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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Mamas-<br><br>
Just need some support big-time. Had a terrible experience tonight while shopping with my DH and my daughter Lulu who is 8 months.<br><br>
We were in Hanneford's doing some food shopping. It was late and my husband was going through the check out line. I took Lulu over to a bench to nurse and relax. The store was empty except for two checkout people right in front of me. They were two young guys at the registers. I didn't think anything about nursing in public. I noticed that they were giving me a look, but I just chalked it up to their being teenagers. I went about my nursing. I am descrete and don't expose any skin, but I don't do the "cover baby's head with a scarf thing."<br><br>
As we leave, one of them says really loudly:<br><br>
"If I could tear out my eyeballs I would. There are few things in life you wish you could un-see and that was one of them" -- refering, I believe, to my nursing.<br><br>
I realize he might have conceivably been speaking of something else, but it was said pointedly and loudly just as we turned to leave. Also, when my husband went back to point him out to the manager, he immediately became very defensive (my husband refused to speak to him). That, combined with the smirking looks he was giving Lulu and I while we were nursing, made me feel sure that this comment was directed to us.<br><br>
I just felt very sad. What an insult women. We are giving life, and he thinks it is revolting.<br><br>
I understand that young men who have never been exposed to nursing may be squeemish about it, but to make a comment like that -- unfathomable.<br><br>
My husband went to speak to the assistant manager, who didn't even apologize. He just said he would write it up. Hopefully we will get a call back tomorrow from the store and hear how it was handled.<br><br>
Initially, I thought about demanding a public apology from the store (in a local newspaper) in which they clarify their policies on the matter. I envisioned a nurse-in, etc. But I feel too vulnerable. Unfortunately my husband gave our names to the manager and I worry about retaliation from the checkout person (who seemed like a very hostile person, to say the least). I have decided I would rather not go beyond filing the initial complaint. But I certainly won't be going back to that store.<br><br>
I just need some sympathy right now. I have always felt so proud to nurse. I am, little old me, a giver of life! Now I just feel kind of humiliated. I know that I will bounce back, but just really needed to talk to some kindred spirits tonight.<br><br>
Thank you.<br><br>
Liz
 

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Big hugs to you and DH for standing up for you! I would like to give that ee-di-yot a kick in the dinger for you!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
I'm so sorry that happened to you.<br><br>
Hopefully, that kid will learn as he ages. It's too bad he didn't have anyone to tell him growing up that you feed babies from breasts. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="duh"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Kaly
 

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What a creepy thing to say. I used to nurse in the supermarket all the time. I probably would have called the kid a little creep to his face, like so, "Why you little creep, I'm sure you see things worse than a mom nursing a little baby all the time--at home in your bathroom mirror."<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"><br><br>
WHAT A JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot beleive that happened to you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
I would go straight up to the top with this one. . .if you don't get some other form of apology, I would ask for the boss's boss. Kudos to you dh, by the way. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I know it is VERY hard, but try to focus on all the wonderful things you are doing for your sweet baby-girl (love her name btw. . .) and try to ignore all of the self-rightous, ignorantly loud, too shallow and self absorbed to know their OWN mothers, idiotic people on this planet.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"><br>
(Go to Kellymom.com and re-read about all of the irreplacable, wonderful things you are giving to your daughter again, that always makes me feel good!)<br><br>
Sar
 

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It would be nice if he ripped out his eyes! Sheesh! What an ass! I am so sorry you had this happen! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
H
 

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You go, Momma, for NIP! The problem is not yours...it's theirs. Please don't let these very sad people get to you (I know, easier said than done).
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
Ugh - If I wasnt all the way across the country Id go over there and woop some <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/moon.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="moon"> for you<br><br>
I know from personal experience that teenage boys can be crass and seem like they are so smug when they are really just scared and trying to be tough. Remember they are more scared of you then you are of them :LOL<br><br>
:2bfbabe:
 

