You better get your own cup of tea--this is long, too! We are still trying to figure this out ourselves and DS is 21 mo's old! It doesn't help that I'm the SAHP. I can't help but feel I *should* do the nighttime parenting since dh has to be at work, interact w/ people w/out going postal and be capable of coherent thought and speech. I don't need those luxuries
and theoretically I could nap during the day. Anyway, so I"ve never really asked that much of DH at night. But we have to nightwean at this point for a variety of reasons and he's been doing a lot more. What we do now is when ds awakes dh will pull him on top of him. DS likes this and will go to sleep, and now is at the point that he will sit up and reach for dh. But...it is very hard to sleep w/ a 30# toddler on top of you. DH has kind of perfected rolling him off him w/out waking him but I haven't. I slept w/ him half on my face from 3-5am today.
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OTOH, on a Yahoo group that I belong to, a mom detailed her extensive nightweaning process, which included her husband walking their 3 yr old for at least an hour in the sling, and then sleeping upright all night in a recliner. Every night. For 30 days. I don't think my DH could do that. Heck, I don't think I could do that!!! Anyway, when I read that I read it to DH and that made him feel a lot better about the 30# toddler on his chest.
So...you could have your husband rock, walk, pat, shush, or cuddle your dc. It took us at least a week of trying different things before we found a way to get DS settled down to accept dh. I've read how moms leave the room and force the issue but that won't work for us since ds will get hysterical and try to come and find me. Although maybe now it would, but it def. wouldn't have in the beginning. It's a big change in their routine, or at least it was for our son.
Good luck! Personally, even w/ dh doing 50% or more of the nighttime parenting I'm still exhaused. Oh well, at least it isn't 30 days in the Lazyboy...
ETA on letting go of the NP role--I think desperation was the key for me. At first I would get soooooo irritated. "Don't hold him like that! That's not what he wants! Why are you letting him get up!!" etc. Try to avoid that if at all possible--it led to many unpleasant 2am quarrels. After a couple of horrible nights DH and DS found their groove and it just got better. Maybe tell yourself, I'll let him try for 3 nights and then I'll step in and do it again. Again, though, it took us at least a week.


OTOH, on a Yahoo group that I belong to, a mom detailed her extensive nightweaning process, which included her husband walking their 3 yr old for at least an hour in the sling, and then sleeping upright all night in a recliner. Every night. For 30 days. I don't think my DH could do that. Heck, I don't think I could do that!!! Anyway, when I read that I read it to DH and that made him feel a lot better about the 30# toddler on his chest.
So...you could have your husband rock, walk, pat, shush, or cuddle your dc. It took us at least a week of trying different things before we found a way to get DS settled down to accept dh. I've read how moms leave the room and force the issue but that won't work for us since ds will get hysterical and try to come and find me. Although maybe now it would, but it def. wouldn't have in the beginning. It's a big change in their routine, or at least it was for our son.
Good luck! Personally, even w/ dh doing 50% or more of the nighttime parenting I'm still exhaused. Oh well, at least it isn't 30 days in the Lazyboy...
ETA on letting go of the NP role--I think desperation was the key for me. At first I would get soooooo irritated. "Don't hold him like that! That's not what he wants! Why are you letting him get up!!" etc. Try to avoid that if at all possible--it led to many unpleasant 2am quarrels. After a couple of horrible nights DH and DS found their groove and it just got better. Maybe tell yourself, I'll let him try for 3 nights and then I'll step in and do it again. Again, though, it took us at least a week.