My DH and I have decided to amicabally divorce- cross your fingers! Any one been thru this who can offer legaL guidance, and support? I am starting at square One. I have NO money. And where do I go from here? Now what?
I don't know anything about divorce in Maine.. (my parents divorced in MA).
If I can help you in any way (emotional), even if you just want to chill at my house to get away and think, Charlie and I are in Bath and you are always welcome.
Divorce can be stressful even when done in the friendliest way. Make sure you take care of you. My mom was so concerned during her "friendly divorce" that she would "hurt" my dad that she got a bum deal with everything and struggles to this day.
Yah, I am going to have a friendly divorce, but I WILL NOT BE SCREWED!Thats my mantra currently. My DH/XDH/whatever and I have gotten some paperwork going, met with Pine Tree Legal Aid (useless), and have gotten somewhere. Divorcenet was a great start, thanks sailorslady. I am feeling a little less clueless. Lincap- I am NOT moving to Litchfield so I plan to devote more time to the midcoast mommy playgroup, and maybe I will come chill on your couch!
Pine Tree is overwhelmed and will be of no help. The internet can be a good resource, but in my experience, negotiate for exactly what you want now - quickly - and get in in writing and get it notarized. THat has some legal standing, and can be done inexpensively while you go through the more expensive divorce process. Get the child-related specifics and financial agreement down, then go from there.
Rely on friends with big couches (and playsets!!!).
Gretasmommy oh my WORD!!! You must have access to the internet at work-
I left you a message at home on your machine, saying blah blah blah, Last night was crazy, Quinny was nursing and had just stopped crying, I was crying and hadn't had dinner, Jacob was wanting a story read to him NOW, etc etc etc...Anywho, I am going to a NAtive American Pow Wow in Litchfield w/ NanaBanana- (DH's Mom, who said to my Mom "I cant beleive Sally is doing this", to which my Mom said "Sally cried and cried until John called and said it was a good idea since they'd both been so miserable for so long..." Then her eyes got big and she said 'Oh..."
Good Idea re: notorizing wants now. Pint Tree (oops) Pine Tree was useless. They basically took the form, said "this is the part where you puit the basic info, and this is the part where you....: ie, she read us the directions. She was a very nice woman but I didnt get too much new info.
Quinny needs Mommy, more later all.
Ladies- The ring is off his finger already?!!??!?! IOts been like, 3-4 days!!!
Oh yes- I can finish my thought now- I am going to be in Litchfield tomorrow and I may stop by to see you guys after, depending on the status of a) Quinn and his nap/diaper/mood b) jacob and his nap/asleep in the car status c) the status of you and yo' sis when I call from the road and d) the actual time of day... etc...
I am having a moment where I am feeling free, and less sad. I know this is a very good thing, for me and DH and in the long run, for the boys. One thing very hard so far has been managing to care for Quinny and be an extra super loving mom to Jacob, especially at bedtime. All while crying.
So, I am going to build my support network- calling all big couch owners, and playset owners...build my self up, my bank account up (if possible).... and try to deal with each hurdle as it comes. First up, dealing with a job and daycare...
I'm off to the store to buy more scratch off lottery tickets - did the other ones dry enough to use? If I win, I'm sharing with you, my dear friend. And as I have said before, we'll always have Bridezilla reruns and the intensive care unit.
I just wish I could offer you more. But you can be sure I will stalk you whereever you are!
we love you, Sal. Molly only has eyes for your boys.
Howdy! I was not divorced in Maine (Illinois) though I did have some custody issues here. I just wanted to pass on some friendly advice, get the best damn lawyer you can afford. Legal aid and low cost attorneys are not your friend in a divorce if you have property or kids. I originally was divorced 11 years ago with a cheap attorney and in the end I paid for it, do not skimp even if you two are being friendly now.
I was divorced in Maine. Because of a free attorney vs my ex with an expensive one.. he won residential custody of our daughter, even though I was the primamry caregiver for her 4 years of life. It crushed her (and me)
We agreed he would never seek to go for full custody and blah blah... all words down the drain unless you get it in writing now.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but I hope it goes smoothly and quickly for you.
I don't live in Maine now, but grew up in Portland and went to Law School there (don't practice law now though!). I volunteered with the volunteer lawyer project helpline, and we got a lot of calls from people who were doing their own divorce and just had a question. It is not hard to do your own divorce in Maine (at least it wasn't 15 years ago - that may have changed) and in fact there was a book by that name that all volunteers were required to read. Something like "Do your own divorce in Maine' or something to that effect. Anyway, I did find this link on PTL's website on how to do it yourself:
and they have the phone number there as well for the VLP if you need help.
However, as pp's have said this is harder to do when there is a child involved. And it needs to be completely amiable on BOTH sides. If he even hints that he is hiring a lawyer, you will need to find one immediately -and the best darn one you can.
Good luck and I hope you have the amiable divorce you desire.