Mothering Forum banner

honeymoon with baby? opinions...

940 Views 19 Replies 18 Participants Last post by  letniaLynne
hey guys... i'm in an atypical situation. my live-in partner (of more than five years) and i got pregnant while we were engaged, so we postponed our wedding. our daughter was born in january and will be about nine months old when we get married in september. she's rarely away from one of us (he runs a small home business, and i am a student who's place of work just permanently closed while i was on maternity leave), and is practically never away from both of us. but we are planning a honeymoon. at nine months, will i be able to pump for three to five days without affecting my milk supply? how much milk will she be taking, assuming she has been introduced to a handful of other foods between six and nine moths? i want to nurse her for at least a year or two, so i don't want to do anything that will compromise our ability to continue. however, i do want to at least explore the option of having a baby-free honeymoon. what do you think? what are my options? in my dream world, i can fly around the world with my baby and a trustworthy nanny who will swoop in and take the baby for a stroll whenever i'm feeling frisky, but always bring her back to me to nurse and nap...
1 - 20 of 20 Posts
I was away from my baby for 2 nights and, even with frequent pumping (I never went more than 3 hours, even through the night) I ended up with horribly painful plugged ducts. I don't know if you're prone to those, but not being able to nurse definitely exacerbated my issues.

As for how often a 9mo nurses, my DD has nursed every 3 hours since she was born until now (she's almost a year old) -- even with solids being introduced at 6 months, her nursing never decreased in frequency, so I'd plan on having enough milk stored to feed your DD as much as you do now, just to be safe.

Congrats on the baby and the upcoming wedding! I'm sure you'll find a way to make it all work out -- having a nanny (or family member, who might do it "unpaid" except for the free vacation) travel with you would be great if you can swing it!
See less See more
I second the idea of having a family member come as 'nanny'.

Or, most resorts have child care on site, so maybe this would be an option.

Personally, I wouldn't be able to leave my ds for that long, I would miss him too much and wouldn't be able to enjoy the trip.
oh, gillian28, your ds was born the day after my dd!
i am worried that i would miss dd too much to fully enjoy the trip, and i had thought that i would just take her with me. but people keep bringing up things i hadn't considered about what a tropical vacation with a baby would be like- and now i'm starting to wonder if i should consider the option of leaving her with grandma and nana (who would be thrilled, believe me- the grandmas can't wait for weaning, and everytime i tell them it will be a long, long time before dd can come on extended visits they get all crestfallen). but with our nursing relationship, i'm not sure if it is advisable or practical to leave her that long.
See less See more
DD is 9mo and still nurses every 2 hours around the clock - I haven't even left her to go out to dinner yet! I'd see if you can bring nana with you - trust me, it will be hard to leave her.
We took our DD with us and I have no regrets. We decided to have a private second honeymoon when we are done having babies and they can be left with someone with out jepordizing our BFing relationship. Our DD was 6 months at the time and we had our fun when she was asleep. We had fun as a family, sight seeing and going to restaurants.
No way I would risk it for a voluntary vacation. 9 months is very young to leave for that long. Take her with you or postpone. JMO.
I think you can take her if you want but it isn't essential to preserve your nursing relationship. 3-5 days isn't really very long. It would probably be a good idea to bring a portable breast pump with you to ease your discomfort when you become engorged and to ease your mind about your supply. As for your baby, at 9 months she'll probably be eating other foods as well so leave as much breast milk as you can manage to amass ahead of time and if they run out they'll feed her other food, or water, or formula. A couple of bottles of formula in a nursing relationship that has been established for nine months should be fine.

At the beginning nursing can feel very fragile but it's surprisingly resilient. I had trouble nursing and keeping my supply up but was surprised to find that months after my daughter weaned I still occasionally had milk. I still do sometimes, 2 years later.

You need to nurture your relationship with your husband too, especially in the notoriously difficult first year after baby. Fathers sometimes feel left out of the intense mutual relationship that mothers and infants have together and a few days of undivided attention could be a lovely way to mark the beginning of your new commitment to one another.

You could also have a lovely trip with your baby along, it's not a bad option. As other people have mentioned you may find at nine months that you're not ready to be separated from her. But I think if you want to you can enjoy 3-5 days away and everyone will be fine.
See less See more

Originally Posted by FullMetalMom View Post
No way I would risk it for a voluntary vacation. 9 months is very young to leave for that long. Take her with you or postpone. JMO.
I will agree with you. Frankly were I so concerned about a baby-free honeymoon, I would have gotten married before having the baby. I don't even like to be away from my seven-year-old for three days; I can't imagine wanting to leave an infant for that long.
See less See more
I have to say op, I hear you. My dd will be about 6 months in a few weeks and we'll be going on our honeymoon then. I was originally against a honeymoon, since I didn't want to travel without DD. My parents told us that they wanted us to go and then paid for a place, plane fare, and rental car. Even hooked us up with some extended family who will watch DD for a day so we can have some time at Disney... sure, Disney...

