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Discussion Starter #1
I was planning a home birth but it looks like it won't be happening due to finances. I asked the only people I could for a loan and was told that 'my money is better spent elsewhere, your midwife and doula is not a priority' and to 'reconsider my choices because having the birth paid for is far more important than what I want'.<br><br>
I've posted my history elsewhere on the board but I'll give as short of a background as I can... My c-sections never should have happened and I blame myself as much as anyone else, especially because I couldn't bring myself around fast enough to refuse my daughters.<br><br>
My son was an induction at 37 weeks, the too big baby card. I didn't know any better and did what my OB said we needed to do (mistake #1). He broke my water at 2CM and 80% and -1 station after a night of cervidil. I don't remember consenting to him breaking my water, I remember him doing an exam and then pop went water and he said 'I'm going to break your water'. Anyway, I was flat on my back in bed due to 'policy' (mistake #2) and never progressed. I was on high doses of pit for many hours when finally at 15 hours post water breaking, my OB said we had to c-section for failure to progress. I had only gotten to 3CM on my own, they manually stretched me to 4 and I had been that way for like 6 hours. So, DS was born via c-section, weighing in at 5lbs 11oz. Too big baby my a$$!<br><br>
So, with my daughter, I was determined to have my VBAC. I sought out a midwifery practice that I thought was my best choice. I didn't push my husband for a homebirth (mistake #1) and I should have. I went into labor at 41.5 weeks (self induced with herbs) and had a hard but progressing labor. After 12 hours, I got an epidural at 6CM and allow my MW to break my water (mistake#2) at 6CM, completely effaced and 0 station. My daughter engaged in my pelvis slightly sideways and so her cord was next to her head (NOT a prolapse, she simply compressed it between her head and the birth canal). They came in and flipped me from my right side to my left side and she compressed the cord, heart rate dropped to 80. They flipped me back, threw oxygen at me and checked me at 7CM. Her heartrate skyrocketed to 190/200 and next thing I know I have a ball between my legs. I'm rechecked and am 9CM and +1 station. Her heart rate came down to about 160 with those hard contractions, the OB took one look at a monitor and said I needed a c-section. I was too lost in the moment, terrified of losing my birth and I couldn't get myself to speak up and say no. It took 20 min before they rolled me out of the room and when they did, her heart rate was normal at 150's. No one cared at that point, I was already prepped for my c-section so who gave a crap if the baby was fine? Apparently I transition like a freight train as it was 90 seconds between 7CM and 0 station and 9CM and +1! Had I been on my feet, she may not have slowed down, she may have come flying out lol.<br><br>
Every person I've talked to has said I'm a great candidate for a VBA2C but I know the chances of getting that with an OB is lower. However I can't afford to pay the midwife I've hired and being that I will have tricare at the time of birth (DH is enlisting), I either need to find a HB midwife who takes tricare or deliver at Bethesda Medical Center in MD/DC. The only other option is the birthing center that delivered my daughter but they won't even take me on as a client now so I'm kinda stuck.<br><br>
I have 2 doula's who will be part of my birth, with intentions to stay home as long as possible. I will NOT have another c-section. If it comes down to it, I will HBAC unassisted but I'm not sure I'm comfortable being that my husband won't be here.<br><br>
So, what are MY rights in a hospital? I have no intentions of continuous monitoring and will take it off. But do I have to sign consent forms when I arrive? Can I refuse to sign any paperwork? I will not have an IV and I will not be restricted to the bed. I don't see how they can force me to do anything but really, what are my rights as the patient? Ideally, I would like to get there pretty much pushing but it may not happen that way given the distance to Bethesda. Am I crazy to even think a VBA2C in a hospital will happen, especially on MY terms? I know my doulas will help fight for me, that's why I have 2 of them <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> There is ONE other birthing center that will take tricare insurance however when I talked with them, they were less than enthused about a VBA2C and said I would have to go into labor before 40.5 weeks (haha, I will just keep refusing and rescheduling the c-section).<br><br>
Thanks ladies! I know this was long, I just want to get an idea of what I can and can't refuse. I plan to refuse everything and do it my way, what can they really do anyway?
 

