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This is number two for us, and i know number 2+++ for some moms here <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> -- so the babymoon will NOT look like it did with Theo<br><br>
but Dh and I are dead-set on there bing one of some sort.<br><br>
My mom is coming again, she was here two weeks with T, then went home, then came back for a week. she is coing to stay with him while we birth -- not sure how long she will stay -- a looong looong time i hope <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Dh will take a week or so when we have the baby -- then go back, then likely work 1/2 days for a week after my mom leaves.<br><br>
Dh and Theo will be doing a new Saturday boys day out / shopping and play day.... they will go each Sat am when Theo wakes up, and they will run all the errands, do all the big shopping (you ahve to go to twon to do anyway) and go to a place place (or two) and have lucnh togeher. This will give me ONE day a week i can sleep late with the baby and a little time alone.<br><br>
Again, save medical appts, this baby will not leave the house till after new years.<br><br>
again we will not travle thanksgiving or christams -- my family has pretty much adopted Iowa as the new holiday location -- and DH's won't come, but too bad i refuse to travel with a new born, and Christmas is in our home, withour tree and kids waking up in their own beds after santa is here (ok my bed <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ).<br><br>
i would looooove to have a mother's helper to come p;ay with T one afternoon a week so i can nap with the baby AND so he can get out and play hard without the baby there...but i have been looking for months and can't find anyone.<br><br>
your thoughts<br><br>
Aimee
 

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My babymoon this time around might be a little better because my husband is now a work at home parent with his own business. Instead of having that little emotional breakdown when our one week of him being home is over - he'll just be here.<br><br>
But three kids 5 and under does not make for much peace, but I will just be thankful that he can take them out and let the baby and I bond and everything. I'm happy/relieved that my little girl has weaned because even though I fully believe in tandem nursing, it does add another responsibility for me during that adjustment period.<br><br>
Now if I can just get her potty trained in the next remaining months - I will be all set!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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We're trying to stick as much money into savings as humanly possible so that DH can take off possibly 2 weeks FMLA when the baby is born. We will have VERY limited visitors during the first week and not leave the house at all. DH will be home to do grocery store runs and we're not going to anyones house for visits. We also won't be going to Thanksgiving but will more than likely do Christmas, but won't stay long and won't play pass the baby without lots of handwashing and have already told people that pass the baby will be VERY limited because I don't want him/her getting way overstimulated...I'll bring my sling and hopefully the baby will sleep the majority of the time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
My mom or MIL might come by after DH returns to work...to help me with James.
 

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Year before last, I had my baby a few days before Christmas. I was worried about having to drag my pads and peri bottle around to our holiday visits with my tiny fresh newborn. Fortunately, I had no tearing or pain down there, and everybody just left my baby alone to sleep. It was a great holiday that year!
 

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I'm trying not to worry about this much...but it's a big source of stress. We're either going to have just moved to a new place or will be moving a few weeks postpartum. Ugh. It's a temp move; we'll be back in CT in August...but the timing really couldn't be worse.<br><br>
We're considering asking one of my sil to help...but I'm not sure if she'll be able to. Thank you for reminding me to get on this.<br><br>
My mom totally let me down with dd2 after "talkin' out her neck" for years about how she was going to "be there" to help us. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: She ended up coming for 48 HOURS over Christmas. And, she's completely clueless about it...or willfully ignorant...I'm not sure. She keeps mentioning this time and I just cut her off and change the subject.<br><br>
What's probably going to happen is we'll have to take out more home equity to pay for a postpartum doula.<br><br>
Why can't I just have a normal family who insists on coming to help us and drives me crazy doing so? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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With ds, my dh had 6 weeks off-4 weeks paternity, 2 weeks vacation. He changed employers so he will probably take 2 weeks vacation this time-no paternity at this job. I am hoping that I will either have made up a bunch of food and put it in the freezer or will have gone to one of those places that does it for you.<br><br>
I am hoping to keep the visits to a minimum. I want to skip Thanksgiving this year too. My mom will probably drop food by for us but I don't think I want to go anywhere.
 

