[ekandrmkb]

I thought I'd re-post, as we started a new thread…

snadaska - sorry to hear about the bfn. who knows, though - isn't 11dpo still early to test? could be that this time you are just having a different experience?

MegEliz - I wish your doctor had more to say. Any chance to get a second opinion somewhere, see someone else?

slshoe128 - you made me chuckle. I felt that way too when we were "covering our bases", of course, now DH wants to keep that pace up regardless...not that I'm against it, mind you, but I know how you are feeling!

I ALSO just realized what AFM stood for! so, AFM - this is weird, but I have to ask it because I'm over analyzing every single LITTLE THING - I usually wake up (during the week) at about a quarter to six. I woke up briefly at maybe about 5? or 4:30? with a major twinge on my left side. Felt in the lower abs, on the left - anyone have that? It was weird. Could just have been about any old thing, but of course I'm wondering if anything going on with me is possibly related to potential pg...

Anyone have any thoughts about weird twinges? Can that be an early pg symptom, or just me being silly? Here's my chart:

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35a220

 

[ekandrmkb]

MAnna - thanks, I thought I was just being nutto about this...I just need to relax. As for you, try not to put too much pressure on tomorrow am...how many dpo will you be? I totally understand, though!

Rose - hope this weekend is relaxing as can be for you.

I will be charting again tomorrow. I'm totally braced for the drop in temp - somehow I'm not at all convinced conception happened this time. Doesn't mean I'll not be disappointed, but at least I'm trying to brace myself for the bfn that may be in my future next week. I'll wait at least until next Friday, if my temp doesn't drop before then.

 

[ekandrmkb]

it DOES look good - please post once you test, hoping for good news! 10 dpo is kind of early, too, isn't it? so in theory you could get a bfn but have a later bfp...fingers crossed...

 

[ekandrmkb]

Oh Rose, I am so sorry...I know how it feels to just want your body back to "normal"....after my loss it took so long, and I wasn't even actively ready to try again; that must be really hard because your mind/heart is ready but not your body. But, I think you are right - it's a good idea to wait a cycle to get in the best physical shape you can. That's why my DH and I waited until after my last AF, because that was the first one I was sure of after losing Rex (there might have been AF before that, but it was right after I slowed down the spotting/discharge from the post-birth). I just kept thinking about how I was physically "in training" to get my body ready to (hopefully) get a bfp and have it stick. But, I know - we hated having to mention the condoms. Hugs to you.

 

[ekandrmkb]

Rose - just wanted to say from your post last night that I know exactly what you mean about resenting having to go through it all again. I thought I was done. I only really wanted 2 kids, my last pregnancy was HARD, and the thought of doing it again makes me feel resentful. Hopefully you can find out when you can get rid of those condoms, though, and feel like you can do something. It'll be nice to be able to focus on that. Hopefully soon. Hugs.

MAnna - hang in there, it's early. Interesting spike in temps though.

callieollie - seems like a year is long enough for re-testing...?

AFM - temp up again but I was (a) later than normal in taking it, and (b) DS woke me up at 2:30 so I feel like my rest was messed up, wondering if that has something to do with it. I'm now 7dpo, waiting for testing until at least 13dpo I think unless I get a "3 for 2" hpt package. I had cramps and backache last night, backache still here slightly today. Could be weird, but I never really know what's "normal" for me pre-AF because it's been a really long time (last full AF schedule was over a year ago) and I was never really regular. Still, I'm bracing for the bfn next week.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35a220

 

[ekandrmkb]

MAnna - hang in there. I totally get it. I just turned (gulp) 39 recently, and feel my time is ticking ticking ticking! I think I'm prepping myself for a bfn next week because I don't know how long we're going to try, and if we start getting bfns every month, I need to try to be emotionally ready. So many people (including my OB) say that the age thing is not that big an issue, but it's a little nerve-wracking, esp. when you thought that your path would go a totally different way, with no loss...having to start all over again is so hard. I wish none of us had to deal with this..