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I'm so sorry, Mama. I think one of the most beautiful things I can envision is a peaceful baby at mother's breast. These guys don't know beauty when they see it, and that's sad for them.<br><br>
Just imagine, this guy probably had a bottle propped up for him if he has no sense of the joy and serenity that comes to both mother and child during a tender moment at the breast. I'm certainly not defending him, I just wanted to point out that HE'S the one who should be feeling bad, NOT YOU!!!!<br><br>
And kudos to your fantastic husband for sticking up for you! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> Sadly, some people (like the manager) just don't get it.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/kiss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="kiss"> I'm so sorry mama! That's awful what happened to you. Personally I would have been broken hearted. I too am quite proud to nurse my daughter in public and if I'd ever had such a terrible experience, I'd probably just get to the car and cry. How ignorant of those men to see something beautiful and turn it into something that feels shameful! You are so selfless and beautiful for giving your little Lulu(what an adorable name!) the gift of life, the gift of your precious milk. There is no one else who can do that for her. Just you. And you should feel proud to do that in public. I probably wouldn't have had the courage to confront those men or the manager about the situation. Congrats to your wonderful dh for supporting you and your daughter's breastfeeding relationship. My husband woudlnt' have done that and I consider him supportive of breastfeeding. He would have just let it go even though it would have upset me. Feel proud of your hubby! I definitely agree that you should run to <a href="http://www.kellymom.com" target="_blank">www.kellymom.com</a> and reread about all the benefits of breastmilk for babies. Reaffirm to yourself what a wonderful mama you are and how special your gift really is. We all understand here! And like my dh says, "boobs are for babies, not for daddies. we just like to borrow them from time to time!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
Meg
 

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I don't think that guy can reach his eyeballs with his head that far up his <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/moon.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="moon"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you mama. I hope you get some kind of resolution from the store, that is absolutely unacceptable! You are doing such a wonderful thing for your daughter, I'm sorry you had to hear that trash. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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That was SO uncalled for! You deserve a big <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">!
 

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Liz,<br><br>
Do not give him the power to make you feel bad. Just don't. He is ignorant and we can all hope he learns better from this experience. I had a life guard at the pool get uncomfortable last year but he did not say anything to me, and I did the pull the swimsuit down so I was exposed. I was waiting for him to say something so I could go off on him, in a polite way of course.<br><br>
Make sure he learns that what he said was just very wrong, make him and his friends learn the facts.<br><br>
Doreen
 

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I would have talked to management and if I wasn't happy with their response insisted that they refund my merchandise at once (if you had a full cart all the better) because I refuse to do business in an establishment where I am treated so poorly. When you are buying something this gives you some leverage you don't have in other situations. For example, I make a stink about it when I hear a store employee use the term "retard" (this has happened 3 or times), because there is no way I will give money to an entity that condones/allows this incredibly offensive behavior.<br><br>
I am sorry this happened! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Try not to take it personally. Beavis or Butthead or whatever his name is obviously going through a phase in life where he is a total loser. Hopefully he will grow out of it. Too bad he has a job where he is being inflicted on the public.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I am so sorry.<br><br>
Please let us know if/when the store gets back to you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Thank you moms. You all make me feel incredibly good. Yes, my DH was wonderful. I felt very defended. No word from the store yet, will keep you posted. My mom's group wants to do a sit in nurse!!!<br><br><br>
We're going away tomorrow, will face this all again next week. But not before I reread your incredibly beautiful words.<br><br><br>
you guys are the best<br>
MDC rocks<br><br><br>
<deep bow of gratitude><br><br>
Liz
 

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I'm sorry. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br><span style="font-size:xx-small;">You should have offered to tear his eyeballs out for him.</span><br><br>
You know what I might do in that situation is write a letter to the editor of the local newspaper, talking about the benefits of breastfeeding and what it's like, then relate the incident at the store. With all the horrible things going on in the world, all the images we are exposed to that we should never have to see, having someone make such a statement about breastfeeding is disturbing and sad.
 

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Kudos to you for NIP! As for the immature punk with the comments, sounds to me like another BOOB DEPRIVED CHILD!! :LOL never the less i know how you feel and i'm sorry this happened to another wonderful mom doing the best for her baby, just know that you'll never have to worry about your little ones being that IGNORANT! keep us posted on what happens!
 

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Oh mama I am SO upset for you! How awful that you had to deal with that. To stay withing the UA I'll leave it at that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Good for you for meeting your dd's needs and being a proud breastfeeding mama. Your little one is so lucky to have you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat">
 
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