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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Are any of you homeschooling a spirited child? DD is 6 and very "spirited" and some days I'm just exhausted! My MIL tells me that DH was also like this as a child and she has no idea how I homeschool.


Most days are great, but I have moments when I question whether or not I'm doing the right thing (like when I lose my patience with her after yet another battle).

Are any of you in the same boat? How do you keep your sanity?
 

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my eldest is definitely spirited
we do enthusiasm led learning (not quite unschooling but close
) and it works for us... but I really avoid battles by giving lots of freedom... when I tried to be more structured in the beginning it did not work! Howvere, I am sure I am doing the "right" thing because we tried school for a few months in K and it was clearly a bad fit for our spirited ds and it was a HUGE strain on the whole family... dealing with the teachers and frequent incidents because he was bored all the time etc... I try to remember that on my harder days... What worked for us was focussing on making learning fun and following our ds's interests... AND scheduling lots of active time! I also becamne aware of myt ds's learning focussed times and take advantage of those which tends to be in the evening after 8pm not a typical learning time... anyways hang in there! you can do it
 

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Subbing... both of my kids are spirited. So far we are doing homeschool preschool with my oldest one. It's only been the third wk, but I'm already realizing that trying to go with a curriculum and any sort of structure (oak meadow K) is proving to be quite a challenge. I've already switched into relaxed mode and having to make everything a game. In fact one reason why I looked into HSing was b/c I knew that as a spirited child, my oldest son would probably deal with a lot of problems in a traditional school setting. Anyway, I have no advice, but I can offer sympathy and I am eager to hear what other mamas have to say too.
 

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i consider my oldest to be spirited and i am homeschooling him this year for kindergarten. it's going okay. i am finding that he loves doing work that he already knows how to do but gets *very* frustrated with anything he can't do perfectly right away. sigh. i hate to be a total downer, but i really don't know how i am going to do this.
 

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Yeah, we have a spirited one here. My 7 yr old drives me bonkers sometimes. But I know she wouldn't last in public school. But sometimes it's a battle and I get so tired of fighting it. Sometimes I don't fight it and we just take the day off of school. We don't follow a set curriculum, except for math, and that is more because I need it, not that she does.

Crystal
 

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oops I was logged onto my friends computer... so this is gr8fulmom not niki_73 (soory Niki
)

well what are you "battling" over? I know it can be trying just tthe amount of energy per day to interact with a spirited child... but IME it was more energy to have him in school and deal with the fallout, although the energy required was concentrated into smaller bursts it was definitely more total! are you try to get them to "do" things and that's where there are battles?
 

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I am a single mama homeschooling TWO spirited kiddos, lol. Life at our house is always ... *interesting*. I have days when I think the younger is more spirited and days when i think the older is. We battle over lots of stuff unfortunately, like how much is too much super mario brothers (the 3 1/2 yo and I have have very different ideas on that issue, lol) and tv and other random things.
 

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I am a single mama homeschooling TWO spirited kiddos, lol. Life at our house is always ... *interesting*. I have days when I think the younger is more spirited and days when i think the older is. We battle over lots of stuff unfortunately, like how much is too much super mario brothers (the 3 1/2 yo and I have have very different ideas on that issue, lol) and tv and other random things.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by gr8fulmom View Post
... but IME it was more energy to have him in school and deal with the fallout, although the energy required was concentrated into smaller bursts it was definitely more total! are you try to get them to "do" things and that's where there are battles?
Yes, this is very true!! My 8 yo spirited ds is in school now and his behavior is so much more intense than it was homeschooling him! He behaves perfectly in school all day and then comes home where he has one meltdown after another; the slightest thing has him off crying and tantruming (is that a word?). I spend my whole day bracing myself for when he comes home. I really don't think it's easier at all...
 

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Yes! Even her fabulous nursery school with a 1:1 ratio was more difficult in different ways than homeschooling, however we've certainly had our moments ... PreK was a lot more stressful, too, although it was also a great fit for her (the 2nd half of last year in public school; the 1st half of the year in a private school was NOT a good fit for her)
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
I'm so glad I'm not alone!


Some of the things that I struggle with are her overall energy (she's an extrovert
, I'm an introvert
: ) and her persistence.

An example would be her asking to watch a movie and me telling her no (I try to limit tv to a movie or two a week) and her asking why (she knows why, it's been the same reason for years!) and continuing to try and negotiate a movie until I lose my patience sometimes and raise my voice out of frustration.

I feel like I do too much yelling sometimes.
: My biggest concern is my lack of patience. I don't want my reactions to her to affect her negatively, KWIM?

We use Oak Meadow and she LOVES it! I find if we stay on schedule throughout our day and we get to work on her lessons she has a better day overall. It's not so much a struggle with her wanting to sit down and do any work, it's more like me finding the energy to keep up with her and give her what she needs.

I know in my heart that homeschooling is what is best for our family and I feel so blessed to be able to do this, but I have moments where I just want some peace and quiet and a child that says, "ok, mom!" for just one day!
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by mom2kbeth View Post
I am a single mama homeschooling TWO spirited kiddos, lol. Life at our house is always ... *interesting*. I have days when I think the younger is more spirited and days when i think the older is.

