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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm babysitting this 16 month old who's sooo sweet and cute and 7 month old DS (who's intact) comes with me. Well, when I changed this baby's diaper it was quite obvious that he was circ'd even though I have never seen a circ'd baby penis. I wanted to cry when I saw it. Every time I changed his diaper I thought about how bad it must have hurt and what he may have to go through later in life since the rates are almost 50/50 so he's very likely to find out what he lost. How do I distance myself so it stops hurting me to see circ'd babies and to hear of it? It bothers me so much and sometimes I just can't believe how lucky DS is to have a mommy who looked into it and decided that it was horrible and never to do it. I originally planned to until my parents told me not to and then I looked into it and was just absolutely shocked and I feel horrible that I even considered it (even though I seriously had no idea what it entailed). Anyways, sorry for going on and on, I just kinda had to get that out and I figured this would be the right place.
 

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As a chilcare provider i have dreaded this too. Luckily I attract crunchy nutjobs like myself
. So far i haven't had to deal with any cut babies.

I have, however, played this scenario out in my head:

Me to Other mom(Om): Is there anything special I need to know about diaper changes?

Om: What do you mean?

Me: well, i've never dealt with a circumcised baby before, do I need to do anything different?

Om: Um, no. You mean you guys didn't circumsize?

Me: I didn't know people still did that.

The conversation could go either way after that, but i would like to think that the mom has an epiphany and thanks me for saving her unborn son's foreskin.

Okay i did say i was a wacko!
 

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i thought you could use these words too.

it's ok.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The concept of an Intact penis is still fairly new to people in the US. In 50 years it wont be so new to people anymore. We are paving the way for our children and our grandchildren to have a different expierence than we did. Your decision & philosophy will without a doubt influence countless generations to come in your family and in the culture at large. It has taken 100 years for circumcision to take hold of 90% of the culture. It has taken 20 years for it to fall to 55% nationally. Give it some time. By the time we are gramdma's a circ'd baby WILL be in the minority nationally. It's hard to be a trailblazer I know, but you have all of us on your side and the babies too.


__________________________

what is a leader?

Do not follow where the path may
lead. Go instead where there is no
path and leave a trail.

-Anonymous
 

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"How do I distance myself so it stops hurting me to see circ'd babies and to hear of it?"

It never stops hurting really. Circumcision is everywhere we turn. We can't hide from it. I wish we could. It always hurts me. Circumcision is a deep deep wound that all of us need to heal from. The only way to heal the pain is to make it end. that is why activism is so important. We must fight this battle to put the pain to rest for every last victim, including ourselves.
 

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SadKitty says;
"I didn't know people still did that"

You are SOOOO brilliant. I love this. i absolutely love this reply of yours! You are a very clever and smart lady indeed.
 

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I am not in child care, but I wish I knew how to distance myself. Sometimes it's too much for me to even come to this forum. I need to stop myself from reading certain things (like the transcript of the audio of the circ video)....I knew it would get to me, and I read it anyway, and I just felt sick all day long. Embarrassingly enough, I had freaking nightmares about it that night.


In my heart, I really feel it's a form of torture, and the fact that it's so flippantly disregarded as "normal" just infuriates me. Or the "oh, they're fine afterwards, he didn't even cry!" with total disregard to the fact that they just *cut up someone's genitals*. Someone that will be a sexual adult someday, that *will use* that penis.

Screwing with someone's sexuality before they are even a sexual being is just really f'd up, and to me it's something that's fundamentally wrong with our society, that this is allowed - and in some cases ENCOURAGED - to go on in this day and age.

I was against it before, but after having my ds, and physically seeing him and knowing what they do during circ...it's just something that is beyond my comprehension.

I do wish I could distance myself from it, though.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by kldliam
SadKitty says;
"I didn't know people still did that"

You are SOOOO brilliant. I love this. i absolutely love this reply of yours! You are a very clever and smart lady indeed.