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Well, I'm hoping that DH takes off more time than a day and a half. Maybe two weeks. My mom and MIL were there for us last time, in the sense that one of them came every day to clean and do laundry (my bathrooms have never been so shiny). They mostly left DD and I alone, which was fine.<br><br>
Basically, I'm actually hoping to get out more after the first week. I didn't really go anywhere for 6 weeks after DD was born and I was totally stir crazy and depressed. As soon as it started to get nicer and I could go out every day, I was much happier. This time, I hope to have various playgroups/breastfeeding support groups/library rhyme times lined up so that we have an activity pretty much every day. Not everyone's thing, but I definitely need it, and DD loves getting out of the house and seeing other people.
 

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Should add, re thanksgiving, more than likely DH will go to his family with DS. Baby and I will stay at home. My mom will probably drop food by.
 

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My MIL lives 2 hours away and will be at the birth, so I assume she'll stay for a few days after. She has 2 dogs and one of them is not allowed at our house, so if that dog is still around in November, she'll have to board it, so she won't stay long. My mom and dad and grandparents will come in mid-November and stay for about 2 weeks. They live in NJ and NC (I'm in WI) so they'll drive out and stay through Thanksgiving. My mom, MIL, and Nana will do ALL the cooking, I will watch and taste-test as needed <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
DH plans to go right back to work <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"> Heck, if I give birth in the morning I can see him trying to go in THAT DAY. But I'm hoping to get him to take a few days, mainly to help DD adjust. We're also going to institute official Daddy & Allison days once a week, although I have to admit he is amazing about taking her with him when he runs errands and such. SIL is due about 7 weeks after me, so I expect she and BIL will be over a fair amount for a "preview of coming attractions" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> But they live a mile away, so that's nice- they can pop over for short visits. MIL can't stay with them because NO dogs are allowed at their house. Why she keeps buying more dogs at the expense of time with her sons and grandchild(ren), I will never understand.<br><br>
I'm with the PP who needs to get out though. DD was in her sling and at the craft store with me at about 8 days old. I bought some yarn and a knifty knitter and went wild making hats while pumping every 2 hours for the next 6 weeks (latch/supply issues). We will not be travelling though, until maybe Easter, and then only to MILs two hours away. IF that damn dog is gone!
 

