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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It sounds like a horrible question, but I really do have huge issues surrounding death.<br><br>
This past week has been particulary bad. I watched one small clip about V-tech on TV and then saw it everywhere on the internet. I cried for 3 days straight. Yesteday a train derailment happened in the next town over and there is possibly a CP rail worker stuck under one of the cars and I could barely sleep last night because I was crying so much about it.<br><br>
Last year there was a car that drove off a bridge here. Scuba divers couldn't get his body out when they went down so they had to pull the car up FIRST and then take the body out once the car was back onto the bridge. I was really upset about that as well.....but it got worse. In the weekly newspaper the next day they had a picture of the crane lifting up the car. I had nightmares for about three months because the body was in the car in the picture (couldn't see it of course, but I knew). I had nightmares until there was another bad accident on the highway, and then my nightmares turned to that.<br><br>
I don't have nightmares about someone dying if I know how they died. Even if it's a heart attack or a stroke, I have nightmares. My BIL is a fire fighter and they respond to first responder calls so when we have family dinners, the gruesome stories about some of his calls come up. I usually walk away but I always manage to hear a little piece of the story which sends my mind into a friendzy.<br><br>
I will be starting clinical for school soon. We are spending 8 weeks in a long term care facility where odds are I will see someone very close to death or someone who just died. I know I'll be able to handle it at the immediate moment, but I'm worried about the nightmares afterwards.<br><br>
I was also having horrible dreams about my children dying. The three particular dreams were that I was filling up the car with gas and the kids were in their car seats. THe car lit on fire and I couldn't get my kids out. Second dream was that I was driving to my parents house and I didn't make a corner and drove right off the edge. I took my seatbelt off and kissed my kids goodbye. I cant even drive that way to my parents house anymore because I'm too scared. Third dream was that our house lit on fire and I couldn't get my kids from their bedroom upstairs. These three nightmares are the ones that always replay.<br><br>
Anways, I've rambled but I don't know how to handle it anymore. I don't know if there's some sort of homeopathic remedy that stops nightmares. I've tried valarian root to help me sleep better, but it doesn't help with the nightmares.<br><br>
Any ideas?
 

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You may not have the problems in your clinical work that you are anticipating.<br><br>
I'm an MD who not infrequently deals with patients's deaths. I also volunteered at a hospice and a cancer ward for several years. I think my reactions to patients's deaths are appropriate. But I cry at upsetting news stories, and reports of especially tragic, senseless, or cruel deaths can upset me for the rest of the day.<br><br>
In terms of "desensitizing" yourself (and that wouldn't be the word I would chose, but I understand your concern), I don't have a lot of suggestions. I think the key is to remain a professional at all times. You can be a caring, sympathetic, and emotionally open person while you do this (and I hope you are). For me, this means not adding to the burdens of patients or their families and remaining an available, unjudging, calm resource regardless of the emotional upset around me. I'm sure you will find your balance with time.<br><br>
Good luck on your clinicals. I hope you enjoy the experience.
 

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For me it is important to examine my spirituality to cope with the fears of death. I fear dying because I have children to raise. I find that seeing death mirrored in nature-such as the death of a caterpillar to become a butterfly. Or the death of a flower becoming a seedhead for tons of new flowers. The idea is to get a working myth that satisfies your fears. We are so sanitized from death in this society. We rarely have to see it or smell it or have anything to do with it besides avoiding it.<br>
I'm trying to think of the homeopathic remedy for nightmares but it escapes me right now.<br>
thinkthinkthink
 

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thats so scary for you. i believe that some people have higher levels of empathy and identify with the feelings of others more than other people do. i think perhaps a way to help may be to become more inward lookinf when you feel this way and know that at this moment you and your family are safe and try to ficus on that.
 

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<b>Stop watching this wretched stuff</b>.<br><br>
Turn the news off.<br><br>
Don't click the links.<br><br>
Why do you do this to yourself?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Amris</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7946557"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><b>Stop watching this wretched stuff</b>.<br><br>
Turn the news off.<br><br>
Don't click the links.<br><br>
Why do you do this to yourself?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Okay well for 1. I don't watch the news on TV. The one clip I wateched on the V-tech thing was when I was flipping channels.<br><br>
I read the newspaper to keep myself in tune with our town.<br><br>
I HAVE to listen to the news to check the road report for driving to and from school. If I didnt, it could cost me an hour longer. Sometimes the road report is at the beginning of the news, sometimes it's at the end.<br><br>
If I could avoid everything...I would. But it's not possible. I want to find ways to DEAL with it, not push it under the carpet.
 

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I understand how you feel. I've gotten pretty far along the road of being able to handle death, such as it is. My five year old asks me why we die. I explained that the price of being a living thing is death. It's the natural way of things. Sometimes we die because we are very very old. Sometimes we die because we are very very sick. And sometimes, we die for no obvious reason... even no reason at all. It just is. Like the sun and the moon. They just are. He's very fascinated at what happens when we die... and the ensuing discussions have made it easier for me to accept death and even feel more comfortable with it. Not saying I want to die at this time, since I have littles and I would prefer it if I died when I was 110 years old, peacefully and in my sleep, lol. BUT, death happens every day. To the butterfly, the humans, the everything. And with death comes a new opening in which something else can spring to life.<br><br>
I don't watch the News, I don't read the newspapers. I'm horribly uninformed and I couldn't tell you who is what and what the headlines are. I have no idea if this is helpful... it probably isn't as I am rambling on. Being detached in your clinicals will come with time. And the ability to remain a professional, strong and supportive will also come with time.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 
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