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<p><span style="color:rgb(128,0,128);">This thread is for women who wish to conceive after a loss and need support, hope and healing. If you wish to be added to the thread or want to modify your info please make requests in bold. Fertility Friend Charts - Let me know if you want your chart added to the list. If you do, just post the link and add the icon in your post so I don’t miss anyone</span>.</p>
<p> </p>
<h3><strong><span style="color:rgb(0,128,128);">Bring on the babies!!</span></strong></h3>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;"><strong>Waiting to O:</strong></span></p>
<p>SilaMarila    <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/SilaMarila" target="_blank"><span><img alt="chartnew.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif" style=""></span></a></p>
<p>KirstenO      <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3a931b" target="_blank"><span><img alt="chartnew.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1330518422875_156" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif" style="width:43px;height:18px;"></span></a></p>
<p>deportivo</p>
<p>lydiah           <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/282068" target="_blank"><span id="user_yui_3_4_1_21_1322743201895_33"><img alt="chartnew.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_7_1322743201895_432" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif" style="width:43px;height:18px;"></span></a></p>
<p>Manna         <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/MAnna" target="_blank"><span><img alt="chartnew.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_7_1325131752187_160" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif" style="width:43px;height:18px;"></span></a></p>
<p>Erin121        <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/380e53" target="_blank"><span><img alt="chartnew.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328998864676_160" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif" style="width:43px;height:18px;"></span></a></p>
<p>KodyAnn       <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/9e808/" target="_blank"><img alt="BFPChart2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/BFPChart2.gif" style=""></a></p>
<p>Attached2Elijah  <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/ee041" target="_blank"><span><img alt="chartnew.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328998864676_294" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif" style="width:43px;height:18px;"></span></a></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;"><strong>Waiting to know:</strong></span></p>
<p>MamaButterfly  <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/352d9a" target="_blank"><span><img alt="chartnew.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1330284279041_156" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif" style="width:43px;height:18px;"></span></a></p>
<p>.RoseRedHoofbeats</p>
<p>Xerxella        <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/21b89c" target="_blank"><span><img alt="chartnew.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif" style=""></span></a></p>
<p>stegenrae     <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2acefb/" target="_blank"><span><img alt="chartnew.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328067283650_156" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif" style="width:43px;height:18px;"></span></a></p>
<p>thecoffeebean  <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/26c5e0" target="_blank"><span><img alt="chartnew.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1329685250671_156" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif" style="width:43px;height:18px;"></span></a></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;"><strong>Oh Crap!  I Don't Know What I'm Doing??!!?!??!?!?</strong></span></p>
<p>Milk8shake</p>
<p>writinglove</p>
<p>.foxadillo</p>
<p>RaineyDaye</p>
<p>.Jello Panda  <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/JelloPanda" target="_blank"><img alt="BFPChart2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/BFPChart2.gif" style=""></a></p>
<p>Harmony96   <a href="http://www.tcoyf.com/members/harmony96/pccharts/40.aspx" target="_blank"><span><img alt="chartnew.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1329165914303_163" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif"></span></a></p>
<p>.Jennifer5fire</p>
<p>Lisanne</p>
<p>mellybelly</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;"><strong>Recent BFP's! </strong></span></p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">February</span> - MegEliz, Gemmine, Wendlynnn   <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2b21ff" target="_blank"><span><img alt="chartnew.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328043833832_163" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif"></span></a></p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">January</span> - Nelson, Vegan Princess, zubeldia</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">December</span> -calebsmommy, coffeebean <span><img alt="angel1.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328034813490_179" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/angel1.gif"></span>, Asling <span style="text-decoration:underline;"><span id="user_yui_3_4_1_21_1324304125546_9"><img alt="angel1.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_7_1324304125546_157" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/angel1.gif" style="width:38px;height:15px;"></span></span></p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">November</span> - maxnmaizy, diana_of_the_dunes, cygknit, thebyr, IzzsMom </p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">October</span> - 3surfboys</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;">September</span> - Callieollie, coffeebean <span id="user_yui_3_4_1_21_1322767256348_35"><img alt="angel1.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_7_1322767256348_161" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/angel1.gif" style="width:38px;height:15px;"></span>, norabella, TandN, khylie2011, Corgimommy, Zubeldia <span id="user_yui_3_4_1_21_1322684632254_33"><img alt="angel1.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_7_1322684632254_167" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/angel1.gif" style="width:38px;height:15px;"></span>, MAnna <span id="user_yui_3_4_1_21_1322794085390_10"><img alt="angel1.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_7_1322794085390_156" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/angel1.gif" style="width:38px;height:15px;"></span>, Slshoe128, thecountrymouse, RaineyDaye <span id="user_yui_3_4_1_21_1322743201895_21"><img alt="angel1.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_7_1322743201895_165" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/angel1.gif" style="width:38px;height:15px;"></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;"><strong>In our thoughts:</strong></span></p>
<p>Yellow Butterfly</p>
<p>lollie2357</p>
<p>Asling <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/33c98a" target="_blank"><span id="user_yui_3_4_1_21_1323277143176_9"><img alt="chartnew.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_7_1323277143176_155" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/chartnew.gif" style="width:43px;height:18px;"></span></a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>*In an effort to keep our header as up-to-date as possible, the threadkeeper reserves the right to move you to "In our thoughts" from "Waiting to O" and "Waiting to know" if you have not posted in this thread or in the previous thread. The threadkeeper may remove your name from the list if you have not posted to the thread within the previous three months. You are always welcome to rejoin the thread at any time.</p>
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<p>I think it's straight although we need Wendy's chart link put up and Nelson is no longer "waiting to know".</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thanks, X!!! <span><img alt="flowersforyou.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328043135117_161" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/flowersforyou.gif"></span></p>
 

