Mothering Forum banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,167 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't know where else I can say this...<br><br>
I started having these thoughts last night.. really I think more than a weeks worth of swirrling feelings came together. I was lying in bed with DH last night really horrible things I couldn't keep in anymore. I can't even type them I feel too sad.. It all revolved around not wanting this baby anymore <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
Its got to be hormonal, this isn't me. I mean yeah, I've been sick now for a long time -- some pregnancy related and some true illness, a stomach virus on top of bronchitis...but thats not reason to go telling your DH you want to give your baby up for adoption. Oh I just want to cry that I could even say that about my child!<br><br>
We planned for this child. We want this baby. We have financial uncertainty, but no real financial worry. Besides disliking my job, yet knowing I need to keep it at least until April (yeah thats really only 4.5 months) I have no real stress.<br><br>
Maybe it's a vitamin deficiency? I'd be surprised if I had 1000 calories over the last week I've been so sick. I feel like I have PPD before the baby has even arrived.<br><br>
I never thought bonding while the babe was in utero was too important --anything that happened was great, but birth and the weeks after were the important time. I'm starting to really reconsider, maybe this is all a result of me not trying hard enough to bond with this baby? It seems like the least likely cause but maybe part of the solution? idk..<br><br>
If you've put up with me this far thanks, any opinions on how to attack this emotionally or nutritionally or both would be really appreciated. i need to stop feeling like this....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,701 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm not sure if I have any good words of advice, but I can tell you that in the middle of a hormonal tantrums I suggested to my DH that I was a horrible mother and maybe he should find someone else to raise our kids <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">: I felt awful for saying it and I knew it wasn't true. I think it is normal to have some ambivalence when you are pregnant and I don't think there is something wrong with you persay.<br><br>
If you are concerned about depression, a safe, natural treatment that I have had good luck with is a combo of fish oil supplements, b-vitamins and daily yoga. I had depression issues in both of my previous pregnancies and overall I feel like this is keeping me feeling good. I hope you feel better soon <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,804 Posts
A few weeks ago I flipped out on DH wondering why we had ever decided we would be good parents. I said some horrible things... but I knew I really really didn't mean it, I was just feeling resentful and took it out on everyone.. even the baby. <3.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,167 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
thanks..I'm glad to hear I'm not alone.. now that I'm thinking about it, I wouldn't think it was a horrible or unusual thing if someone else told me they were feeling this way.. it's just so shocking that I have these thoughts in my own head.<br><br>
B vitamins are a great idea.. I should have thought of that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Hopefully I'll be strong enough to get back to my regular exercise -- yoga is my daily movement of choice as well..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,006 Posts
It is normal. But if you really start to feel like you are going to fold... talk to someone. Your body is taking a big hit in a short time. Between being sick and being pregnant... it is a lot for your body to go through. It will start to wear on you mentally.<br><br>
I also suggest taking some quite time for yourself. Get some relaxation cds or a yoga video or two and spend some time trying to center yourself. Breathe and take it easy. Enjoy a warm bath and just sit with your hands on your belly and think about how you might think your baby looks, what their personality is going to be like. Who are they going to take after? What will their favorite foods, songs, games and animals. Talk to the baby, sing to the baby if you feel up to it.<br><br>
I hope you get out of your slump soon. I'm working my way out of one... a little each day. If you can go find some where that does prenatal massage, and visit the Chiropractor.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
605 Posts
When I felt my lowest, I was very dehydrated. I couldn't keep anything down and had an IV in the hospital. I totally felt like a new woman.<br><br>
Definitely talk to someone (isn't it nice to have this board!) Hope you feel better soon.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
51,189 Posts
I ditto the suggestion on omega3's. There is a huge link between deficiency and depression. And baby needs those EFA's to grow his/her brain and nervous system so if you aren't supplementing andyour diet isn't meeting demand, it could very well be why you are feeling the way you do.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,431 Posts
I just wanted to offer a <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> and say that it's okay to have awful thoughts. Your body and mind are going through a giant transition, and although yes, birth is positive and gives you a wonderful gift, it's a kind of trauma too. You aren't the same person afterwards as you were before -- there's a definite split, of a kind rarely experienced in our culture. It can be scary and overwhelming, and can make you think all kinds of crazy stuff. Anyway, I don't have any concrete advice for you, but just wanted to tell you that you're not weird for having those thoughts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,167 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MissAnnThrope</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9899593"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
I also suggest taking some quite time for yourself. Get some relaxation cds or a yoga video or two and spend some time trying to center yourself. Breathe and take it easy. Enjoy a warm bath and just sit with your hands on your belly and think about how you might think your baby looks, what their personality is going to be like. Who are they going to take after? What will their favorite foods, songs, games and animals. Talk to the baby, sing to the baby if you feel up to it.<br><br>
I hope you get out of your slump soon. I'm working my way out of one... a little each day. If you can go find some where that does prenatal massage, and visit the Chiropractor.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Those are great suggestions. "me" time has been on the back burner lately for sure..<br><br><br>
Harmie & Limabean -- thanks so much for the support. It really means so much<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>willemsmamma</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9901089"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I ditto the suggestion on omega3's. There is a huge link between deficiency and depression.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
You're probably right. I always question nutrition when I don't feel in control of the thoughts in my head. Do you know of a good brand of supplement? I've heard so much about fish oil being rancid, and needing to get a good brand that was store in refrigeration, etc.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top