[doublyblessed]

how do those of you, like me, who do not have others around that you trust w/ your younger dc, who have more than one dc spend regular quality one on one time w/ your dc???

i have a 16.5 mo ds. we live w/ my mother. i do not have anyone else i feel close to or trust. i cannot afford daycare. (nor do i wish to put my son in daycare even if i could...) my mother works from 2-midnight. lately she rarely has more than 1 day off, if that... so the only time i have to be w/ my dd who is 6.5yo is between the hours of about 11am and 1pm, when my mother is up. but usally my mother is getting her face on for about 2 hours (12pm to 2pm) before she takes off...so really, this limits the alone time i can have w/ my dd... she is hurting for some alone time w/ me on a regular basis. she just isn't getting it. i've explained this to my mother...but nothing has stayed consistent...

also, during those morning hours certain days (3x a week at least) my mom will watch my ds while i go off to counseling or group therapy but my dd is in kindergarten during this time so that cancels out our even being able to be together.

what to do???!!! i don't trust easily so finding someone else to watch my ds is not an easy task for me...i have anxiety and that just increases it.

i will do my best to have my mother commit to at least ONE weekday per week so i can be w/ my dd for a few hours but still, that is only ONE day per week...!!!

my dd is so full of anger and defiance and rudeness and it only upsets me and then i feel angry and snippy and withdraw from her...its a vicious cycle that i need to break for our family. i know she is just hurting and missing being w/ me alone...

 

[sunflowers]

I don't have any awesome solution but I wonder if the baby naps or maybe you could try to entice the baby to start taking a nap or "alone" time during the afternoon (in his crib or other safe place where he can play quietly).

My son- although he is 16yo- also looks for some one-on-one time with me. We find that time after the baby goes to bed. We play video games or watch movies. Maybe that might work for you, too? A "late" night with mommy once a week on Friday or Sat might work if it's regular and consistant.

It's a tough situation, I can tell. You are a great mom for seeing that your dd needs you to herself sometimes. It can be missed by a lot of mothers I know IRL.

 

[doublyblessed]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunflowers I don't have any awesome solution but I wonder if the baby naps or maybe you could try to entice the baby to start taking a nap or "alone" time during the afternoon (in his crib or other safe place where he can play quietly). My son- although he is 16yo- also looks for some one-on-one time with me. We find that time after the baby goes to bed. We play video games or watch movies. Maybe that might work for you, too? A "late" night with mommy once a week on Friday or Sat might work if it's regular and consistant. It's a tough situation, I can tell. You are a great mom for seeing that your dd needs you to herself sometimes. It can be missed by a lot of mothers I know IRL.

thanx. maybe i'll start w/ a sat night movie w/ just her after ds is asleep...i also bought myself a bike today and dd and i will get some biking time alone-especially when my mother is off...

 

[MsChatsAlot]

It gets easier as they get older. When my kids were little, I did use nap time or bedtime to spend with the other one. I had one who went to bed a little earlier and woke a little earlier, so there was often a small pocket of time for one on one.

As they got older, they had different interests and I just found a little time to do something with each of them and time all together.

If it's your intention to create some time, I have no doubt you'll find it.