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This COULD be a source of much stress for me but I have chosen in this last week to just let it be and figure it out right then I guess. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Since this is baby #4 for us as well the division of current children (<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ) will be something like my eldest DD and Quinn will be with my mama AFTER I give birth and my middle DD will be with MIL....NOW my mama will be at my birth so I have yet to figure out who will have those two while she is at the hospital with me....I am certain my sister and grandmother will step up to help.....<br><br>
As for the actual babymoon....well I will be having a 4th c-section which means I will be in the hospital 96 hours after delivery approximately. Sounds awful BUT they did just renovate the maternity wing of the hospital so its very much like a hotel with better food an actual fold out couch instead of cot thingy, flat screen tvs, internet etc.....I have to stay that long pretty much because at that time DH will be in the throws of mandatory overtime and he actually wont even get paid time off of any sort until he has like 1 year in at this job which wont be for 6 mos after this babe is here. Atleast that way I have help with the nurses etc and one on one time to establish nursing etc.But geez BLECH! So dh will be there when he can and hopefully be there for delivery. I REPEAT I AM NOT STRESSING. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
Once I get home, it will be really hard because I both want rest and time alone with baby but also I love love love my children and want them around to see the newest sibling so it will be insane for a while. My mama and grandmother will come everyday until I can get around really well by myself...usually 2 weeks...then several days a week after that....since the other kids hopefully will be in s decent routine by this time I only will have to worry about getting up with one babe at night. DH is great about the other kids so I am not worried about that-atleast when he is home to help....<br><br>
Wow that was long!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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This will be our first birth, so I'm planning to relaaaaax. We'll spend the holidays at home and won't be entertaining formally!<br><br>
We live in California, so DH is entitled to 6 weeks of Paid Family Leave for bonding with the new baby, but I know he's probably only going to take a week due to job pressures. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: Regardless, my mom's taking off work to come and look after us. She'll do laundry, cook, clean, etc. If she wasn't available for some reason, I'd totally get a PP doula to help out with that stuff.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">This COULD be a source of much stress for me but I have chosen in this last week to just let it be and figure it out right then I guess</td>
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I want to have a homebirth and my mother has already said that not having a baby in a hospital is like going backwards. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br>
SO... I hope she gets over it and will be there, but not if she is going to hover and make me crazy. She isn't the type to not speak to me or hold a grudge but she will roll eyes and tell me that she thinks I'm crazy.<br>
(ANY ideas or suggestions on how to work this out with family members would be appreciated...maybe another post)<br>
She came to our house when DD was born (while we were at the hospital) and cleaned and got things ready for us to come home, helped with Christmas, and then stayed a week and returned the following weekend so that DH could work some. It was great (except when she left and I cried and cried) because she fed me and did all of the laundry and cleaning and all of that stuff.<br>
Oh, and she won't be keen on the cloth diapering either. She thinks I am getting too 'crunchy' although she doesn't know that word but you all know what I mean.<br>
This is my stress factor.<br>
So, ideally:<br>
My mom will be totally supportive of homebirth and come to our house when we are laboring to occupy DD. We will room in for a week or two while my mom is there to help with the house and DD. DH will also help with DD. Plus, our nephew lives with us and he is great with DD so I hope that they will be able to keep her busy enough to give me some time to bond with new babe and rest.
 

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Well, me personally, I plan to stay in bed or in my bedroom for close to a week. It was my MW's orders last time and I healed so much faster and quit bleeding much earlier. It sounds boring but actually it was so nice to do nothing but nurse, watch TV, sleep, have a few visitors as I wanted, etc. Visitors tend to keep their visits to a minimum when they are sitting in your personal bedroom! DH was around as much as possible and my mom and MIL took turns staying with us, cooking, waiting on me, and entertaining my older child. So I am basically planning on doing that again, and definitely no Thanksgiving travelling for us!<br><br>
Now, who is going to be around to wait on me is still up in the air. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> My DH only gets unpaid leave but the other two times we have managed to have him home for about a week after baby comes. Hopefully that will be our plan again this time. Also babe will hopefully be born around Thanksgiving so some of his time off will be time he would've had to take anyway for the holiday (still unpaid but oh well). It will be a busy time of year for my mom so other than weekends or Thanksgiving break, she probably can't take off any extra time to help. MIL will have just moved back to our area so ideally she will not have started at a new job yet and will have oodles of time to stay with us and help us. And my sister has a pretty flexible schedule. Somehow it worked out last time that I had help for the whole first week, so I have faith it will happen again!<br><br>
After my magical week, life will go back to normal... no extra help, DH back to work, etc. So I really have to enjoy that week!
 