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<p>Would you put me under Waiting to be Ready? Thank you for the name change and the angel baby. </p>
 

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<p>Coffee, I sure wish we didn't need those angel babies...</p>
<p><span><img alt="hug.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328043749779_161" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"></span></p>
 

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<p>hmmm. <strong>I'm in "in our thoughts".  I really think I need a "holy crap, I don't know what I'm doing?" category...</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yesterday I had achy menstrual type cramps most of the day, and more spotting last night/this morning.  So even though you guys freaked me out yesterday that I had some horrible cervical cancer or something, I'm now pretty convinced that it is just screwy hormones.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you remember, last month I had about 4 days of spotting before AF, which has never happened.  I'm only on about CD22, so shouldn't be due for AF for a while, but maybe I'm getting the spastic spotting again! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>At any rate, I made an appt at the hospital for the 13th.  I've been putting off getting my test results (bloods) from after my last loss, so I should do that.  I think I will also ask for some hormonal testing while I'm there.  And (yelp!) if by some crazy possibility I am pregnant, at least I will be in the right place.  (I seriously doubt it though, because of the weirdo spotting/hormones).</p>
 

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<p>Milk, if there's a "holy crap, I don't know what I'm doing" category, I should be there too. I cannot even imagine TTC again once this is over. I don't know what will happen next. Sigh. </p>
 

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<p>Milk, you make me laugh. :) I look forward to hearing any results!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Coffee, give yourself some time, love. I was just there too and couldn't imagine it myself. Not saying what you'll decide, just reminding you that you don't have to make a decision either way yet. You're still in the middle of it all. ((((hugs)))</p>
<p> </p>
 

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<p>I didn't get lost in the previous month's thread this time! </p>
<p>...well, I was sort of lost trying to catch up with everyone's posts.</p>
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<p>---------------------------</p>
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<p>Depo - Over 4 years ago we started trying too.  Hubby has fertility issues....and at this point I'm almost 31, so my fertility possibilities are falling too.  We did get pregnant once totally by surprise (with no assistance), and she died full-term.  I hope you are able to find happiness despite the sadness.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Milk - how is the puppy?  I had wicked post-partum depression with Nellie, but we are getting in to a routine and I just love my furry new friend.  I am not keen on people calling me her mom, and her my baby....but I'm getting used to it.  I don't cry when it happens now.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Coffee- It's so hard so soon after loss...to want to hold your baby, to not want to go through anything like this again, to not be able to imagine being pregnant again, but to want a baby so badly you can't think of anything else...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-----------------------------</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am also in the "I don't know what I'm doing" category.  We are 5 months from when Mira was born...and I really want to be at least 6 months out before getting pregnant again, just to give my body a rest and regain some strength....still need to find a bloomin' job...!!! I am just so grateful to not be crying every day anymore! </p>
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<p>Just posting to sub at the moment. I've got company coming for lunch tomorrow and I MUST deal with the mess in my kitchen from clearing out the excess junk from the cupboards over the weekend!!</p>
 

