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I don't know if you could also make a (probably more basic) argument that spanking is going to conflict with what you would like to teach her about her "private area" i.e. it's for her alone and certainly is not meant to be hurt by anyone. It might make him think more in a protective dad kind of way, what type of example is he setting for future relationships - do men hurt? do they hit? do they hurt you where you are vulnerable? dads can have such a positive influence, it would be sad to think otherwise.

My daughter was horrified when she heard about spankings at preschool. "Mama, did you know some parents HIT their kids on their PRIVATE AREA?! You aren't supposed to touch someone's private area even, and their mommy/daddy hits them on it!"

I've always found that aspect a little creepy myself, when you think about it. Not that common society or most people think about it that way, but the buttocks are an erogenous zone, and there is some sort of weird sexual/power thing that comes to mind. Why hit a kid somewhere you spend so much time teaching is private and not be shared with the whole world.

When you ask him about his last spanking, maybe also ask - how did you feel about your mom? Do you want your daughter to feel that way about you? Did you feel ashamed/angry/hurt/surprised that someone you love acted this way towards you? I was spanked a LOT as a kid as well - these were the emotions that have always stood out for me, and why I'd never do the same.
 
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