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Well, I'm not really sure how much of a babymoon I'll get. DH won't be here. Ideally, he'll get his R&R around the end of November, but we aren't sure of that yet. I figure this baby will come 1-2 weeks into November. I'm planning to fly my mom out to our house to stay with us about a week before my due date, but she can only stay for 2 weeks and I refuse to be induced. And it's entirely possible I could go even earlier than a week before my due date, so who knows if I'll have her around for the birth or for any time after the birth. It would be nice. I have a lot of friends here, but I don't see them wanting to wait on me. MIL is not planning on coming out and wouldn't want to be at the birth anyway. So, at this point, I have no idea how it will all work out, but I have faith that it will.<br><br>
I have no plans for Thanksgiving, except that maybe dh will be home with us for it. Definitely not going anywhere. My parents and brother and his family would all like to have Christmas together, but dh won't be here and there's no way I'm travelling with 2 small children and a newborn, so they'll all have to come to me if they want Christmas with us.<br><br>
And as for sitting in the house for a certain amount of time, I'll try to lay around for 2-3 days to recover, but I know how I am, and that's about all I'll be able to sit still. I usually feel fine after the first 2 days. And I like to be out and about, so baby will just go in a sling and go with us. Plus once mom leaves I'll still have to take dd to preschool and do all the other errands myself. Won't be much of a babymoon for me.<br><br>
I already told dh that we have to do this one more time just so we can get it right. I was in grad school full time when the first two were born and babies. DD2 actually went to class with me one week postpartum and for an entire month. She just hung out in the sling. This time, I'm the SAHM that I wanted to be back then, so I won't have to ship baby off to daycare, but dh isn't here. He's missing it all. So, next time, I'll be a SAHM still, and dh will be here for the birth and the majority of the first year. Oh, and I'll get an appropriate babymoon! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> We'll get it right some day!
 

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I am very stressed about this... With DS it was a mess, we had to plan visits because both my mom and MIL were coming from out of state and wanted a week with us by themselves.<br><br>
BOTH times they didn't help around the house, I felt that I had visitors pushed on me, neither helped with the cooking much (my mom did once, my MIL not at all)... They had me out of the house and eating at restaurants and such. It was a nightmare.<br><br>
This time around I want no disturbances. I hope that it will be better because we are back around them now. So no staying with us at least. I can see my in-laws offering to have DS and DD over for a few nights at least. I doubt I will get any help with the cooking and cleaning besides DH. Man, I sound really whiny but I just really resent how my post birth activities went for the first few weeks...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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It's telling how many of us non-first timers are stressed about this, isn't it? I'm hoping for peace for all of us, come what may. It's a beautiful time, if we can control the mayhem around us.<br><br>
All of our family is out of state (or, rather, we're out of state from all of them), so help will take a while to arrive. My mother-in-law will more than likely come and stay as long as she can, probably a week or two. My mom still works, and probably will visit on a weekend, at most. That's just the way she is, and I'm used to it.<br><br>
My husband will likely stay home for a week or two. We'll stay home for Thanksgiving. If we stay home for Christmas, we will be lonely, as everyone's so far away. Though I've always wanted to stay home for Christmas!<br><br>
I'm not sure what to do with the kids during the birth. I sure wish homebirth was an option for us this time. I'm just hoping we can make it to the birth center in time to have the baby there, and not on the way--adding the kids to the mix adds a lot of complication!
 

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we're hoping to "get it right" this time too! we had ONE simple rule for our 2 previous births...<br><br>
absolutely NO visits for the first 48 hours. not alot to ask, huh?? and everyone respected it... except MIL, who called us up, crying her eyes out, on dd's freakin' birthday, only hours after the birth.. going on and on about how we were trying to block her out, blah blah blah. we had clearly said 48 hours to rest/bond with baby, then visit all you like. it was very stressful, and she ended up coming at about 24 hours post partum, all fake smiles and wanting us to open gifts, etc.<br><br>
this time, i don't care if we have to change the locks on our house and hire a private guard, NO one (except midwives) will be getting thru our door until 48 hours have passed. luckily, MIL has now moved 9 hours away (she was just 20 mins away before), sooo, i'm hoping that i will labour/birth late at night, then we 'just can't call' in the middle of the night, so we'll have to wait until morning, and then we'll have at least 10ish hours of lead time LOL. or perhaps, this time, MIL will get a freakin' clue! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
really, i've heard of other women who ask for at least a week, two weeks, or more with no visitors (and that sounds so lovely! i wish we could do it without family wars!). really, 48 hours is not alot to ask. our midwife thinks that we should just not call her after the birth, but i know that would incite a riot as well <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
oh, and absolutely no one is staying with us after the birth. mil will have to stay with my bil. we have thanksgiving in october here (CND), so we don't have to worry about that. as a compromise (ie, we don't want to drive 9 hours with a newborn), we've offered to host xmas at our house this year, and we'll have 2-3 days of insanity, and then everyone will go home and leave us in peace LOL
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">We live in California, so DH is entitled to 6 weeks of Paid Family Leave for bonding with the new baby</td>
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Oh my gosh! I had no idea that was here in CA. I am checking it out now. I know the hubster will still have to do some work since he's running the show and trying to earn bonuses, but to get PAID to be home with us is dreamy. I hope we're eligible.<br><br>
*sigh* it's PARTIAL pay. When living off one paycheck, that's just about impossible for us. I doubt we can swing it. 5 months won't be long enough to get savings stocked away by then. We'll see what happens, but I doubt this will work for us.
 