Hopefully for you the next few days will bring some better news!

 

[ekandrmkb]

Xerxella and Gemmine - how soon will you test? I'm at 7 dpo and thought I'd wait a bit...but (and I guess this can go to anyone), how soon can one test? I'd rather not get lots of iffy results, it might make me crazy...but i don't want to wait forever!

 

[ekandrmkb]

Gemmine - thanks for your reply. I know for sure I'll wait until next week Friday at least - as for luteal phase length, etc. - I actually don't know because I've never charted before, and I have had irregular cycles in the past. After my first son was born, and the (long) wait for my cycle to come back was done, I was more regular but with a roughly 35 day cycle. FF wants me to wait until 18 dpo, but I will probably crack before then if AF doesn't come back. I don't think I had an implantation dip, although I'm only at 7 dpo; but I might have had an ovulation dip...I guess I just have to be patient and wait like everyone else here - haha.

 

[ekandrmkb]

MAnna - chart still looks good, esp. when you get rid of the weird # there. Fingers crossed.

Calebsmommy - I hope to have your willpower with testing; as I don't know my cycle pretty much at all, I have no idea when AF is coming (other than a guess), so I'll probably just try to wait as long as possible.

AFM - temp dip this AM. Did not sleep well/much last night though. I'm trying to not freak out about this. Read a little bit about implantation dips but trying not to obsess. Tomorrow's another day, right? Basically I'm just waiting until I'm at least 12-14 dpo to test if there's no AF; and just waiting to hear news from you guys!

 

[ekandrmkb]

Guys - I'm so sorry things are so down for everyone right now! I'm hoping there will be some good news on the horizon, don't know what to say....other than I'm thinking of you all.

I don't want to add to the not so great news, but I'm spotting. Started having cramps this afternoon, and some very light spotting in the last hour. Don't know if it's AF since I used to have 35 day cycles and that's what I plugged into FF for my first month of charting. If this is AF, it's CD 31. But, I never start a cycle with spotting, it usually just starts at virtually full flow. Honestly, could be that I'm out, and FF was wrong about my O date because I put in the wrong length of time for a cycle because I haven't had a period for a year because I've been pg and went through a full 9 month pregnancy that ended 4 months ago...so I'm frustrated. Currently not too emotionally upset, other than I was hoping to have something to plan for.

 

[ekandrmkb]

(sorry for the self-centeredness here)

Just a quick note. I'm out this month. AF started. I was (see my last post) feeling kind of okay with it last night, and now I'm just...pissed. More upset than I expected. I got pretty upset about this last night. I know a lot of people on this board are dealing with a lot more than me right now in the TTC camp - thinking of you guys - but I'm just angry because I should have a 4 month old keeping me up at night, not stress, cramps and too much wine. It's just really unfair.

That, and I think I entered my info into FF wrong when I signed up, and that gave me more hope than should have been there. Thought I had a longer cycle. Now, cycle is shorter, but luteal phase is short according to FF, and I have NO IDEA what that means. Does that mean date of O is off? Does that mean it's going to be harder than I think it should be to get pg? Next month we're here, but the month after that we're on vacation with the inlaws, and timing could not be worse for BD/ovulation. Grr.

Sorry, I'm just dealing with a lot of pent up emotions. Here's my chart, for what it's worth - I'm feeling it's rather useless.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/35a220

Thanks for letting me rant. I will hopefully get my head back together to come back and check on you guys.

 

[ekandrmkb]

So, I was away for a day to try to get my head on straight - just catching up with things.

First - TanN, I'm so, so sorry to hear what happened. I lost my son during labor at 40 weeks (in Feb), so I know how hard it is to get back on the TTC train while still grieving. Also, I have had irregular/long cycles too, so can relate to not quite knowing what is up. My last AF (besides the current one) was in beginning of June, but before then could have been possibly in beginning of April, or maybe the June one was the first after my loss (over 3 months).

