[girrllie]

Don't know if anyone has seen the new House of Babies show on the Discovery Health Network. It's all about a birthing center in Miami, mainly does water births. That's my birthing center! We don't get that channel (we have like sub-basic cable), but i saw the opener at a friend's house. Anyway, the show seems to be getting mixed reviews from the natural birth community. Like it's great to see a show all about natural birth, but that the mw seem a little on the medical/pushy side. And those are my feelings pretty much about the birthing center. Like I know they are not medwives there, but some of the practices disturb me - like rushing the mom out of the tub at the end and immediate suctioning of the babe, cutting the cord pretty much immediately, etc. Pretty much after birth stuff.<br><br>
I brought up HB to DH tonight (well, it's 4 a.m. but before I went to bed <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/upsidedown.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="upsidedown"> ), and he was really against it. We live like 15-20 minutes by ambulance to the closest hospital and I'm having a VBAC. Versus the center which is 5 mins. to a hospital. I just keep running around my concerns in my head and discussing them with the mws there doesn't help really resolve them. I'm seriously thinking about HB. The thing is that last time I wanted a HB and DH was against it. So I compromised on a birth center and ended up with a cesarean, in part b/c of that decision I think. So now I'm thinking maybe I'll just plan a HB anyway. I'm definitely in the no vagina no vote camp, but it *is* hard to plan something so significant without DH on board.<br><br>
Any advice? I'm not sure how to resolve this one.

 

[StarCat]

I saw it. I was going to post, too and ask if anyone else had. I have caught the end of it 2x and then I dvr'd it the other day to watch. It didn't seem like they were overly medical from the small parts that I saw. i saw them get a lady out of the tub and suction the baby but it was because they had to cut an epis. because her old epis. was really tight & a lot of scar tissue and the baby wouldn't come out more than 1/3 of the way. It seemed as though they gave her a lot of time to push. Of course its so edited that you never know whats real, so who knows what you are really seeing and how much time has lapsed during. I just think its awesome that they are showing natural births and midwives. I hope it makes more people think about their choices when they are having babies.<br><br>
As for your DH, its a tough one. On one hand I am a firm believer that all women should have the birth they want- wheter its an unassisted hb or a scheduled c/s for "vaginal preservation". As long as they make an informed, educated decision. But on the other hand, you have a partner who has a say in this and I think that to totally disregard his opinion and role in it isn't fair and could potentially cause additional stress that you don;t need at this time. Maybe instead of just bringing it up to him again, present him with research and studies on VBAC's and on home births. Work up an actual plan- including all the "what-if's" and how each would be dealt with. Then maybe he could make a more educated decision on it as well.

 

[DesireeH]

I havent seen it either but I will look for it, when is it on?<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Maybe instead of just bringing it up to him again, present him with research and studies on VBAC's and on home births. Work up an actual plan- including all the "what-if's" and how each would be dealt with. Then maybe he could make a more educated decision on it as well.</td>
</tr></table></div>
I agree with that as well. I hope your dh comes around! That has to be tough. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[girrllie]

I think it runs on Mondays - 8am, 12noon, and 3p.m.<br><br>
That's a good idea about research for my DH. His biggest objection is really just our distance to a hospital in case of transfer for any reason, but especially rupture. I'm going to call around and see if I can get actual time estimates from EMTs.

 

[spiralmg]

It would be hard for me to imagine doing a HB without my DS being in agreement. Of course every situation is different, but....<br><br>
I've been trying to figure out the birthing center vs. homebirth issue for myself too. DS definately is more into the birthing center (which in our case is in a hospital, and last time I ended up in a hospital room, but still birthed naturally). But he has not taken any of hte time I have to do the research or really understand what a homebirth would be about.<br><br>
In my case, I need to make sure I have someone here (midwife etc.) who I really feel comfortable with. My midwives right now are awesome! I just wish they weren't at the birthing center that's anywhere from 1/2 hour to 1 1/2 hours away from here depending on traffic. With subsequent births, you don't know how fast you are going to deliver! Right?!<br><br>
There are only two midwives in town that deliver at home that I have found and I have met with one of them. And there is a MD collective that does homebirth, but you won't know which nurse you are working with until the day fo the birth, and there will be no midwife with them.<br><br>
In our case the "best" hospital in the city is 10 minutes walking distance. But they also have the highest c-section rate, etc. So in case of emergency they would be fine. BUT...<br><br>
It sure is a tough decision. Guess I don't have any advice, just commiseration.

 

[girrllie]

DH and I had a long conversation about it all last night. He brought up some really good points. I still haven't made my decision, but it was helpful to really talk to him about it vs. just making the decision myself. His whole thing is that I'm concentrating on the end, assuming everything will go well. So it's like they have chocolate cake with blue candles and I keep saying I want pink candles.<br><br>
He's more worried about the actual birth and not so much about the actual research. So what if, like last time, it doesn't go so well? Not necessarily rupture, but something else. His point was that at the BC, then the mws are known at the closest hospital. The EMTs also know them in case of emergency transfer, etc. They have relationships, etc. And with a HB, then we would end up tranferring to a hospital where the mw was not known, did not have privileges, could not make demands/requests on my behalf, etc.<br><br>
I do have to say that last time the mw (different center) did stay with me, which I was grateful for. She had them save my placenta and stayed in the OR with me until I was in recovery. She was also very active during my pushing, having me try different positions, etc. So I can imagine how if you were just alone, with no one advocating for you at the hospital, it would be more difficult. Do-able, but probably difficult.<br><br>
Again, just sharing thoughts around it. I have decided to talk to some HB midwives and just see how I feel.

 

[stillill]

I really like the show. I think that the main MW is pushy and comes off a little harsh but she didn't seem overly medical and she definatly knows her vocation. I just like the fact that I don't have to watch one c-sec after another on that channel.

 

[xmasbaby7]

I would explore all of DH's hesitations and figure out if you could find a situation where a HB MW would be welcome as a doula if you were transferred. I would also be sure that the MW was one who took appropriate views of when to transfer before any situtation evolved into an emergency.<br><br>
I just read last week (in Ina May or Dr. Sears?) that the chance of uterine rupture is just less than 2%, which means that there is a greater chance of having a VBAC with no rupture than a c-section with no complications.<br><br>
My DH read Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincente to jump on the HB bandwagon. He got it very quickly that a mother's sense of comfort and control has the best impact on a healthy birth outcome.<br><br>
Good luck!

 

[girrllie]

DH really doesn't get it about the control and comfort factor,which is exactly the point I'm trying to get across to him! He totally said what does it matter who attend me as long as they know what they are doing and are professional. He doesn't think it matters whether I even know them or not. Someone on the ICAN list said to compare it to having sex and whether he could have sex with three strangers cheering him on and analyzing every more and checking him, "wait - stop, we have to check how your hard on is doing," etc. We haven't had time to talk again since they suggested that, but hopefully the comparison will do the trick since he's not an exhibitionist <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">.