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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm not pregnant yet, but wanting another one soon. I have an extremely clingy, high-needs 3yo who is gifted and emotionally/verbally advanced, so explaining things and reasoning with her are no problem. She totally gets what is going on.

But she has to be entertained ALL. THE. TIME. It seriously drives me bananas. I remember being pregnant with her and I was laid up in bed for weeks and weeks during my pregnancy. At the beginning, I would sleep all day long and nothing could keep me awake. It was like I was drugged. After that, the morning sickness (for me, all-day sickness) was debilitating and I lay in bed all day, unable to move.

I live on an island with no friends and no family at all who can help me. I have no money whatsoever for a sitter or a nanny. My husband works about ten hours a day, six days a week, so he won't be able to help me much.

What do you all who have older kids do when you are pregnant and after you have the baby? How do you help your older ones feel loved? How do you manage to care for them when it's so difficult to get out of bed?

I'm already trying to wean her off of so much attention. I know she needs it, but I think it would be better to pry her off of me gradually than all at once when I'm completely hormonal. What techniques did/do you use with your other kids when you just can't do it?

My list so far:

-prepour drinks into cups and snacks into snack bags and keep on bottom shelf of fridge so she can serve herself

-teach her to finally wipe her own bottom properly

-have tons of new toys on hand that she can play with by herself that I can rotate on a daily basis

-TV (which I hate! We don't even own one, but I'm considering it at this point, I'm that scared)


Edit: She also has her own computer (DH is a geek) so if you know of any other good games for young kids besides Starfall, she can probably play that some of the time. Her level is around age 6, so anything between 3 and 6 age-wise is great.

633 Posts
I am not an expert by any means, but I am 28-weeks pregnant and have a 3 year-old DS. The first trimester was hard energy-wise, and nausea almost overwhelmed me at times. DS does not play independently often.

We are exploring audio books and DS loves them so much. He loves to be read to and will ask for books all day, so having some recordings can help during those times that I need to rest my body and mind.
We also have set up a regular work station with a small table, chair, and lamp for him in the living room with washable markers, crayons, water color paints, lacing boards, clay with tools, paper, glue sticks, safety scissors, stickers, stamps, puzzles, etc... He has one of his bookshelves stocked with his favorites and his fish tank to watch.
We make sure to get outside every day, no matter the weather. Even if all I feel like doing is pushing him on his swing, or resting in my chair while he digs in the sand, or plays fetch with the dog, we both get fresh air and he works out some of his energy. We always feel better afterward.
We listen to a lot of music.
Although DS is not interested in napping anymore, I make sure to hold him close, rock him, nurse him, and read to him throughout the day. That keeps us both filled with love for eachother.
I make sure to always sit with him and give him my undivided attention during meal/snack times.
And, now that I am feeling better and more energetic we garden, swim, do easy hikes, and care for the home and pets together. I just take more rest/rehydrate breaks than usual.
We have maintained our family bed which also kindles the spirit of closeness.
DS is independent with hand-washing, picking our clothes, putting things away, etc...And becoming more independent with using the toilet (pee is fine, still needs help with wiping), and getting dressed.

I know that the transition from only child to older child will be challenging for him, but I am trying not to be too anxious about it.

101 Posts
I am 8w4d with my second and previously posted about surviving pregnancy with a toddler! And...I'm still struggling, but am accepting some of the compromises and limitations that I have right now. I have felt so nauseous and completely exhausted this pregnancy. Prior to pregnancy, we were outside 2+ hours a day, all homemade foods, no TV, crafts, lots of programs. And now...hahaha...not so much.

My DS (26 months) eats a lot of cereal. You have no idea what might bring on the nausea, I was surprised when I discovered that I couldn't handle giving my DS a banana. But cereal doesn't have strong smell and is easy to pour. We have days where we get out, but then there are others where we don't. We haven't gone to any programs in weeks (though we have done a couple playdates with one other child). And...he watches TV. He will only watch Thomas the Tank dvds, but he watches everyday.

I found that when I posted some of my concerns, it was great to hear from others how it's okay to let go a bit. Early pregnancy can hit some of us HARD and you need to rest and care for yourself. You are giving your child a sibling which is a wonderful gift, and as you feel better you can resume your old habits. My DS has actually started to play a bit more on his own and be more patient, and he doesn't seem as upset by the changes as I am! Also, although he watches the TV and eats more packaged food, he never objects to turning off tv or having fruit for a snack. So, I think he'll wean off of these things fairly easily when I am feeling better again and not needing them as much. 2+ years of good habits seems to have had a bigger impact on him than the month or so that I've been feeling so awful.

This is a good day :) I have others where I don't think I will survive, but today I do think it's something we can get through!
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