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<p>Milk, I'm sorry I freaked you out with the cervical stuff--I was just trying to make sure you knew all the possible causes. (I transfer said blame onto Toni Weschler, MPH, by the way.) It does sound more like "screwy hormones," like you said, though. <tangent> I also just finished reading "The Immoral Life of Henrietta Lacks," about the woman whose cancerous cervical cells were the first to be widely cultured (called HeLa cells) and which spawned pretty much all of the medical research done since they were taken in 1951. (hers was a freak type at that, too--but it's a fantastic read about how the medical research industry approaches human tissue...and the sources thereof.) </tangent> BUT it sounds like getting the tests done is certainly a step forward--good luck to you. I hope they bring you helpful information.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>X- even though it's probably another month away, could you add me to <strong>Waiting to O</strong>? My chart is here: <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2acefb/" target="_blank">http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2acefb/</a> (I think that's the correct link; not sure what it should look like. Hmph)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>(and I agree, Rose, that we could all fit into that category!) </p>
<p> </p>
<p>AFM--I had a baaaad day today. It started at the ridiculous hour of 5:47am, when dh turned on way too many freaking lights and made way too much freaking noise getting ready for work this morning. He woke me up then, so I temped (and of course it was ridiculously lower than my 8am (normal human waking time) temp.) Since I was awake, of course I had to get out of bed to pee, then tried to go back to sleep until 8am, when I was going to temp again. I apparently started to do that, but then fell asleep, the therm fell out of my mouth, and I found it under my shoulder 90 minutes later, saying my temp was exactly 98.6. ALL I wanted was a 3rd day of temp rise so FF would give me crosshairs and let me count dpo until AF. :x Then I checked my email, and a gratitude blog a couple friends started sent today's topic, basically "What about this January are you thankful for?" Hm, let's see, I had a decent birthday, and the day after that I found out the baby in me had been dead for more than 4 weeks, and had to induce my m/c because, despite said baby not being alive, my corpus luteum had seen to it that the placenta was super-well-attached and not ready to leave just yet. So, you know, January sucked donkey balls, thank you. I think I've been eating TOO low-carb for working out (or mis-timing my carbs), and could barely move physically on top of the sadness and self-pity this morning. Tomorrow will be better. Today was just rough. </p>
 

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<p> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;">Thanks for the new thread. I'm dropping by but only to talk about myself and get some encouragement and input. Which feels a little selfish but I'm kind of falling apart right now.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;">I just talked to a nurse from the RE's. Turns out we have 2 problems <img alt="greensad.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328053392493_164" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border-top-width:0px;border-right-width:0px;border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;"> It's not just me <img alt="mecry.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328053392493_302" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border-top-width:0px;border-right-width:0px;border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;">DH's SA results came back. His count is good 72million. But, she said that they like to see combined A and B motility be 50%. DH's A motility is 0%(so he has none that swim in a straight line?) and B motility is only 16%. So she is recommending inseminations. Anyone whose done SA's have input? It seems pretty bad.</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;">It just hit me pretty hard. I guess because this whole time we thought he was fine. Now I think DS must really be our miracle baby. Then there's the whole I miraculously got pregnant again when our odds of conceiving naturally are SO low, only to lose the pregnancy thing...</p>
<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;"> </p>
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<p>Wow, Sila, I'm really sorry. I can see why that would hit so hard. Maybe someone else here has experience with SAs because we've never had that done. Wish I had something concrete to offer besides (((hugs)))).</p>
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<p>Steg: That's a bad day. Period. I'm so sorry. Tomorrow is another month and let's hope it is a better one for everyone.</p>
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<p>Kirsten: "It's so hard so soon after loss...to want to hold your baby, to not want to go through anything like this again, to not be able to imagine being pregnant again, but to want a baby so badly you can't think of anything else..." Yep. I think you summed that up really well. That's exactly how I felt too.</p>
 

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<p>(((Sila))) I have no btdt experience, but with IUI, your chances are that much better, right? (I'm trying to find the bright side...) I'm sorry you had bad news.</p>
 