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We planned to Babymoon as many days as we could by calling my husband's family, who live locally, after the birth but "scheduling" them for up to a week later. They'll be having fits all over the place! I don't care.<br><br>
But three other problems exist...<br><br>
My older kids will need to be taken to and from school by someone.<br><br>
One of my good friends has been pressuring me to let her be here for the birth. More than pressure, she's just flat out said, she will be here and she's hurt when I tell her no. It would be nice to have her as a secret weapon if I feel I need her -- I could call. But she makes me NOT want to call at all. I may also need her for the kids or to let my mom stay with her a day or two, but by telling her I am in labor, I could be starting something. And after the baby is born, she may or may not respect our wishes.<br><br>
My mother, who is against my homebirth, wants to be here for a month BEFORE my due date and a week or two after. She may go stay with my friend when I go into labor so she isn't here sprinkling negativity on everything. But who knows. I want my kids here and they will need someone to attend to them, but both mom and my friend seem to not be agreeing to what I need.<br><br>
I also need to discuss with her that I may not go for a few weeks after the due date and NO I am not afraid. See, I was born a month overdue and could have died she says. I got stuck (was almost 12 pounds) and still have a brachioplexus nerve injury (Erbs Palsy) in my left arm from the interventions the doc used to pull me out. I had two swollen, black eyes, etc...<br><br>
But I am a big girl with big bones and birthing hips and not afraid of delivering a bit larger baby. My midwife says they help twist baby out instead of yanking. I don't expect to be THAT overdue, of course, but I don't need moms extra nervousness over the homebirth and a big baby. She is so sure I will have Gestational Diabetes or Toxemia and the baby will die if birthed at home.<br><br>
While I want her help that month, it is a pain too. She always pressures me about my MIL, and she cooks different things than we do, she can get bitchy, etc... And I get NO quiet time - EVER. I am used to lots of Q time! I'd hate to see us having a huge fight just because she is who she is and I am in late pregnancy and acting like a lion with a thorn in my paw, you know?<br><br>
So who knows how well the Babymoon will go! As best we can, but not as great as I'd like.
 

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Last time was pretty hectic for us but I think we'll be able to avoid that this time. MIL wanted to come over the next day and she brought DD's 2 young cousins. Luckily it went ok b/c they only stayed for an hour or so. Then when DD was 3 weeks old, my mom, my brother, my other brother,his wife, and their 4 year old were all staying in our 1 bdrm apartment for 2 weeks <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: .<br><br>
This time, DH will have 7-10 days off and my mom will come when he goes back to work. She told me she would stay for 2 weeks but she told my brother that she planned to be here for a month or two <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: . No way in hell. 2 weeks max. Luckily last time she helped cooking but she is someone who always needs to be doing something so I was driving her around for much of that 2 weeks. She wants to be here for the birth too but I'm not really into that. I think it would just block some energy I need to get primal in labor.<br><br>
My MIL/FIL and SIL/family live half an hour away each so they'll probably help out with DD and bring some meals but won't be staying with us. My SIL was at the birth last time and I think she'll be there this time too for moral support and to take pics. She was awesome last time.
 
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