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· Registered
2,162 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, my mom is always so nosy and so hateful except towards my son.

Well, anyways as I stated before she called the cps on me and so she set me up with Adult DDS service which I told her i don't need and now they are thinking of maybe I don't need their service at all because I already have so much people in my life that I got on my own.

Anyways, what would you do if you had a friend who your mom hates totally and never says anything good about her and tries to make your friend not seem to be your friend and your friend was in need of a place to stay for awhile.

I offered my friend to stay at my place and she can only be here for a week. So I didn't tell my mom that because it's none of her buisness who I have here and why.

So then when my mom came home from camping she saw my friend walking up the trail said she saw sandi walking and I am like 'so' ? Then she started making fun of how she was dressed and laughing .

Then she picked us up today and then she saw my friend out in the back and go I knew it.

She goes I do not like you lying to me or you sneaking around you did that when you were younger and I still do not like it.

Then I said mom so she's staying with me and I did not lie to you because you did not ask if 'she was staying here if you did I would have said yes.

Then I had to spend the whole darn morning of her doing her hate talk of my friend the reason why i didn't want my mom to see my friend was too avoid hearing my mom nasty attitude about her plus I do not want to end up having negative truth pile ontop of my head.

Plus, I know that my mom and my friend would butt heads if they ran smack into each other.

Then she was like going at least five times She's using you she only needs you when she needs something that is not friend material.

She does not know my friend my friend has helped with my cleaning, she never hounds me, she helped me get stuff for cleaning, and helped with my son when I was sick . She got me stuff from the store when I was sick.

I even try to tell my mom of how tough of life my friend life is and she is just so heartless that she goes so who cares ?

MY friend life is tough at least 5 x triple times and my mom doesn't have a heart to even show sympathy for that.

· Registered
3,300 Posts
Don't give into your Mom's bad energy. It sounds like she loves to lay all this
ugly energy, bad talk on you. You don't have to listen to it. She will continue
until the game isn't fun for her any longer. Don't defend your choices. Don't
talk about it at all. Let her talk and talk, ignore it. You can use my line if you
want. When somebody is talking about something I don't want to talk about I
say "Hmmm, interesting, that is something to think about". If they keep talking
I just keep repeating myself.

She has to be used to you listening, defending yourself, or you engaging in the
conversation or she would have stopped a long time ago. You keep living your
life any way you see fit for your ds and yourself. Let your Mom run her mouth,
she'll get bored eventually.

· Registered
558 Posts
Ask her, "Did your mother criticize every decision you made, and if so, how did that make you feel when you were trying to become a responsible young woman? Did it help you or hurt you?"

Bottom line, whether or not your mom is "right" or wrong about your friend, it's your decison, your situation to learn from, and Hey, sometimes even a person who is "using" you for your hospitality and generosity, but is contributing to your household and to your peace of mind, is WORTH helping anyway. What's wrong with helping a poor soul out? Being a single mom can be pretty lonely, and having a friend about is nice.

Tell your mom how what she does to you with regards to your choices makes you feel (write it all down first). And if she is not exactly receptive, then tell her that you are going to have to avoid her more and more, because you have to give yourself a real chance to make your own decisions about people/whatever without her unsolicited help that messes with your head. Pay attention to how she responds to this, record it in your journal, let her have some time to think about it, maybe bring it up again in an uncharged moment (not when you're arguing) and see how she's thinking about it.

Personally, I've never been able to successfully use the "Ignore her" approach. I finally realized my critical mother was wrecking my life, and I gave mine the heave-ho. She has a lot of great qualities, but none of them is worth having to hear her criticism of everything I do. I am so much happier. I wish I'd done it right after graduating high school.

Maybe you can nip your situation in the bud. There are some great books about mother daughter relationships. Totally worth reading up on it if you have a critical mom who just won't butt out. Google it: "mother daughter relationships," that sort of thing. It would be great if your mom could listen and really hear you. I think some mothers and daughters can grow up together that way, and some just aren't going to no matter what you do or say.
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