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<p>Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts - you're in mine, too.  :)<br>
 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Milk8shake</strong> <a href="/community/t/1343859/hope-healing-conceiving-in-february#post_16857275"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><p>hmmm. <strong>I'm in "in our thoughts".  I really think I need a "holy crap, I don't know what I'm doing?" category...</strong></p>
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<p><br>
I love this category, and I love that it's already filling up.  I'm on pins and needles for you.</p>
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<p><br>
 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>SilaMarila</strong> <a href="/community/t/1343859/hope-healing-conceiving-in-february#post_16857577"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><p style="margin-top:0px;margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;">It just hit me pretty hard. I guess because this whole time we thought he was fine. Now I think DS must really be our miracle baby. Then there's the whole I miraculously got pregnant again when our odds of conceiving naturally are SO low, only to lose the pregnancy thing...</p>
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<p>Oh, Sila - I'm sorry.  I don't have any helpful experience, but I want to give you a big hug.  I don't think there's any limit on miracles.<br>
 </p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
<p>milk, coffee and rainey - I couldn't resist making a "Oh crap!  I don't know what I'm doing?!?!??!" section!  :) </p>
<p> </p>
<p>MAnna - Why are you here instead of resting from your sexathon!?  :p </p>
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<p>steg - I'm so sorry you had such a shitty day.  :( </p>
<p> </p>
<p>kirsten - I have no good advice.  My only thought is just put one foot in front of the other.  Every day is an achievement.  Hugs honey. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sila - I don't know.  I'm sorry.  But, at least you now know right?  (Sorry, trying to find the silver lining.)  You could always just start/try the clomid for a couple months first before moving to IUI. </p>
 

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<p>Resting? We're just getting started!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span><img alt="banana.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328070054301_162" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/banana.gif"></span><span><img alt="carrot.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328070054301_301" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/carrot.gif"></span><span><img alt="broc1.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328070054301_440" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/broc1.gif"></span></p>
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<p><span>(c;</span></p>
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<p><span>Nite everyone!</span></p>
 

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<p>Sila, I'm sorry you received bad news from your DH's SA. It has to be so difficult to have confirmation that there really is a problem, beyond your long cycles. Give it time to sink in. You don't have to do anything you're not ready for. Hugs to you tonight. <img alt="hug2.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328074462460_317" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></p>
 

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<p>I have to admit, I'm loving the new category.  Good work X <span><img alt="blowkiss.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328082991279_161" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/blowkiss.gif"></span></p>
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<p><span>Kirsten - new puppy is settling in well.  He has a chewing habit, like most pups.  He has so far destroyed two of the "ultimate" dog chew toys</span> in about 45mins flat.  Luckily for me, I whinged to both companies, and got refunds.  I won a set of three toys on eBay which are imported from the US, and so far they have lasted 48 hours, so I'm hopeful I might be onto something. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>We've had my big boy for five years now, so we have always been Mumma/Dadda to him, and he is/was our "baby boy".  (Now I have two boys!)  After my first loss particularly, it really hurt, and I would cringe every time someone (including me) said it.  Sometimes it still bothers me, but maybe it is easier for me because I had him beforehand?  And honestly, I would not have made it through all we have been through without Duke.  I know that it's hard for people who are not "dog people" to understand that, and I really can't explain it in words, but he and I have such a bond.</p>
<p>Some of you might laugh, or think I'm a bit crazy, but I love him like a child.  He means that much to me. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Steg - don't worry about freaking me out.  After my pregnant/miscarriage roller coaster for the last couple of years, I do think I am due for a pap.  I even had one schedule before #4.  I really should do something about it.  Really though, it was the menstrual-ish cramps yesterday that eased my mind, because I don't think I would have that happening if the cause of the spotting was something nasty.  SO sorry about your crappy day,  Ugh.  You need to work on that carbs issue though, you don't need it! </p>
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<p>Sila - <span><img alt="Cuss.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1328082991279_302" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/Cuss.gif">  I don't know what to say, but that really sucks.  I was hoping for better news for you. </span> I think you're welcome to come here and get whatever it is that you need.  I only wish I could offer you some sort of advice.  How is your DH handling the news? </p>
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<p>AFM: as far as my test results are concerned, they are just rerunning all of the tests that I have had before, because I asked them to.  I haven't worried about getting the results, because I know there won't be anything abnormal - there never is.  I just couldn't be bothered going in and waiting for two hours to be told that I'm "normal".  But now that the screwiness continues, I guess I will head in and do something about it. </p>
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<p>Oh, and turns out that I'm not as well adjusted as I thought.  I logged onto devilbook on my lunch break today and found a pregnancy announcement.  I had that immediate <sicktomystomach> reaction.  Not cool.  It's one of DP "supposedly" really good friends, and I'm pissed right off that they didn't give us the heads up before blurting it all the web.  Hmph.</p>
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