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(This is a long one--you might want to make yourself a cup of tea before reading so you don't get dehydrated or something.) We had the night from h-e-l-l last night. DD woke up at 2:30 and while she was being really sweet, just would not settle back down to sleep. She wanted to crawl around on the bed, pat Daddy's face to wake him up, give us kisses, kick her feet, etc. I almost always nurse her back down during the night--she pops off when she falls into deep sleep. But nursing her didn't work last night. She'd nurse, I'd start to get sore because her latch wasn't very tight, and then I'd try to pop her off and she'd wake up out of her drowse.
I started to get cranky after an hour. DH woke up and took her out of the room and tried to walk her to sleep. After about a half-hour, they came back because she was *almost* to sleep. I put her back on to nurse the rest of the way down, but again, she woke up as soon as she was off the breast. Another half hour, and I was losing it. I put her in her pack and play because I was SO OVER being kicked in the stomach, laying her back down when she was trying to crawl/stand/pull my hair, and she ended up crying for about 10 minutes. I thought at that point that she might be exhausted enough to sleep, so it was back to our bed and the boob. AGAIN, no luck. I got up at 5:00, took her upstairs and rocked her to sleep in the nursery. She fell asleep, but then woke up as soon as I laid her in her crib and started shrieking. That happened twice. I finally dosed her with Tylenol at 5:30, thinking maybe she was having teething trouble. She conked out and I had to wake her at 7:15 to nurse her, dress her and take her to our caregiver.
I got pretty cranky with DH in the night. I know it was mainly just because I was upset at the situation, but I am really feeling like I am the only one able to parent DD in the night. He is frustrated because he wants to help, but I often don't even wake him to help parent her back to sleep because I think part of me thinks he can't/won't do the right things, and so when he is trying to get her to sleep, I can't sleep. I just lie there and think about how I should be the one who is up and getting her to sleep because I'll "do it right." But I also know that if he doesn't get a chance to try, he'll never figure it out and the whole thing will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So I need some help from you guys: how do your husbands/partners parent your little ones in the night? How can I learn to let go of this role?
I started to get cranky after an hour. DH woke up and took her out of the room and tried to walk her to sleep. After about a half-hour, they came back because she was *almost* to sleep. I put her back on to nurse the rest of the way down, but again, she woke up as soon as she was off the breast. Another half hour, and I was losing it. I put her in her pack and play because I was SO OVER being kicked in the stomach, laying her back down when she was trying to crawl/stand/pull my hair, and she ended up crying for about 10 minutes. I thought at that point that she might be exhausted enough to sleep, so it was back to our bed and the boob. AGAIN, no luck. I got up at 5:00, took her upstairs and rocked her to sleep in the nursery. She fell asleep, but then woke up as soon as I laid her in her crib and started shrieking. That happened twice. I finally dosed her with Tylenol at 5:30, thinking maybe she was having teething trouble. She conked out and I had to wake her at 7:15 to nurse her, dress her and take her to our caregiver.
I got pretty cranky with DH in the night. I know it was mainly just because I was upset at the situation, but I am really feeling like I am the only one able to parent DD in the night. He is frustrated because he wants to help, but I often don't even wake him to help parent her back to sleep because I think part of me thinks he can't/won't do the right things, and so when he is trying to get her to sleep, I can't sleep. I just lie there and think about how I should be the one who is up and getting her to sleep because I'll "do it right." But I also know that if he doesn't get a chance to try, he'll never figure it out and the whole thing will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So I need some help from you guys: how do your husbands/partners parent your little ones in the night? How can I learn to let go of this role?