I'm afraid of this! I'm reading, "Raising Your Spirited Child," and DS who is just 13.5 months has definitely been exhibiting some of the "spirited" traits listed in the book. My MIL promised me my next one (DS) would be the "calm" child!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by homeschoolmama View Post
I'm so glad I'm not alone!


Some of the things that I struggle with are her overall energy (she's an extrovert
, I'm an introvert
: ) and her persistence.

An example would be her asking to watch a movie and me telling her no (I try to limit tv to a movie or two a week) and her asking why (she knows why, it's been the same reason for years!) and continuing to try and negotiate a movie until I lose my patience sometimes and raise my voice out of frustration.

I feel like I do too much yelling sometimes.
: My biggest concern is my lack of patience. I don't want my reactions to her to affect her negatively, KWIM?

We use Oak Meadow and she LOVES it! I find if we stay on schedule throughout our day and we get to work on her lessons she has a better day overall. It's not so much a struggle with her wanting to sit down and do any work, it's more like me finding the energy to keep up with her and give her what she needs.

I know in my heart that homeschooling is what is best for our family and I feel so blessed to be able to do this, but I have moments where I just want some peace and quiet and a child that says, "ok, mom!" for just one day!

this reminds me soooooo much of noah. right now he is on a playmobil.com kick. he is *obsessed* with this website, working on his wishlist and planning all the stuff he will do once he gets it all (dream on, kid!). i've been letting him do it for 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the afternoon but he just bugs me the rest of the day to do it more. sigh. maybe i should take a more unschooling/consensual approach to the whole thing and just let him do it to his hearts content and let it fizzle out on its own. hmmm, maybe i'll try that tomorrow.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by chrissy View Post
this reminds me soooooo much of noah. right now he is on a playmobil.com kick. he is *obsessed* with this website, working on his wishlist and planning all the stuff he will do once he gets it all (dream on, kid!). i've been letting him do it for 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the afternoon but he just bugs me the rest of the day to do it more. sigh. maybe i should take a more unschooling/consensual approach to the whole thing and just let him do it to his hearts content and let it fizzle out on its own. hmmm, maybe i'll try that tomorrow.
Good luck! I tried that with DD and movies recently. I let her watch movies all day and when I was finally trying to pull her away to come eat dinner she was still complaining and begging for me to just bring the food to her so she could keep watching!
:
That was the last time I'm trying that theory.
 

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Homeschoolmama & ManiacMama: Living with the Active Alert Child by Linda Budd - saved us! Our DD 7yr is "spirited" and Active Alert. Finally - someone who has an older child "tantruming"!! If it isn't a word - it should be!! GD says tantrums are "sneezes" and kids that have them, need them. Now I think they are talking about toddlers - what about the older child? Transitions are hard for her, just started public school second grade, so we're hoping she will settle down soon. Have thought of homeschooling, though that would be a major transition. The Active Alert book helped us know where she was going so we could head her off. ManiacMama - our DD is doing the same thing. Everyone tells us how kind she is to everyone and then she gets home and W-O-W!!! She started this about 6 weeks before school let out in June. Have since found that if she eats about every 2 hours - mostly organic and natural snacks - she is more able to control herself. Does your DS have trouble falling asleep? I am relatively new to this, but there is a thread just started on Spirited/Active Alert Kids. I'm finding it hard to get back to threads I've posted to.
 

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I decided to homeschool long ago, before dd1's personality was evident. And now I'm very glad we made that decision.

I just don't get into battles with her about her education. If we're working on something, and she gets whiny about it, we stop. We do something else; we have a snack, read a book, go run an errand, whatever. I never say things like, "just one more page..." Learning like that is less efficient, and I think it will do more harm than good in terms of attitude, for my dd1.

There are So many hours in a day, and days in a year, that as homeschoolers, we really CAN let it follow her moods.

We do have "battles" in other areas, and it seems to go in phases (I imagine that there are other factors contributing, which I don't always pick up on).

But the thing is, even if we are having a battle phase, I'm sure it would only be intensified by the pressures of a traditional school schedule. There's so much more to struggle over, and so much less time to do it!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by homeschoolmama View Post
Are any of you homeschooling a spirited child? DD is 6 and very "spirited" and some days I'm just exhausted! My MIL tells me that DH was also like this as a child and she has no idea how I homeschool.


Most days are great, but I have moments when I question whether or not I'm doing the right thing (like when I lose my patience with her after yet another battle).

Are any of you in the same boat? How do you keep your sanity?

I tell my son when I have run out of patience. He is so cute. He says, "Here Mama, I'll give you some of mine." Then he points his index finger at my arm and makes a humming noise as his patience drains into my arm. So cute, but yes, he can be so trying.

His high energy needs is part of the reason I homeschool. Public School would be medicating him in a week to get him to sit down and shut up. I don't want his energy to be drugged out of him.

Kathi
 
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