[M Anna]

Thanks for volunteering for threadkeeper, Xerxella!

Don't you hate the weird twinges thing? The only time I ever had a twinge that I knew actually meant anything was the one and ONLY time I had ovulation pain. (two kids ago) I tend to panic and overanalyze everything. I'm obsessing over the fact that I don't "feel" pregnant. You're chart is really looking great though!

AFM: Every time I think about testing in the morning I get that "missed a step" feeling in my stomach. Ugh.

 

[M Anna]

I'll be 10 DPO tomorrow. I'm having to sit on my hands not to break down and test tonight. But I figure giving it 12 more hours and using the FMU will make it less likely that I'll see a BFN. I'll probably see a BFN anyway, but if I see it tonight, I'll be depressed (and kicking myself for wasting a test).

Sigh.

I have to keep going back and looking at my chart and saying "it looks good, it looks good, chill out..."

 

[M Anna]

Rose, I want you to be there too. It's not fair that you should still be in flux like this. Not fair. (((hugs)))

At least I know that if it's a BFN in the morning, I'll have some sympathy here. That's nice.

 

[M Anna]

BFN this morning. Sigh.

And my temp, for whatever reason, was off the charts. 99.66 up from 98.29 yesterday. What? I'm not sick.

I'll be testing tomorrow. I keep trying to remind myself that 10 DPO is early, but in my heart I think that if it's negative today it's not going to change.

 

[M Anna]

AFM = As for me

I am so seriously depressed. I'm so freaking tired of seeing negative tests. Yeah, yeah, I know it's not been "long" since the mc, but it seems like longer because I had been waiting to be pregnant for 6 mos before I was pregnant with my son, then lost him at 3 months and now here I am, and I"m on the very wrong side of 35, and if we didn't conceive this cycle then I don't know what else to do. I ovulated (to all appearances), had a nice biphasic chart and we were like bunnies. Everything was "right". I've gone from being "fertile Myrtle" to being ...ok, can't think of a rhyme.

 

[M Anna]

I hope so. *sigh* I've got to pull myself together and get on with the day. It's like a massive, wet quilt lying on top of the whole day.

(later)

I retemped and it was 98.53. Was I just overheated? Anyone else have this happen? I just temped and I've been up for over three hours so I'm not going to use it, but what the heck was that 99.66??

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/358b81

 

[M Anna]

It's been a depressing sort of day. Nobody laugh, but I actually tested again around noon because I hadn't had anything to eat or drink up to that point. BFN, duh. I don't know what I was thinking.

Anyway, I've been thinking that a BFN at 10 DPO is NEGATIVE, period, the end. Not rationally, but emotionally. I went and read the article on FF about when to expect a BFP (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/Faqs/When-can-I-expect-a-positive-HPT-if-I-am-pregnant.html ) and it was really helpful. I keep hearing about really early positives (8-10 DPO) and thinking that that's what to expect. Aparently the average is 13.6 DPO for the first BFP. I may be totally deluding myself, but it made me feel better anyway. (And I really hope my temp is normal tomorrow and not practically a fever!)

Looking forward to hearing about other people's tests! Calebsmommy25, that sounds really promising! Let us know!

 

[M Anna]

I think you need to go back in to be checked for an ectopic pronto. Yes, it may not be, but if it is, you need to see someone soon. Keep us updated.

 

[M Anna]

If this is an ectopic pregnancy, then it can be life-threatening. I don't have maternity insurance either and had to apply for the state medicaid program when I was pregnant a few months ago. This may be an option for you and if so, they certainly cover retroactively so it would cover an emergency room visit. If you present with something like this, even without insurance, the ER cannot turn you away. I don't mean to be a worry-wort, but I was a nurse for 13 years (been home for a year now), the last several in GYN including a low-income GYN clinic, and saw a lot of ectopics. They are way more common than people know.

Gotta head to bed. I hope everything turns out ok. (((hugs)))

(And it sure would be nice to read about some BFPs soon!)

 

[M Anna]

(yeah, not in bed yet)

Just take care of yourself!

