Homeschooling a gifted toddler

I think Indigo child refers to what some people believe about a child's soul . . . I think there was a discussion in one of the parenting forums on that topic recently.

Anway . . my dd was a very early learner and I just played a lot of games with her, read to her, and we followed Slow and Steady Get Me Ready for some game ideas. I was worried that she would learn to write letters "wrong" but I let her write them her own way until she started formal handwriting lessons last year. Writing it the "wrong" way in no way affected her learning to write it the right way later, just to reassure you. Some kids enjoy worksheets but most kids at that age prefer hands-on things. Hi-Ho Cherry Oh! was a favorite game of hers. Uno, Candy Land. We also built things with blocks a lot, whole cities. I cut out pictures from old parenting magazines and she glued them on paper to make collages. She got into painting. Sand and water play was good. Cooking. She loved puzzles, especially the giant floor puzzles because they are easier to handle.

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A two-year-old being bored? I would wager that he's either (a) not getting enough practice at initiating and sustaining his own activities i.e. solving his own boredom (b) not getting enough active time, especially out-of-doors (c) getting too much screen-time or (d) needing more social interaction than he's getting. I've parented 4 kids through this age, all of them likely gifted, and I've never "worked on" academics or pre-academics ... and the only times they've been bored are when we've been housebound, when they've had a run of TV days or after the doting grandparents have been visiting and amusing them endlessly.

I have a newly-3yo who is reading a bit and loves writing letters and playing around with numbers and number-patterns. We don't work on these things... she just tells me things or asks me things and they're part of our conversation in the course of daily life. These days she is most interested in watercolor painting, which she often does for hours on end, tricycling, doing puzzles, gardening and learning to play the violin (like her older siblings). For social things, she loves being read to and playing board games. She also loves to cook and hike. Right now she's just finished playing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" on the piano and is trying to play another piece by ear. I can't imagine a child this age being bored myself, but then again, maybe I've just been lucky with my four.

Miranda

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Both my kids are 'advanced'. There is a good chance they may be identified as 'gifted' down the road. We'll cross that bridge if we come to it.

One thing I've found... they don't get bored.

Where are his interests? Explore those.
What things has he not been exposed to? Explore those.

Is there an interest in art yet? Playdoh, watercolors, paint, crayons, stencils, etc.

AN interest in science? messy science projects

How about puzzles? tangrams?

Music? xylophone, harmonica, maracas

fine motor skills? sand/water table, cutting, tracing...

Life skills? Can he make his own snacks? Breakfast? Can he pour his own drink from a container to a cup? Can he scoop from one dish to another?

Besides toys, we have an art area, and an area that contains montessori-ish 'toys'. Items the girls can take down whenever.

HTH.

Tammy

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Ok, I agree with Miranda. I have two boys that are likely gifted, one of whom also wrote at early 2. We didn't do academics together; they just kind of took off, so I'm coming at this from a different perspective perhaps. I think it's really important that they learn to initiate and sustain activities at this age, as she said, if possible. I'm recovering from illness today so I'm not so coherent, I think. I'm having a hard time putting into words why I think it's important. But I think it is. With my oldest, his interests naturally went with being highly sedentary (also an early computer user) and I regret not giving him more active time outdoors. He ended up with some gross motor delays for a while there.

I get a lot of joy out of watching my kids play together. They spend hours and hours doing imaginary play. It's self-directed and as crazy as they want it to be. It's *very* stimulating to the brain. Being outdoors is great too. You might be doing these things, so I don't mean to assume or sound patronizing. But I think you should enable him to solve his own boredom. I wouldn't take away anything that he loves, but I would not so proactively try to entertain him. To help with this, check your environment and maybe slowly be busy doing other stuff so that he either has the option of working along side you (e.g. dusting) or playing with his stuff.

If he's writing, then I'm sure he must have great fine motor skills. Here are some toys that my boys loved at this age, most of which require a high degree of fine motor skills (but not all):

--choking hazards--

1. jigsaw puzzles (we, personally, prefer regular jigsaws to floor puzzles b/c floor puzzles are awkward to piece together based on huge size).

2. paper and crayons/pens/pencils/markers/watercolors

3. pattern blocks (You can get puzzle sheets for them, but they are just as fun alone)

4. connecting math rods (free play)

5. Duplo and Lego

6. K'Nex (you can get the Kid K'nex or the regular ones. I think the Kid K'nex are harder to snap together because they are so big, but the tiny ones require a lot of finger strength)

7. calculators (free play)

8. imaginary play props (cash register, dress-up clothes, paper-towel rolls, etc).

I can't remember if you mentioned Montessori in your post, but you might be interested in some of their stuff. We unschool, but I have set up a simple Montessori bean activity a few times for my boys. It's so simple that it seems like it would be dull, or so I thought. There are two bowls, one empty and one with dried beans. There is a spoon nearby. My kids sat for an hour once just spooning the beans back and forth (they were 1 and 4). If you wanted to set up an activity for him daily, Montessori might be a fun thing. You'd still be setting something up for him, but at the same time, the activity is self-directed.

