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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>No, really, this does belong in PAP - my DH is diagnosed ADHD.  He's been prescribed medications by his doc but refuses to take any of them for any length of time.  At first it was Ritalin - didn't like the way he felt on it.  So switched to a different Ritalin formulation.  Still didn't like it.  Switched to Adderall.  Still didn't like it.  So he's refusing to take his meds and refusing to go back to the doc to try something different (between all of these different meds, it took me upwards of a year to badger him into going back).  I'm at my breaking point.  I can't handle him.  The mood swings and behavior while he's off his meds are killing me.  There's no talking to him, he doesn't think he needs the meds and he doesn't like them so he won't take them.  I've tried explaining how it's affecting me, but he says it's my problem then, there's something wrong with me (full disclosure, I'm diagnosed clinically depressed and take medication every day).  He just refuses to believe there's anything wrong with him.  Anyone with an ADD partner that can give me some insight into how they think and how I can get through to him? </p>
 

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<p>No great advice, just commiseration.  My mom has been on and off her meds my whole life.  It is so hard to deal with.  I think, at this point, it is fair to offer an ultimatum and stick with it.  He probably needs both medication and behavioral therapy to better understand how this effects you.</p>
 

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<p>You can't make him take his meds.  If it's really a deal breaker, then you need a backup plan for leaving.  (or him leaving)  Or, you need to find a good way to make things work anyway.  </p>
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<p>In the end, he's an adult.  He makes his own choices, and if he really doesn't like how the meds make him feel, it's definitely not working for him.  Medication is not the only way to deal with ADD.  But, HE has to decide to grow up and be responsible for his choices.   </p>
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<p>Do you ever wonder if ADD isn't just one of his issues?  Perhaps there are other more serious problems, and ADD is just the most annoying problem?  Could it be some kind of depression?</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>nextcommercial</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1292088/how-do-i-get-him-to-take-his-meds#post_16193148"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a>
<p>Do you ever wonder if ADD isn't just one of his issues?  Perhaps there are other more serious problems, and ADD is just the most annoying problem?  Could it be some kind of depression?</p>
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<p>More than once.  It seems like a lot of his behaviors are what I *feel* like when I'm off my meds (the mood swings, the snapping), but oh lord try telling him he might have depression. </p>
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<p>Sigh, I guess I was hoping there was some magic way of dealing with ADD that could help me get it through his skull what he's like, but I guess I just need to get ready to dig my heels in again.<br>
 </p>
 

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<p>I have  close family member who is bi polar and has ADD and other depressive disorders. One thing we have *all* learned is that you can not force anyone to take their meds. Not a mother or father, brother or sisters, wife or husband. The person needs to want to take them. Nagging, cajoling, begging, threatening, etc rarely work or if they do they don't usually work for long.</p>
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<p>I am sorry you are going thru this. <img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></p>
 

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<p>What do the meds do for him? People who are bipolar and mis-diagnosed as ADHD (which is fairly common) have really bad reactions to ADD meds. I know that it's easy to say "just deal with the side effects," but often the side effects of these drugs really, truly are terrible. I've dealt with some things on medication that became unbearable, so I understand why someone doesn't want to take them if they feel bad on them.</p>
 

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<p> </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
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<div><strong>The mood swings</strong> and behavior while he's off his meds are killing me.</div>
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<p> </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>VisionaryMom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1292088/how-do-i-get-him-to-take-his-meds#post_16193975"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>What do the meds do for him? People who are bipolar and mis-diagnosed as ADHD (which is fairly common) have really bad reactions to ADD meds. I know that it's easy to say "just deal with the side effects," but often the side effects of these drugs really, truly are terrible. I've dealt with some things on medication that became unbearable, so I understand why someone doesn't want to take them if they feel bad on them.</p>
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<br><br><p>I was thinking the same thing.  I mean, all the above posts are completely right: you can't make him take his meds.  But you might urge him to look at different angles.</p>
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<p>What kind of doctor is prescribing these adhd meds, a regular physician or psychiatrist?  If he's not being seen by a psychiatrist for these issues, then he needs to do so.  One bad scenario is that undiagnosed bipolar (or bipolar II), which has a lot of overlapping symptoms with adhd, is exacerbated by adhd meds.  And yes, depression has a lot of overlapping symptoms with adhd as well. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Is he using drugs or alcohol? </p>
 

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My DH is ADD. My sister was diagnosed with ADHD for years. in reality she is bi-polar II. so, like the PPs, i would really urge you to talk to your DH and try to get him to see another doctor. If he's not feeling well on any of the ADHD meds, then he may, in fact, not have ADHD and has been misdiagnosed.<br><br>
My DH, as I wrote above, is ADD. The Ritalin helps, but acupuncture and meditation are helping as much or more (as complementary therapies . .. he's not going off the Ritalin any time soon!). If you really think your DH is ADHD, could you suggest investigating either or both acupuncture or meditation?<br><br>
Lastly, as everyone else has already said, you can't make him do anything. you need to decide what your limits and boundaries are and go from there. Not easy, I know. Hang in there!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>journeymom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1292088/how-do-i-get-him-to-take-his-meds#post_16194247"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p> </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
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<div><strong>The mood swings</strong> and behavior while he's off his meds are killing me.</div>
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<p> </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>VisionaryMom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1292088/how-do-i-get-him-to-take-his-meds#post_16193975"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>What do the meds do for him? People who are bipolar and mis-diagnosed as ADHD (which is fairly common) have really bad reactions to ADD meds. I know that it's easy to say "just deal with the side effects," but often the side effects of these drugs really, truly are terrible. I've dealt with some things on medication that became unbearable, so I understand why someone doesn't want to take them if they feel bad on them.</p>
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<br><br><p>I was thinking the same thing.  I mean, all the above posts are completely right: you can't make him take his meds.  But you might urge him to look at different angles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What kind of doctor is prescribing these adhd meds, a regular physician or psychiatrist?  If he's not being seen by a psychiatrist for these issues, then he needs to do so.  One bad scenario is that undiagnosed bipolar (or bipolar II), which has a lot of overlapping symptoms with adhd, is exacerbated by adhd meds.  And yes, depression has a lot of overlapping symptoms with adhd as well. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Is he using drugs or alcohol? </p>
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Diagnosed by a psychologist, meds prescribed by a physician (within the same medical center).  No drugs or alcohol.  Maybe I'll bring up the depression thing again, and try to get him in to see an actual psychiatrist who can prescribe meds herself.  It's like he sees mental illness as a weakness, "There's nothing wrong with me!", like it's something to be ashamed of.  No, dude, treating your wife and kids like crap to the point of them throwing you out of the house is something to be ashamed of. </p>
 

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<p> </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
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<div>  It's like he sees mental illness as a weakness, "There's nothing wrong with me!", like it's something to be ashamed of.  No, dude, treating your wife and kids like crap to the point of them throwing you out of the house is something to be ashamed of.</div>
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<p><span><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif">  They can have knuckle heads, can't they?  Have you been as blunt and clear as that with him? </span></p>
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<p> </p>
 

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<p>Subbing. I'm in the same boat. DH won't take the meds, forgets to take the meds, avoids the meds....<sigh></p>
 
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