Anyway, I don't like leaving DD for work, so I knew I personally couldn't go sans babe. Is it possible to go sans baby? Sure. Necessary? IMO, no, not for us. HTH. Congrats.
See less See more
What about just going to a hotel or small bed and breakfast close by for a night or 2? Like a minimoon, and then plan a real honeymoon on your 2 year anniversary or something?
can you just bring nana with you? get her a separate room and let her do a lot of babysitting for you?

personally i would not leave a 9 month old for that long. even if the baby does fine and you leave plenty of pumped milk and all that, your boobs will likely not be so comfortable. at least for me, i never responded to a pump that well, and if i missed that many feedings, even with pumping, i would've had plugged ducts, probably mastitis, and a lowered supply.

which i might add would not make for a sexy honeymoon!

so i actually think it will be better for you, your baby, AND your sexy honeymoon if you bring baby with you--and someone to help out.
See less See more
I left DD for 2-3 days at that age. I brought my pump and pumped every 3 hours. I woke up painful in the mornings.

But it was a necessary recharge to my relationship. I'm glad we had the chance to get away together.

We're still nursing at 2.5 years.

If you're having doubts, what about postponing your honeymoon another 6-8 months. That might give you another thing to plan/look forward to, too!
we're taking our honeymoon when DS2 will be 4 months old. he's coming along with us! we postponed any european or tropical vacations for a time when our kids don't need us as much. instead, we're going to stay at an awesome B&B with things like a personal hot tub overlooking the ocean, massages on site, and other amenities like that which will allow us to feel pampered and like we're on vacation but the baby can hang out too.

DS1 will be 8 years old at the time and i worry about leaving HIM for that long! it would be too hard to leave a baby.
my LO is 9 months right now, he nurses about every 4 hours but can go longer if he eats alot of solids. Sometimes he just likes what I give him to eat and gorges himself - he can generally go about 6 hrs then - but this is rare. Every LO is different - so you will just have to see where yours is at that time to know how much milk they will need.

Make sure you have a good electric double pump and use it as often as LO would eat and maybe even more. The pump will not be as good as your LO is emptying you but if you do it as often or more than your LO does it will at least keep your milk going. There is no telling how your supply will be effected but you won't dry up as long as you are pumping.

I think that it's important to have time for your relationship - if you can afford to have someone come with you and be "nanny" that is great, as a pp said most resorts have child care offered (but I don't know the cost) and would you feel comfy and relaxed while someone you don't know takes care of LO? Personally, I don't know if I could do it.
See less See more

Originally Posted by Lydiah View Post
We decided to have a private second honeymoon when we are done having babies and they can be left with someone with out jepordizing our BFing relationship.
I think this is what I would do.. take LO with me, and plan to have a kid-less honeymoon in a few years when the LO is old enough to be at G'mas for the weekend.
See less See more
thanks, guys. you've given me some good thoughts to consider. i think i'll sit down with my man and talk about our options, and then we'll make a decision... although dd is, of course, the most important person in the world to me.-
I'd bring DD and a family member to watch her. A few months ago we went on holiday, to a place we call paradise, were we've gone several times before DD was born. It is a lovely little hotel, with rooms in individual buildings, an almost tropical feeling in their lovely gardens, an excellent restaurant, very quiet and relaxing but families very welcome. My parents came along. It was great! They could play with her in the sandpit, visit the horse in the orchard, take her to the beach, and whenever DD wanted a feed, return her to me! We all had a wonderful holiday!
honestly if you cant take her i would change your plans.

i dont really think your trip will affect your bfeeding connection.

however it wont surprise me that you might be miserable. mainly coz of the age. if she was going to be 6 months or even 15 months i wouldnt stress this so much. but between 8 and 10 months is a huge growth spurt. they start doing all sorts of things. signs. pointing. clapping, talking, crawling, pulling up, walking. it is a magical time and i would never separate around that time. even if it was for just 3 to 5 days. now if you werent superglued to your child to watch every new thing like i was, then i wouldnt think twice about going.

if you do decide to leave her with family make sure she has already gotten used to spending the night with them. so its not that much of a change.
See less See more
I would wait a few years and go alone or bring a nanny. No one can tell you it will not harm your nursing relationship, No one! It is such an individual thing that only you and your baby have together, each mama baby pair is different. Some babies will happily go back to nursing at any age after being away from the breast for days and some will put up a HUGE fuss and then go back and finally some will never go back. It just depends on you and your baby. After going through a nursing strike first hand which lasted for months until she finally took to bfing happily I would not chance it for anything!
1 - 20 of 20 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.