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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm not sure where this post should go. BUT if the powers-that-be decide to move it somewhere else PLEASE notify me as I don't want to lose it. (not that I'll get any responses... but you never know!)<br><br>
Anyway, my ds is 2.5. He sleeps with us and sleeps all night long. He's not allowed to nurse during the night (until the sun comes up) and he adheres to this rule well. I was previously nursing him to sleep and carrying him to bed. The thing is we're trying to now teach him / help him NOT nurse to sleep but to go to bed without nursing. So, my dh was taking him to bed and they would read, talk, etc. until he went to sleep. This has been going on for a week and 1/2. It's taking him forever to get to sleep w/ dh (like 2-3 hours). Tonight dh decides he's over it and that I'm not pulling my nighttime weight and he's not going to help put him to sleep everynight. My dh is being an idiot. I'm finding it totally impossible to help my ds go to sleep without nursing him. It's like trying to help an alcoholic while waving a bottle of vodka in his face... kwim? And my dh isn't understanding this. It is my true feeling that my dh needs to keep up his end and step in for a while, suck it up, and help ds learn to fall asleep without me being involved (other then tucking in and kissing good night) so that he can work out his frustrations about NOT having a boob there WITHOUT having a boob RIGHT THERE. kwim? But, again, dh isn't supportive of me and isn't willing to stick it out. So, my question is this... HOW do I help him learn to sleep without nursing to sleep? I cannot bare having him beg me for nursing or crying or tantruming. Any ideas?
 

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I'm having sleep issues with my 20 month old right now too....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I dont b/f because we're adopting him and it isnt "legal" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Anyway...I dont have any good solutions but wanted to give you a <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> It's tough getting those little ones to sleep....good luck <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
anyone? SOOOOOOOOO NO ONE has had success in being able to get their older toddlers to learn to sleep without bf'ing? hmmmm so, does that mean ya'll are still bf'ing your kids to sleep and plan to for the rest of their lives? ugh. Sometimes I get so fed up with mothering.com. I SWEAR that 100% of the time, if I have a serious issue, no one has any adivice or ideas. I'd really like to think this isn't just a useless site as the idea of it is so important. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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not there yet with my little one... my sister has a 22 month old. they switched to formula when her dd was 9 months (still not sure why). her routine revolved around the bottle and the amount is only now being reduced.<br><br>
for a few weeks, the bedtime routine we had didn't include bf'ing. ds would nurse early and then not want to nurse again when it was sleepytime. so, we'd read a story and then i'd bounce/rock him to sleep on the exercise ball.<br><br>
could you nurse your dc earlier (by and hour or so), then do other bedtime things?
 

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I just saw your post, you might want to give us momma's some time! For me, I had to slowly 'wean' my ds from nursing to sleep, around the same age as yours so this is what I did (I was preggo though, but shouldn't make a difference). At first I would let him nurse for a few minutes, then I told him that my 'dee'dees' wore sore/hurt, and that he could hold them if he wants..there was a little wimpering at first but then he was fine with it, after a while..almost a month I think I started to not let him hold them, I would even leave the room for a few minutes then return for a period of time...eventually he learnt to fall asleep w/o nursing but it did take a while, and he still asks the odd time..however, its been....almost 9 months if not longer since i've nursed him to sleep it still takes almost an hour for him to fall asleep! Hope you can figure out a way to make it work..its really hard, especailly when dh is of no help...<br>
I won't even start on my dh otherwise i could probably write a book, but know that you are not alone <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
bluets- thanks! What an obvious idea that I didn't think of! Tonight my dh (he must have sensed that I was calling him an idiot here! :LOL ) helped. We gave him a bath and then I invited him to come and nurse (and told him that we're not going to nurse in the bed... but he could nurse in the chair BEFORE bed if he pleased- which he did) and then my dh took him upstairs and lay with him and read a few books and talked and they went to sleep. The main reason my dh is so hesitant to help, I believe, is because once HE gets in bed with ds and reads and talks he ends up putting HIMSELF to sleep at 8:30?!?! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"> And he'd like to be able to stay up a bit later and talk adult talk, watch tv, etc. Oh well. Anyway, Thanks for the idea... hopefully it will not wear-off in a few days as most things do with my high needs ds!<br><br>
spirit4ever- thanks to you to (and the other 2 mamas!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/luxlove.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="throb"> ). I've tried the "my susu's hurt/sore aren't working..." idea and Bay doesn't care. He throws tantrums and is mean to me about it... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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My son who would nurse to sleep, also took a pacifier so i think that helped, but also at an earlier age- maybe 11 months- his dad would take over and begin getting him to sleep if he could. It takes time and certainly at your childs age will be some work-- but so it goes. My understanding is you must remove yourself so he doesnt expect you to come to his side.<br>
Have faith! iT WORKS OUT! some time is necesary but is worth it! -And all kids are different! My dd never actually went to sleep by nursing- just was part of the routine at night and she still wants to do it now at 4. 5!-(I'm able to explain to her now that mommy is not going to keep doing this and she needs to soon stop. In fact, I think i have to really put my foot down at this point, since we've tried several times and she keeps changing her mind)<br>
anyway, see- it will all work out, really!
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I've tried the "my susu's hurt/sore aren't working..." idea and Bay doesn't care. He throws tantrums and is mean to me about it...</td>
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Aww, poor little booby fiend! He can't help it. :LOL<br>
I am anticipating the same problems w/ my DD (& DP <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: ).<br>
Good luck!
 
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