Yeah, I always did think unadulterated shock was the way to go. "Circumcise? You're kidding, right?" It's not like I have to act. A murmured, half-apologetic, "Oh, I thought everyone knew it wasn't recommended..." I can truthfully say, "I'm sorry."
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I love you ladies, I'm so glad I can come here and talk to you!

I just want to magically put back his foreskin every time I see his poor little ugly hot dog penis (lol now that I have an intact son, circ'd penises look WEIRD to me).
 

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I wish I knew how do distance myself.
I am not in child care either but not a day goes by now when I dont think of all the little boys out there who have been, and will be permenatly alterted because it is still legal.


My dh asked me a few weeks back why I cared so much, I told him I care about this like I would any other baby being abused. He still dosnt get the big deal about circ
He has started to tune me out if I talk about it. He thinks that since we left ds intact the issue is over and we shouldnt worry about it any more. If I had ink for my printer I would start printing out things for him to read while in the bath room. Maybe then he would understand.
 

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Quote:
He thinks that since we left ds intact the issue is over and we shouldnt worry about it any more.
Tell him this: silence perpetuates the problem. Silence is not good, especially the silence of a parent who understands why children should be left intact.

We must speak out. "We must BE the change that we wish to see in the world" (Ghandi) or their/our cries will continued to be ignored.
 

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Had to comment on 'I didn't know people still did that'

I really didn't! I had no idea it was still done outside of Jewish ceremony! I found it out when it came up during pregnancy and I did some research finding info for dh to read.

But I learned what circ was in the same breath I learned it isn't necessary when I was about 11 yearsold. SO I came to adulthood/parenting really unprepared for it to even be an issue.

It still shocks me.
 

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It is definetly hard we were at my son's 2 yr check-no shots doing good.
Before we were waiting and there was a 5 day old baby boy which was crying very uncomfortably and he was circed

I wished i could have grabbed that baby and held him saying too bad no one protected you and that is because they think circumcision was protecting you which it is not so they do not realize that they hurt you or that you are in pain but I know you are hurt and in pain.
 

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I know, it is so hard to be this emotionally invested! But you kind of have to be- if you could turn it off, then you would probably not be an intactivist. This hurts but it's so worth it.

The other day I was telling DP that every time I see any little boy, literally my first thought is that he was most likely circ'ed and hurt. And DP said to me: "But with the way the rates are dropping, there's almost a 50/50 chance he's intact!" And that way of looking at it made me feel much better.
 

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Well just thank your lucky starts that you DID look into it. I didn't and I circ'd my ds. Now I have to be reminded everytime I see it, which is obviously several times a day. And I would hate to think that I would be judged on that one bad decision. Just because 2 yrs ago I thought it was a great idea doesn't mean I still do. People change but unfortunately that is one decision you just can't take back no matter how much you wish you could.

I don't know how it is for other baby boys but I will say that it did obviously hurt him when they first did it (he was only 2 days old and he immediately went into a deep sleep for 12 hours because of the trauma...this is also when I first realized I did something horrible). Once he woke from that deep sleep though it never appeared to bother him or cause him discomfort. Of course we were globbing it up with vaseline like crazy unlike the woman you are talking about! But he was not a fussy baby at all. Never cried or anything. He looked happy and content and like any other newborn.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by smeep
I love you ladies, I'm so glad I can come here and talk to you!

I just want to magically put back his foreskin every time I see his poor little ugly hot dog penis (lol now that I have an intact son, circ'd penises look WEIRD to me).
I know exactly how you feel!!
I've been coming on here for the past two days, working up the nerve to post a rant about it...

I started working at a daycare this past june and I have to change SO many diapers all day, and only two boys are intact!
It breaks my heart every time I open a diaper and see it. I feel so horrible about it.

On top of that, a close friend of mine had her boy circ'd. Its really hard for me to even think of that baby (who I watched come into this world perfect and whole) missing that piece of him... and WHY? NO reason, just because.
and the Father was SO against it but the mom was for it and he caved! and she wouldnt hear anything. I lover her still she is like a sister... but I want to cry for that baby. that poor poor baby. I hope that someday she will learn what she did to her son and doesnt ever EVER do it again.
:
 
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