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Even if you go in complete, if the policy at Bethesda is no VBA2C, they will push hard to section you. Refusing procedures at a military hospital is always a bigger challenge than at a non-military facility, due to the "follow orders or else" mentality. Even if they accept your determination for VBA2C, and agree not to immediately jump to surgery, they will push hard for IV/heplock, continuous monitoring, etc. Expect lots of emotional blackmail and to hear that you are risking your baby's life. Very difficult to cope with when you are in labor.<br><br>
You can edit the consent forms to exclude certain procedures or require verbal consent for each and every thing they want to do. This generally does not go over well, but you are within your rights to do it.<br><br>
You are not in the military, your husband is, so you do not have to follow the orders, but be prepared for a very hard fight. If *you* were in the military and a superior officer ordered you to have the surgery, you would have to comply or risk court martial.<br><br>
Also, be aware that they do not have to allow your doulas in, or they can kick them out if they feel they are "interfering" to much. Your doulas can support you and your decisions. They cannot speak in your place or put themselves in a spot of conflict with the doctors/nurses. They can help you say no, but they cannot say no for you.<br><br>
If your husband is not going to be with you, I would HIGHLY recommend having a Medical Power of Attorney prepared, giving someone who will be with you decision making power on your behalf, if you have an emergency medical need and need someone to speak for you. It could be a friend or family member. It could even be one of your doulas IF she is willing and you have a deep discussion prenatally about what your wishes would be in the event of severe medical emergency.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I actually have come acrossed a civilian midwifery practice that takes tricare and vba2c so it would be in a civillian hospital. I don't think I'm going to have much luck at a military hospital without a huge fight!<br><br>
I'm aware my doula's can't make medical chocie for me, however they can get ME to be level headed... That's what I needed in those last moments of DD's birth but no one tried.<br><br>
I won't have anyone but my doula's with me.. My mom is non-supportive, my husband will be gone and my mother in law will be with my children.<br><br>
How do I handle verbal consent for everything? Do I simply cross out the consent form and write verbal consent for all procedures needed?<br><br>
I feel a lot better after talking to a group of former birth center midwives and knowing there is a non military option out there for me. I know this will all go fine, I just need to have faith. It's hard when everything you've planned suddenly gets shaken and stirred and you have to start over. But I know it will all work out, even if it's not the way I originally thought it would!<br><br>
Thanks! Sometimes you just need to sit down and type it out and get your head on straight... I'm glad I have MDC to do that! It rocked my world a little bit suddenly not being able to get the birth I had envisioned but I'm hopeful I will be taken where I need to be to get the best possible care/birth for me and my baby!
 

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good luck <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> i'm curious, what herbs did you use to induce labor?
 

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Hi, new here, and first post. I'm pretty sure there is a military spouse forum on here where I read you can switch your level of coverage with Tricare. If you drop to Standard, you can be seen off base, but you will have to pay a little out of pocket with copays. If I remember correctly, Tricare Standard maternity coverage only makes you pay $25 (or something cheap like that) for your hospital stay and not for office visits. I would look on that board and ask questions there. Good luck!<br><br>
Also, when I had my daughter I went back to my husband's home state to have our baby. The woman at the Tricare office on base was very helpful when I couldn't find a doctor. She made some phone calls and had everything taken care of in less than 2 days. Maybe you can set an appointment with a Tricare representative and voice your concerns about birthing on base. Also, the people on the phone always seem to be misinformed about the system so be careful!
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks mrsberman!<br><br>
I will be going on Tricare Standard for myself so that I can be seen off base at a civilian practice and birth at a civilian hospital that allows VBA2Cs.<br><br>
I feel a lot better after talking to my doula's and them being reasurring that I will still acheive my birth and they'll be there to help me through every step of it. I feel very blessed that even though I don't have family support and my husband will be gone, I have these wonderful women involved who are willing to support me in every way they can. One of whom is a friend (also a doula) who is trying her darndest to find a midwife who will help me deliver at home and work with me on the cost. I'm still hoping that the midwife I hired is willing to work with me a bit more and I can still have her. If not, I know I have options and I feel a lot better knowing I do...<br><br>
Thanks everyone!
 
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