waking up before her body is ready, or irritable from not being able to get enough exercise, or bored from having to do busywork all day, or stressed out from not getting enough "me time" during the day.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
oh, i'm talking about the same kid- both sending him to public school and then supplementing at home with a homeschool curriculum.<br><br>
yeah, i guess i probably can't have it both ways. he'd have to be there around 7 am and home a little after 2.<br><br>
ugh. parenting is so full of hard decisions.
 

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Just a quick comment on the being driven insane comment. Two things to consider - One, he's going to continue to mature and that will make many things easier. Two, who says you can't have him really busy doing outside classes for sports, art, chess, music, whatever to give you some alone time? Check out your local groups and see what opportunities there are for co-op classes, etc. You might find you get sufficient time to recharge by utilizing such resources.<br><br>
And don't feel guilty! Everyone needs time to recharge, it is just a matter of finding the space you need.
 

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Hi! I'm in NC too. One of the reasons we're homeschooling is because public school took up so much time. My son was in 1st grade this fall until thanksgiving, and he was gone for 8 hours a day (8:15-4:15); he had homework every night but Friday, it was busy work, but it took him 20-60 minutes, not including reading; he was extremely hungry and tired when he got home; and he wanted to play with his siblings and neighbor friends in the afternoons, but there was just so little time.<br><br>
Our schedule was very stressful for the whole family, I can't image adding homeschool stuff on top. We wanted him to have time to play, do martial arts class (his passion at the time), read what he was interested in, etc. - we decided we didn't have time for school. He is also above grade level, and 1st grade was a very frustrating waste of time.<br><br>
As a pp mentioned, you can your DS involved in a lot, so that he/you are busy with something all the time. Depending where in NC you live, you might be surprised at how much there is to do with other kids during the day.
 

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Actually you can have it both ways. It's called shared schooling. I think since you have had much time to yourself already, the transition will be hard.<br><br>
When you say you feel guilty is it because you are feeling guilty about wanting time for yourself? Because you feel like homeschooling is "the right thing to do" but in your heart of hearts you really don't want to?<br><br>
The way I look at homeschooling is like this. It's something I needed to do for both my children and myself. It seemed like the best and most satisfying for all of us. It feels right in my heart. That's where you need to go deep and really figure out why you want to homeschool. Academics? Keeping that love of learning? Bullies?<br><br>
What ever it is even if it's many reasons, you need to see if bringing him home will create a better or worse life for your child, and all of you. If you are going to be irritated with him and resentful because he's with you all the time than by no means should you do full time.<br><br>
My thought is his high spirit will calm if you are calm. You guys will get to know each-other all over again and that, most likely, will turn out to be a very beautiful thing..... if your heart is 100% committed.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>chrissy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7901351"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">oh, i'm talking about the same kid- both sending him to public school and then supplementing at home with a homeschool curriculum</div>
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This isn't homeschooling. You can call it tutoring, maybe, or working with your child, or some people call it afterschooling... but it's really very different from homeschooling a child.<br><br>
Dar
 

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I originally thought of doing this too and then realized that there just isn't enough time in the day.<br><br>
I agree with one of the previous posters who said that you could try to get the downtime for yourself by creating a schedule of enriching activities and maybe even picking a couple (if there is something that works particularly well) that you can do multiple times a week.<br><br>
We have an amazing gym where I live that has a daycare program with actual activities for younger kids (stories/gym games/art time, etc) and a program all the way up through the teenage years and camps, karate classes, all kinds of stuff. I realize that sort of thing might not exist everywhere, but might be worth looking into.<br><br>
Other places that might have alot of programming might be something like swimming (swim teams), gymnastics (our local gym has many classes a day and camps, etc) or karate. If you could find something your DS really liked maybe you could become more involved with that to give your weeks some rhythm and give you more downtime. Alot of those things become dropoff after a certain age. Where my daughter is doing gymnastics I can leave her if I wanted (although I think she's too young yet - not even 4).<br><br>
If you want to consider hs-ing as a viable option you have to start thinking outside of the box sort of and consider all of the possibilities and how you might feel about changing your schedule around to make it work for <i>you</i>. It might not be right for you and that's okay! But maybe it would be awesome for you too and you just have to change the way you're thinking about it. Do some reading on these boards and maybe some books and see what you think. I started with the David Guterson book and that was a great intro for me to get me out of my own head and thinking a little differently. He's a high school English teacher and writer (Snow Falling on Cedars) who decided to hs his own kids.<br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FFamily-Matters-Homeschooling-Makes-Sense%2Fdp%2F0156300001%2Fref%3Dpd_bbs_sr_3%2F002-1762463-1635210%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1177043805%26sr%3D8-3" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Family-Matters...7043805&sr=8-3</a><br><br>
HTH!
 

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My son was in ps for K, 1st, and the beginning of 2nd. Then I pulled him out to homeschool him. We're in NC as well.<br><br>
I guess there are times when I miss the "me" time, and that's ok. I do get some breaks (when he goes to his dads) and my boyfriend does a wonderful job at making sure I have time to myself (for the bookstore, pedicure, etc). He goes out everyday when the neighborhood kids get home from school. Which, incidentally, he could almost never do when he was in ps because it would take us so long to do the busy work- uh, I mean, homework they sent home. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> But, there are times when my ds and I physically stay apart from each other for a while, even while in the same house! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
All things considered, things are much easier homeschooling than when I sent him to ps. (There are a bunch of different reasons for this.) And it's gotten easier as they months have gone on.<br><br>
I'm sure many people have mastered afterschooling, which is what is sounds like you're describing. But, my ds was already in school for 8 hours a day, and then had another hour or so of homework each night. I never would have been able to put even MORE work on top of that.<br><br>
That being said, maybe you could do like a unit study type thing each month. Let him pick a topic he's interested in and study that outside the classroom. You'd be surprised how many subjects you can work into an interest! (My ds had a thing for the Hindenburg for a little bit. We got history, physics, communication, geography, spelling, and some foreign language out of it, among other things.) This may seem less stressful and less "Aw, mom, more school?" for you ds.<br><br>
This was long! Sorry! I'm speaking for how my ds felt. I wish you luck in your decision.<br><br>
BTW, I'm in Chapel Hill. Where are you?
 

