[JuliaBer]

Hi everybody!

First i apologize for my english, it's not my first language... But i'm learning!

I have a daughter (11). She really have problems with a few boys in her class. They grabbing her on the breast and on the but... We already had two discussions with the teachers, but it don't really helped (or just for few weeks). What would you do? What should my girl do when something like that happens? Have anybody experience with that kind of situation?

Best regards, Julia

 

[beedub]

Well the problem is with the boys, not your daughter, so I would be persistent and insistent that the school addresses them in a more serious manner. I would probably tell my daughter to kick them in their privates. Just me. That might get them to stop.

 

[JuliaBer]

Well the problem is with the boys, not your daughter, so I would be persistent and insistent that the school addresses them in a more serious manner. I would probably tell my daughter to kick them in their privates. Just me. That might get them to stop.

I try to put the school under pressure, but it have to stop now. And you know how slow schools can be...
I'm not really fan of kicking males in their privates, i think that's dangerous..

 

[kathymuggle]

I'm not really fan of kicking males in their privates, i think that's dangerous..

I am not sure your daughter needs to worry about kneeing them being dangerous for boys if those boys are grabbing her breasts. She has a right to defend herself and if she hurts them, oh well.

If the school cannot make it stop (and likely they can't) I would remove my daughter from that school.

Oh, and your English is fantastic

kathy

 

[JuliaBer]

I am not sure your daughter needs to worry about kneeing them being dangerous for boys if those boys are grabbing her breasts. She has a right to defend herself and if she hurts them, oh well.

If the school cannot make it stop (and likely they can't) I would remove my daughter from that school.

Oh, and your English is fantastic

kathy

Shure, my daughter is more important than the boys in this case and she have the right to defend herself! But what is when a boy get hurt there? He will never be able to habe kids! These are hard consequences! Do you habe a daughter?

Thanks! Let me know when there are mistakes!

 

[mumto1]

Self defense

I punched a bully in the face once (grade 7/8), it stopped him bothering me. The school I was in was indifferent to students well being, we had no supervision at lunch, it was like Lord of the Flies. I have never before or since punched anyone else. That did happen a very long time ago. Things may have changed now, my son was wrestling/roughhousing with a girl when he was still in elementary school and was practically accused of sexual assault!! It's hard for me to conjecture what actually happened there, my son may do inappropriate things but he's not aggressive.

There are a lot of articles about these issues if you google it:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/27/e...sexual-assault-case-at-elementary-school.html

http://www.citynews.ca/2008/02/22/girls-accepting-sexual-assault-at-school-as-fact-of-life-reports/

 

[kathymuggle]

Shure, my daughter is more important than the boys in this case and she have the right to defend herself! But what is when a boy get hurt there? He will never be able to habe kids! These are hard consequences! Do you habe a daughter?

Thanks! Let me know when there are mistakes!

...Ok, because you asked....

It is "sure" not "shure."

I have 2 daughters - aged 14 and 18.

I tend to think infertility from being kicked in the groin is rare - lots of men get groin injuries (be it knee based or from sports) and most do not have infertility issues. That being said, if you are a teenage boy going around feeling girls breast without permission - it is quite likely you will be kneed/slapped. etc. Groping someones breast without permission is a low level sexual assault in my opinion, and if you end up kneed, you deserve it. Likely you will not end up infertile, but you might.

For the record, I also have a son - aged 21, and a husband of 23 years. I am no man hater

Also for the record: my opinion is that she might need to be in a different school if the problem is wide spread at her current school. (if it is just one offender you may be able to intervene successfully). Until such time as she is no longer in this environment, she does need to be able to defend herself physically if she is assaulted. She can go to the school, but as you said, that isn't working.....

 

[stormborn]

Your English is fine.
I have two daughters (8 and 15) and in that situation they are expected to go the the adults in charge first, of course, but if that fails they know that my husband and I will back them up when they handle it themselves.

11 is old enough for those boys to know that if they violate someone else's body they will probably get hurt, and they chose to take that risk.

 

[Arduinna]

I suppose you could go to the parents of these boys, but I'd absolutely tell my daughter to kick them in the groin if telling them off and shoving them away isn't working. What they're doing is unacceptable and needs to stop now. And yes I have a daughter, that is now an adult. The only time she had issues with boys, I told the boys off myself and went to their parents with it.

 

[jasmin1990]

I'd say she needs to act decisively (kick sounds good) right away. It will send a signal to the boy and to everyone else that she is not to be messed with!

 

[Letitia]

Are you in the US?

If so, you could try talking to a lawyer. Someone with experience in sexual harrassment law. Lawyers are ridiculously expensive, but the first time you meet with them, when you talk about what's going on and figure out if they can help you, is generally free.

At that point, after you have talked to a lawyer, you could advise the school that the behavior needs to stop and, if there are any more problems, future communication will be coming through your lawyer. Often the threat of legal involvement is enough to get someone off their butt.

What you are describing is horrible. If your daughter doesn't want to kick anyone in the nuts but wants to fight back physically, a good kick to the shins is also very painful. She would have to be wearing the right shoes or it would also hurt her. For any fighting back, she'd have to be in a place where she'd be safe from more violence in retaliation.

**I can see that I've got at least one typo up there, but I don't have my glasses on so it's all a blur to me anyway

 

[hillymum]

Can you do some practice scenes with your daughter and get her to react verbally? Her voice is a wonderful weapon against assault, especially in a place where there are other people. She can practice shouting phrases such as "Stop, I said don't touch me" "Stop, you're a pervert, get away from me" "Stop, I said don't touch me". If it continues then yes, she may want to physically defend herself.

As to how to approach the school, go in, talk to the principle, write a letter and state clearly if the perpetrators are not dealt with to your satisfaction you will go to the school board (the head of the school district) to discuss the issue.

 

[JuneBrown]

If this matter cannot be solved in an easy way then I would suggest you to contact a lawyer. He can take necessary steps to prevent all this.

 

[Markons92]

Talk to the parents of those boys, especially with their mother. I would advise my daughter to grab their intimate part, the one that hurts the most when it's squeezed.