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My 17 (almost 18) month old daughter and I were at the park this evening and a group of 3 girls came and were playing in the sandbox. My daughter had her sand toys there and the girls appropriated them and were playing "cooking" with somebody else's big sand tower toy and our toys (none of them had their own.)
They were playing and my daughter stood near them watching for the longest time. She didn't do anything, she just watched. They did not engage her at all. These were older girls, btw -- probably around age 7 or 8. Finally, she grew fascinated by the way the sand was sinking into the tower toy and put her hand in the sand to feel the sand rushing down.
"NO NOOOOO NOOOOO!!!" they shrieked and looked at me like I'm supposed to make her stop. I smiled and said "She wants to play, too." When it became obvious I wasn't going to stop my daughter from "interfering" in their play (really, truly... she wasn't hurting anything.) They picked up the toys and said "let's move away."
My daughter made a move as if to follow them and was told, "We don't want to play with YOU."
Now, I know I have my own issues. No one wanted to play with me either - I spent most of my school career playing alone during recess. But I don't want my girl to hear that! It's awful. I understand older girls not wanting to play with babies, but can't they be nice?
I didn't really respond to it. It was late in our park day, anyway, so I just went over to them and quietly said "Since you don't want to play with us, I think we're going to take our toys and go home." So I took the toys away from them and we went home.
But I wanted to cry. I wanted to say something like "You were a baby girl not very long ago. I hope the big girls were nicer to you then you are choosing to be now." But they wouldn't understand that anyway and what would be the point.
I know I'm going to have to handle this kind of thing, but I am fighting an impulse to NEVER go to the park or anyplace there might be a child who will reject her.
:
Could I have handled it better? What can I say to my girl? I know she likely didn't understand what happened, but she will. What do I say then?
They were playing and my daughter stood near them watching for the longest time. She didn't do anything, she just watched. They did not engage her at all. These were older girls, btw -- probably around age 7 or 8. Finally, she grew fascinated by the way the sand was sinking into the tower toy and put her hand in the sand to feel the sand rushing down.
"NO NOOOOO NOOOOO!!!" they shrieked and looked at me like I'm supposed to make her stop. I smiled and said "She wants to play, too." When it became obvious I wasn't going to stop my daughter from "interfering" in their play (really, truly... she wasn't hurting anything.) They picked up the toys and said "let's move away."
My daughter made a move as if to follow them and was told, "We don't want to play with YOU."
Now, I know I have my own issues. No one wanted to play with me either - I spent most of my school career playing alone during recess. But I don't want my girl to hear that! It's awful. I understand older girls not wanting to play with babies, but can't they be nice?
I didn't really respond to it. It was late in our park day, anyway, so I just went over to them and quietly said "Since you don't want to play with us, I think we're going to take our toys and go home." So I took the toys away from them and we went home.
But I wanted to cry. I wanted to say something like "You were a baby girl not very long ago. I hope the big girls were nicer to you then you are choosing to be now." But they wouldn't understand that anyway and what would be the point.
I know I'm going to have to handle this kind of thing, but I am fighting an impulse to NEVER go to the park or anyplace there might be a child who will reject her.

Could I have handled it better? What can I say to my girl? I know she likely didn't understand what happened, but she will. What do I say then?