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nak<br><br>
I wonder how much of his "intense" behavior is caused or magnified by having to keep your current preschool schedule. I have a dd who will be 6 in nov. If I had to help her get ready to leave for school every day by say 8:30 I would be nuts!<br><br>
just a thought
 

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I really don't think his behavior is caused by his preschool. For one thing, he has been this way his entire life. To be honest, we are very much alike. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
More later. Thanks for all the input. I do appreciate all your responses.
 

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One of the things some hsing parents I know are doing or planning on doing is to switch care, for the sake of the moms and the kids. So you would find one or so other moms who children could become friends or are friends and then one mom has them on say Monday am for a couple of hours, you would have them for a couple hours another day, etc. This way you child gets time with other kids. You get some alone time and maybe it wouldn't feel so overwelming. If you want to homeschool, there are probably groups in your area. I am also in NC, triangle area and I know of a group of parents who homeschool, who put together a small co-op, so each parent could have alone time and children could have some together time. So it can be done without spending 24 7 with your child, plus everyone needs breaks. Plus I think these things work themselves out, when homeschooling. He will want breaks from you too, even if it means just playing in his room by himself.<br><br>
Sorry so long.<br><br>
Aimee
 

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If he's already an intense little boy I would say absolutely don't "afterschool" or supplement when he comes home. He will be made to sit and follow orders most of the day and when he comes home he'll need to be free to let off some energy in whatever way he does that-playing, riding bikes, or even in not so positive ways-yelling and acting out. I just bring this up as an FYI!<br>
Or he may be really worn out from his day and want to just relax.<br><br>
It's hard to say how kids will change after they get into the school routine-but they always change in someways-some for the better and some for the worse.<br><br>
As far as dual enrollment-yes, some schools do that. You can attend for certain classes like music and art, etc and that's all. However, it's usually not done for the younger grades because the class times are not as defined as older grades when they change teachers/classes. It would be hard for them to say be here at 10am on Tues and Thurs for art because the teacher might skip art that week if they have to get some other project done. KWIM?<br>
I have heard of some alternative schools (though not many) that have kids come just a few hrs a day or 2 days a week like Montessori or self directed schools. They are targeted at homeschoolers. We have one here and I think it sounds interesting.<br><br>
I agree with the others to check your local hs groups to find out what activities or classes are available. We have hs school swim lessons thru the park and rec dept too-maybe you could look into park and rec to start some things if they don't offer it now.<br>
good luck
 

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In addition to keeping your DS busy with activities, you could also hire a babysitter to be with him a certain number of hours a week. A friend of mine hires a college student to be with her school-age children two afternoons a week so she has time alone. The college student doesn't function as a tutor, though sometimes they work on schoolwork. She mainly is a babysitter/companion for the child.
 

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Chrissy,<br><br>
I could have written your post...down to the son with the late fall birthday. Today in the yard, I was just fantasizing, maybe I could homeschool if I just had a babysitter/teacher who could come maybe 2 x a week so I could get some other things done. I really think we could homeschool but I have so much to do as it is and get little personal time. Parttime preschool has been a lifesaver for us and its hard to imagine never having a break from them. I've thought of starting a homeschool group, then we could rotate houses and the parent/teacher could do some lessons, that could give me a break.<br><br>
FWIW, I think your concerns are legitimate. I have a friend who homeschooled and is now sending her kids to a Montessori school. She said that the reason it "failed" for her was that she didn't take time for herself and ended up very burned out.<br><br>
But I agree with the other posters, the main "issue" I'm hearing from my friends with school age kids is that they have time for nothing else. A woman I was talking to at the gym said she takes the kids to school, works out, goes to her parttime job, picks the kids up at 2:30 runs home and makes sure they get their homework done for 2 hours, has dinner quickly and then heads them out the door to get them to soccer & kung fu practice. I can't imagine you could squeeze much else into that schedule! It really depressed me. She seemed so burned out she said "you think its hard now when they are little...it gets busier and harder when they are school age." That was enough to make me think that maybe being with the kids and homeschooling all day would be EASIER because it wouldn't be juggling a million things. AND we could do activities without it being too stressful. Anyway, I'm rambling, just processing my own thoughts as well.<br><br>
Glad to see some NC mamas! Where in NC are you all? I'm in Boone.
 

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As a child who went to public school and then had my mom "supplement" my education, I hesitatingly say, don't do it. The reason is although i really enjoyed what my mom offered me, I just needed to play when I got home. My work was pretty sloppy, not because I didn't care, but because I wanted my freedom and wanted to be done.<br><br>
I understand that in my area, homeschoolers can take classes at their neighborhood public school. For instance, if I wanted my son to take math and music, but skip the rest of the day, I could do that. I happen to have a son who has asperger's. While he is bright, a full day at school creates discipline issues for the school. If he takes the few classes he is really into, the school district wins because he is well behaved and they don't have to deal with discipline issues, and we win too.
 
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