If I felt better, I'd probably have more to say. I'm sorry this is all over the place. Good luck!

A few more thoughts.

a) forgot to mention construction toys...the girls love them

b) One of the previous posters mentions a strong point... that they can self-start their own activities. While some of that is temperment, some of it isn't.

c) as much outdoor play as possible.

d) While they don't get 'bored', I have seen we occasionally get cabin fever or get in a rut. When that happens I do a few things to shake things up...

- go out of the house... sometimes we hit the store, the mall just b/c I need the girls out of the house.... museums, zoo, nature walks...

- make something.... my dd just got a new bag of multi-colored homemade playdoh, after a playdate last week.... she was sooooo excited, and played with it for FOUR hours. Now, some of that is her temperment, my youngest wouldn't play with it for that long, b/c she is younger and that isn't where her interest is....but something knew excites her. For example, try talking a 1/2 cp of cornstarch and slowly adding a teaspoon at a time of water too it. I forget whether you will need a 1/4 cp of water or 1 cp, but just keep adding the water. Eventually you get this substance that is a solid and liquid at the same time. Very cool.

- buy something.... while i generally only like getting new toys around bdays, and christmas, there are times I do make small exceptions....

- pretend play... we've done indoor safaris, made tropical islands for the kids to play on, etc.

Tammy

about boredom, I have a few thoughts
playgroups,
mom and me music class,
library storytimes
zoos,
stores,
chores,
parks

my kids don't come to me looking for things to do. they play with eachtoher, they get out their own toys and snacks, everything safe for them is acessible, everything unsafe is put away, and they know I'm here for them but will never be their prime entertainment.
that's what their interests, toys, books, yard, and siblings are for!
I know I probably value independance and self-teaching more than average. but that's my take.

2.5 years old? Enjoy your lovely toddler! Whether he's gifted or not is of no consequence to you right now, trust me, my kids are growing up way too fast, and this is your golden time- just play with him a child who's bright and enregetic usually loves a variety of activities- and learning is everywhere! I think little ones are growing so fast, and can grasp such amazing things,it truly is mindboggling when you really see their intelligent selves beginning to emerge, and any proud parents would be thrilled to see this in their child. Lucky you, you have an amazing journey ahead of you.
I agree with all you experienced moms about the boredom factor! I think as parents it's important to help facilitate our kids in whatever interests they have, personally, i never think much about how 'gifted' or not my own kids may be, b/c I try not to compare them to anyone else.... sometimes when we parents decide our child is "gifted" or 'slower" we could ,without meaning to, assign charcteristics or values to our kids way of moving through life,and unintentionally hinder their actual development.
I don't say you have in particular done this, but I have a 13 year old and a 6 year old, and multiple younger siblings whom I helped raise- with my 1st child I mistakenly assumed that b/c he was so quick in certain areas, he'd be like that all around, and that it would continue like that for his whole life. I was wrong, and I've since discovered that for me, I don't care how"ahead" or "behind" my kids appear to others, I just go along at their paces with them. Then there's no fear of boredom, b/c they're basically teling me what they're ready to handle, and what might be better off waiting a while for.
BTW, i'm not "anti-smart" ... just don't believe that labeling our kids or ourselves is truly beneficial for growth... but understanding who our kids are,and going with it really is.

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You just reaffirmed my belief that unschooling is absolutely the best way for our children to achieve their goals at every stage!! Thanks for such a great description of how it works with your 3 year old.

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I enjoyed reading your post, but I just wanted to make a comment here, if that's Ok.

Sometimes, one's child stands out so much that it's impossible to not notice it (not just talking about giftedness, but lots of deviations from the norm like SID). This was my experience with my oldest. It wasn't just the things he did that were advanced, but it was just in the way he seemed to perceive things and the extreme degree in some cases that he did so. Like the OP, he was my first, so I think I was a bit overwhelmed by it. I was a bit alarmed, to be honest. Even if I could try not to notice how he stuck out like a sore thumb in peer groups, other parents made comments (some nice, some overly complimentary and embarrassing, some shocked, some really snarky/competitive). I was told by a few people that I shouldn't be thinking about the word "gifted" b/c it meant I was comparing children and I felt guilty at the time, but honestly, we all notice if our kid is really, really different. It's impossible not to subconsciously notice differences. And sometimes the differences cause a bit of alarm.

But I agree with you that some can become too invested in the idea of a gifted child in the academic sense. It's important to see that giftedness is just one part of the child, not what makes him, just like a child with Asperger's is not just an Asperger's child, but a whole child who has Asperger's. I think (?) or I hope that most parents of gifted children pull this off, that they use the label to help their child cope rather than wearing it as a badge or hemming the child in. I know that, for me, I had lots of days where I just wanted my oldest to be "normal" and where I really felt unsupported in the challenges I had in parenting him. Of course, not all gifted children have the same issues. Like, my oldest is ultra-sensitive, both physically and emotionally. My youngest, OTOH, blends in and copes well with things; he just does a few things that occasionally startle us.