What test did your doctor use to find out you haven't ovulated? I was curious. I just started this AF after a 30 day cycle which is almost short for me, and even though I charted, I'm not 100% sure I even ovulated. Sigh. This is all so frustrating. Hang in there, and keep us posted.

AFM - not much to report. I might not chart next month, I think it makes me a little crazy/obsessed. DH doesn't want me to either - he thinks we just need to "relax" a bit so things can stick. I'm not sure not charting would cause me to get pg, that seems a little silly; do you guys think stress really makes that big of a difference? Frankly, I'll be stressed if I chart or not...I'm just anxious about ALL of this - getting pg, not getting pg and struggling...all of it.

Regardless, I'm going to take advice posted here and take some B6...already on a prenatal multi and take extra vitamin C. Have any of you heard of Siberian ginseng, false unicorn root, or chasteberry? Any experience taking any? I read about these being helpers for regulating cycles or encouraging ovulation - or extening the luteal phase, which mine was supershort.

I am thinking about everyone here - a lot of AF going around...sigh. For those still in the running, good luck!

 

[ekandrmkb]

Rose - SO glad you had a good appointment. Great that you don't have to get the D&C! I hope your body starts to calm down soon...

TandN - I think I am prone to obsessing over these details because I need some control...losing a full term baby, nothing seems safe. So, I think I'm stressing out more about the temping and charting and "signs" because I am looking for a way to control this process...something that really isn't that controllable. Sigh. I hope to be more like you this upcoming month, and just try to relax a little more.

Xerxella - thanks. I will talk to my dr. about testing if things don't go well this month. I had general bloodwork in end of May, when I was worried that AF hadn't shown up...and all that came back "normal" and my dr. thought it looked like I was going to ovulate soon (her words). She was right - it was about 2-3 weeks before AF that I took the blood test. Of course, I might be switching doctors, so that might make things complicated. I'll try to get some B6 tomorrow, maybe wait on the homeopathic stuff...you are not the only one to mention that it did not seem to do much for you. Not totally discounting it, but maybe I shouldn't throw too many changes in right away...

So, I might not temp or chart this upcoming cycle. We'll see.

Any more late news? I started writing this and left for a while, so it's possible I'm already behind on things...best of luck as always to everyone...

 

[ekandrmkb]

Hi there -

- Anna - ick. Sometimes people don't know what to say, too, and then say things that just make it worse. I can't forget a work friend whose wife was due about 2-3 months after me, and when I came back to work, proceeded to tell me that he couldn't even tell his wife what happened because she'd be so "freaked out" (great, I'm the dire warning/omen of doom), and then started to tell me about how they have to go in for a late ultrasound just to rule things out, etc...I still can't talk to him, esp. since now they have had their baby. I just avoid them. Then, there's the other work friend who, when I tell her I've been forgetting things at work and having trouble focusing, tells me that she knows EXACTLY how I feel because she gets that way each month when she has PMS. WTF? People just don't know what they are saying half the time. Hopefully it's just ignorance.

TandN - I hope you get some answers soon so you know what you need to do to get the ball rolling.

Xerxella - how confusing. I hope you get answers too.

AFM - just waiting to start again. I wasn't going to temp. But, I've reconsidered. The only reason I did, though, is that I want to approach it like a science experiment, and see if the extra b6 I am starting to take today makes any difference in the pattern of temps. I'm going to just do my own thing otherwise; will try VERY hard to not obsess over the chart, or look at it and think it's like a magic 8 ball or something. I'll just register the temps and see what happens. We'll see if I can keep away from the chart during the day - took my temp this AM and haven't been back, so a good start. LOL. We're going to see our grief counselor tonight too - so that should help me not get nutty.

 

[ekandrmkb]

One more thing I have to share because it's kind of freaky...

