Mothering Forum banner

21 - 24 of 24 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
12 Posts
<p>I feel and understand your pain. I have been a home birth midwife for going on 18 years and a CPM since 1999. Mother of four, homeschooling kids.</p>
<p>Three of those four kids are adults now (27, 23, 21) ... and the youngest, 16, will complete home high school in two years. They all grew up with a</p>
<p>midwife mom, who looked to them to help as they could to make the household function even when she wasn't there. They all learned how to cook</p>
<p>and prepare meals, clean up after themselves, do the laundry, and complete their school assignments.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a class="H-lightbox-open" href="http://www.mothering.com/community/content/type/61/id/675262/width/1000/height/800/flags/" target="_blank"><img alt="Kim2_Sept2010a.jpg" class="lightbox-enabled" data-id="29250" data-type="61" height="168" src="http://www.mothering.com/community/content/type/61/id/29250/width/117/height/168" style="float:left;width:117px;height:168px;" width="117"></a>  Things are different without a houseful of little kids, but not necessarily easier. My last teen at home continues to take responsibility for his schoolwork</p>
<p>  and his household chores. What I have done this year to really make a difference for me is that I hired my 21 year old daughter to clean my house and</p>
<p>  my office. I have joined a local gym and regularly schedule "take care of me" activities so that my own personal management is now a priority rather</p>
<p>  than bringing up the rear or on the back burner. I do my own hair color (going RED when I divorced my EX), but I pay someone to cut it! I have my nails</p>
<p>  done every 2-3 weeks and have a massage once/quarter. Weight management is ALWAYS a challenge, especially as one approaches 50 years old,</p>
<p>  like me... but I have DECIDED that my physical and mental GOOD health are KEY to having a balanced life, and thus essential to care for rather than</p>
<p>  neglect. When I was younger I did neglect and not think about myself enough. That has changed! It is MY TURN to take care of ME!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  I am the consummate "DIVA" midwife. I love shoes and great clothes. I take the time EVERYDAY to look good, because it DOES help me FEEL GOOD</p>
<p>  about myself! I do my hair & makeup and I dress up... EVERYDAY!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Those of you younger, greener midwives have learned much from your mentors... learn this lesson as well. Do not WAIT... TAKE TIME for you NOW.</p>
<p>FIND the time... MAKE the time... PRIORITIZE YOURSELF as you care for your families and your clients.</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
754 Posts
Discussion Starter #22
<p>So much great advice! Since I posted this I have made some major changes. I started squirling away some of the small amount of money I do make (doula,CBE,Etc.) to spend on a few new to me things now and then and finally broke down and got a hair cut. I also started doing Zumba 3 days a week and it has been amazing. I think doing something physical and not having to think about ANYTHING, not my kids, not money, not my clients, not the NARM----only about not tripping over my own feet has given me 3 hours a week of blankness. And oh I needed that. The music is liberating. You can yell and shout and move around to what ever feels good (kind of like labor:).  I have also started to slowly drop some of the extra weight.</p>
<p>I also decided after much thought to try my oldest two kids out in public school next year just to see where it goes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I was going to wait until after the NARM to set out on my own but after much thought and discussion with my preceptors it was decided that I am ready now and I may not even take the NARM at all. So I guess I am officially a midwife!  Still working with my preceptors for more experience and they are paying me a very small amount for my help while we try to figure out how to make a potential partnership work.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So a lot of postitive changes for me. Keep up the great ideas.</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12 Posts
<p>What do you mean you won't take the NARM... of course you should take the NARM ! And you should keep it current after your initial certification. You don't know where life's circumstances will take you and you may want or need to move one day. NARM certification is</p>
<p>recognized in 27 states and that grows by 1-3 new states each year! Realistically, in under 10 years the CPM will be recognized across</p>
<p>the U.S. in all 50 states! Licensure is likely to be required to practice and so take the steps NOW to get your NARM Certification before</p>
<p>further changes are made in the educational and clinical requirements. If you have "the numbers"... TAKE THE EXAM!</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
754 Posts
Discussion Starter #24
<p>I had planned on taking the NARM. The problem is that there are not any local CPM's to sign off births. Most of the midwives in the area(8) don't support the CPM credential. And the big problem is that the main preceptor I did my training with was denied preceptor status due to not being on her own long enough.She was short about 6 months but they told her I couldn't count any numbers until she was approved(so nothing retroactively) It has been one headache after another. I went through the channels to approve another midwife I worked with as a preceptor but she is so difficult to work with. I am going to continue to fill out all my my paperwork. That is the problem the PEP paperwork is a nightmare and I have had to redo so many things. I will continue to work with this particular approved midwife, but she has 3 other apprentices and tends to only call me in on complicated births(twins breech etc.) where I am there as a second midwife. I feel weird using these as "primary births" because I am not acting as primary but as a second (on my own ) midwife. The hoops are crazy. I have attended over 100 births but only 8 of them "count" according to NARM.</p>
<p>Makes me want to scream!!! When I contacted NARM they recomended going to a high volume birth center and I argued with them about how that affects midwives families and how it doesn't impact the local community in a positive way. They said it wasn't their problem and if I really had a problem being away from my family maybe I should wait until my kids were older to persue midwifery. Quite condescending! I have been a doula and CBE for 8 years and an apprentice for 3 my family has held up just fine. I also commented on the fact that if they require only CPM's to be preceptors they are going to loose a lot of potential students that would take the NARM and they replied that was their goal to have everyone be a CPM and weed out the rest. Really???Incredibly frustrating doesn't even begin to state my feelings.</p>
 
21 - 24 of 24 Posts
Top