 

[M Anna]

BFN. *sigh*

But my temp is nice (I discarded the 99.66 - have no clue what that was but it can't be legit). I'm going to wind up with one of those beautiful triphasic patterns....that just falls off the cliff and AF comes. I'm 11 DPO so I'm not totally giving up. I hope we'll see some BFPs soon too. Sorry this is so self-centered.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/358b81

 

[M Anna]

calebsmommy25: I'm so sorry. Going back to the "scene" is sometimes so hard. And I wish I had something I could tell you about your cycle. It's ok to vent - you're having a rough time. Gotta start getting everyone ready for church now - will light a candle there for you - and for all of you ladies. (((hugs)))

 

[M Anna]

Oh, Lydiah, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. I hurt for you. (((hugs))) Don't try to come to long-lasting conclusions today. Today is enough to handle on its own. I'm so sorry...

 

[M Anna]

I'm sorry everyone. What a bummer of a start to this month! I hope it ends much better than it's beginning.

 

[M Anna]

My temp dropped 1/2 a degree this morning and I had a BFN again. If the pattern sticks, I'll be spotting by tonight, drop to coverline and start AF tomorrow. *sigh* Not this month. (Norabella, we seem to have the same pattern.) My LF is 2 days shorter this month too.

 

[M Anna]

I'm bearing up surprisingly well. I was really upset on Saturday with the BFN because I really felt that it was just going to stay negative and we had done everything we could this month. Yesterday I started out depressed with another negative but I prayed for the peace to accept what was and "deal with it". By last night, though I still held out a little hope (temps still looked good), I felt like it was going to be negative and was ok. This morning, there was that little nasty shock when I saw my temp dropped half a degree and I knew that was it for this month. I'm slightly crampy too. It's disappointing, not only because of the negative, but because my LP is only going to be 13 days instead of 15 (which is still ok, but not normal for me). I feel somewhat down, but not depressed and I'm grateful for that. I wish AF would go ahead and start though. Thanks for all of the support ladies. I know I"m not going through anything near what some of you are and I feel sort of pitiful complaining.

ekandrmkb: I'm sorry. (((hugs))) The whole thing just stinks. I looked at your chart and wonder if it was anovulatory because that is a really short LP. I'm not experienced enough to tell. I'm sure someone else may have a better thought.

MegEliz: I'm glad you finally stopped. Good luck with the doctor visit and I hope you get some questions answered. I know what you mean about feeling better because you are discounting this coming month. I wish I could do that too.

Lydiah: I'm sorry I've been self-centered. You have my hugs and sympathy. I hate you're going through this.

Sorry to anyone I've left out personally - I did light a candle for all of you yesterday and pray we have some good news this month.

 

[M Anna]

Might as well add me to waiting to O too. I started light spotting. I'm so predictable. Yay.

*Sigh* That is a LOT of us...

 

[M Anna]

tandN: I'm so sorry you lost your little girl. Like MegEliz, I hope your stay here won't be long.

 

[M Anna]

Rose: I'm so happy you won't need a D&C. I remember the massive relief I felt when I realized I wasn't going to need one. I hope things get straightened out soon.

ek: I know exactly what you mean about needing "control" or at least the illusion of it. I hadn't ever had any problems (don't shoot me everyone). I got pregnant without trying, had five healthy children, no mc, etc. Then WHAMMO, I lose my son at the end of the first trimester. There I am, holding him in my hand, looking at all of his tiny details. Suddenly the world feels a lot more precarious. I think I thought that if I charted everything just right, and stared at the patterns six times or more a day, somehow I would be in control and I would be pregnant and everything would be just fine the way it used to be. Obviously, that hasn't happened and I'm getting a little more perspective. I'm really going to try just to temp leading into O and for a day or two after so I can pin the date. Then that's it. No more CM or temping and no OPK. I'll test on DPO 14 unless it seems that AF is about to hit, no earlier. I'm tired of seeing negative tests. I want to take a test with happy anticipation, knowing there's a good chance it will be positive. I hope I can stick with this. It's easy to say all this now while I'm bleeding like a stuck pig. Sigh.

Xerxella: I'm sorry you're sick. I hate summer colds.

I know there are a few ladies still hanging in there this week. I'd love to see someone get a BFP! Prayers!

 

[M Anna]

Xerxella: It sure looks good!