Where I work, I have to go on this program on the computer that always has a quote on the main section, that changes every day. I had to go there shortly after posting my last post.

Today's was said by Alexander Dumas: "All human wisdom is made up of two words - wait and hope."

I feel like that fits all of us right now.

 

[ekandrmkb]

Me too - and sometimes a little more hope, yes?

 

[ekandrmkb]

Hi there - quiet over here, but I'll put in my 2 cents in that I'm absolutely and completely filled with terror at the thought of a BFP, even though at the same time I really want one. Another pregnancy for me will be very, very rough. I think I may need to be put in a padded room for the amount of time it lasts (can't even say for 9 months, for who knows??).

Yet somehow I'm here, TTC. My therapist also vows to talk to me all the time if I go through another pregnancy. She says, "w'e'll get you through it." I hope (a) there's that opportunity, and (b) she's right.

 

[ekandrmkb]

Hi all - so sorry for this hard day...just wanted to say that.

I have nothing about me to report, except that a woman who works with DH who was almost done with her pregnancy (not sure how along she was) just lost her baby. I think she may have been close to full term.

Times like this make me wonder how in the world the human race re-populates...it seems like this is happening everywhere I turn. I feel so terrible for her, even though we've never met.

Sorry to be a downer, I just needed to mention it somewhere. My DH is such an amazing guy - he's been so upset for her, and is trying to figure out what to do. It's strange to be on the other side of things so soon after our loss. If you had a male co-worker acknowledge your loss, would that be weird? I'm trying to figure out what he should do. If it were me, I'd reach out to her about this board (among other things), but I don't know her so feel strange doing it. I also think it's different coming from a woman vs. a man when you've gone through this, no matter how well-intentioned - my DH can obviously relate, but it's still different, you know?

I know this may be a question to ask on the main board, but this is the board I've been going to, so I thought I'd ask here.

I hope everyone here hangs in there. There's got to be a better future around the corner for all of us. I'm trying to cling to that.

 

[ekandrmkb]

Well, I'm glad I had a second to come over here today and check out the good news! Congrats on the BFPs you two!

sommer - you repeated what I've heard recently - sometimes "not" trying ends up with a success. Harder to do than not, though - very happy for you.

AFM - not much to report, just been really tired. I basically have 2 jobs plus a toddler who doesn't want to go to sleep until at least 9:30 lately - and so I've just been wiped. Just realized this morning looking at my chart that I'm at 11 cd, so I guess DH and I should get cracking...can't win the lottery if you don't play, right? Ha. But, AF was LONG for me - about 8 days all in all. It used to be about 5...

Time to get back on track. My chart is kind of weird, temps all over the place - but I'm trying to ignore that and not get obsessed. Taking B6 as recommended for short luteal phase, and I guess we'll just see what happens. I'm just thinking the crazy temps are because of my lack of sleep/general exhaustion.

Hope to hear about some more BFPs soon - sommer and ChiaraRose, please keep us posted.

 

[ekandrmkb]

Hi sommer - thanks for looking at my chart. Those last 2 days I temped maybe 15 minutes after my "normal" temp time, so it should be about the same, right? Don't know why those were open circles. However, there were thoughts on the board about the cross hairs being about 2 days or so late - I hope that's the case. Before I lost my 2nd, it seemed relatively easy to get pg - but somehow I'm convinced it will be hard this time. Don't know why. I'm on B6 right now on some recommendations to increase LP, but I think I might try to vitex next month if there's no winner this time around. This month, temps seem to be yo-yo like, don't know why, but I'll choose not to worry about that too much...if I can...

Of course, I'm hoping something works out THIS month because I'm on vacation with my inlaws next month in a SMALL house, and the timing will make BDing on time next to impossible.

- also, snadaska - I've heard every other day, but every day is also okay if sperm count is good...seems like you and I are on the same schedule more or less - cd 11/12. Here's hoping things work out for us this month!