So, I really felt what you had to say and that it was kind. But, I wanted to also say that it's not easy (or even possible) to not compare one's child against the norm and to not notice that he is very different. And I'm not even sure that is useful sometimes. I guess I can relate to the OP in that, with my first, I was really taken aback by things he did and I felt like, "Oh crap, what am I supposed to do with him?" FWIW, I don't work with my kids and I don't have specific expectations of them. I mean, I would like them to be open-minded people who like reading and learning. But if they chose not to go to university, for example, that would be fine with me. But even so, the giftedness possibility is really hard to deny and it does affect them in other areas of their life. So, for me, it was helpful to identify what "it" was and then I was able to gather my resources to help them navigate life.

HTH!

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very well put- i couldn't agree more- thanks so much for understanding what I had to say wasn't mean spirited - I understand what you're saying- that comparing just happens , and understanding each child,and what makes them special, is each parents gift(and challenge)
You put it so MUCH better than I did!

My 3 year old seems gifted to me, it's more her perception than anything that seems advanced. Anyway, when we get board, here are a few fun suggestions for activities we have done, or plan to do.

Get a CD of silly songs, you know, the ones w/ all of the hand motions. Those are SO much fun!

We are doing a garden this year

Art stuff is a favorite around here, but I try to only do it if the baby is sleeping. For some reason, if it includes glue, it's a big hit! You can find TONS of preschooley art projects on-line.

Those are just a few things I thought of quickly. One thing I just did recently was to get a teachers planning book, and I wrote out "plans" for certain topics, letters, ect. b/c I seem to be able to find good ideas, but I needed a way to get them organized, so that we could work within a theme. I used the Handwriting Without Tears Preschool book for a basis, sort of, and went from there, starting with the first letter "L" and I picked a number 2 just for fun, I tried to think of lots of different activities that had to do w/ teh letter L, and the number two. I grouped them into the following categories: Color sheets and crafts (making Lion or Lamb masks, ect), books to read (anything w/ either 2 or the letter L), Songs and Finger plays, snack or lunch ideas, activities (be a lion, lamb, count how many of each body part, ect.).

Okay, some of you probably find that strange that I would do that for a 3 year old, but it honestly helped me to focus. I don't want it to ever feel like "school" for a 3 year old, but I do think she needs some fun activities, and I have a hard time coming up with them, not to mention having all of the stuff ready for an activity durring the day. After the moment has passed, I think of a fun song that would have gone along great, now I have a list ready.

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Interesting how our experiences as kids shapes how we view things now...I too remember being put under a microscope an awful lot as a little kid between the 1st and 3rd grades- lots and lots of testing, to this day,I still don't know why it was done, or why my I.Q. score should have been important- I know I was reading full size novels at 3 1/2 -4 years old, everyone thought it was so remarkable, what no one seemed to know,and I told my parents years later as an adult, my older sister taught me to read,and she was exactly 1 year older, so she was all of 4-5 years old.
After the 3rd grade, they stopped"bothering" me, b/c I had learned enough to mentally withdraw from all school activites,and I was no longer interested in any of it-
I think the Op posed a good question for all parents of alert bright toddlers and kids everywhere- How to best handle her childs very individual wants and needs.

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I'm so sorry Zen- I'll stop chattering-now to your original question, I think some basic Montessori stuff is lots of fun for kids- what i liked best about it was the home centered learning activities that engaged kids/mom- like learning to pour games which helped reinforce the learning to read from one side of the page to the other- though we basically unschool, I did a lot of that stuff with my little guy when he was younger just b/c it was fun !
Also I love the "feel the letters" concept, the beans activity and just plain washing the dishes fun! My library has lots of books on Montessori

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I just went back and read the original post and I wonder if I misinterpreted when I responded above, if perhaps the child is not bored in general, but bored with the "homeschooling" that he has been "working on" with his mom.

If so I'd suggest that this is likely due to the fact that the structure and content is not suited to him and his current developmental level and/or personality. Maybe, like one of my kids, despite having all sorts of advanced pre-reading skills, literacy is not in the cards for him at age 2 or 3 -- other things are, and reading will suddenly click for him at age 6. Maybe his boredom is his way of telling you that taking this to the next level is something his brain is not ready for, and that what he really needs to be pouring his energy into right now is something else. Maybe his boredom is his way of telling you you're going about it all wrong. I once had a three-year-old daughter who seemed bored, even resistant, with letter-games and puzzles and reading aloud. All she wanted to do was sit around for hours on end, day after day, week after week, flipping through the 800-page Sears catalog. It turned out she was learning to read. It was a stranger path to literacy than I could ever have imagined, but there it was -- she was privately cracking the code, making inferences, using context, noticing patterns, with no one helping, no one judging, no one organizing things, leading her along, no one cheering her on or structuring things for her. Just the way she wanted -- but nowhere close to how I would have guided her.

Zenenlighted, if this is what you meant in your original post, I'd suggest dropping the structured learning for a few weeks and concentrating instead on observing your son closely for the natural learning interests he has. Strew things in his path, but step in to structure only once you are certain he has unmet needs for structure.

Miranda