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I'm a new mama with a 1 week old. I'm wondering if there is any other way to get a NB to fall asleep without having to nurse her. I've nursed her 4 times since 230 this morning, burped her and changed her diaper 3 times already and she still won't sleep. I wouldnt mind nursing again, but my nipples both feel like they are going to fall off!<br>
During the day she is never awake for more than 1-1.5 hours at a time, but tonight she has been up since 230! (its 530 now)<br><br><br>
We've tried the following:<br>
swaddling<br>
rocking/swaying<br>
nursing<br><br>
Or maybe this is just a "rite of passage"? Do babies eventually learn how to self sooth on their own, or is it something I have to "Teach" them to do or maybe not to self sooth at all?<br><br>
Any words of advice/support would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
 

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Many NB's have their days and nights mixed up and it takes a good month or so for them to figure out that one is awake in the daytime and sleeps at nights. If you want to try and change it before they gradually do the switch you could not let your babe sleep long stretches at once during the day (which with bf NB you usually want them waking up to nurse anyway) and not letting them nap in a dark place/room during the day. Apparently napping in daylight helps them figure out that it is daytime. I tried both of the above with all 3 kids but it always took about a month for them to get turned around...
 

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Hi strmis,<br><br>
I have only had this problem with my first born and found that he was hungry. Does she cry unless she's not on the boob? If so, I think she may be still hungry. Breastfeeding and getting into feed/burp/sleep routines can be difficult, especially with your first baby.<br><br>
As treehuggermama said, it takes a good 4-6 weeks to establish this. A good method we used was putting baby in a pram and putting a rolled up towel on the floor. Going over the bump can soothe them a lot.
 

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Pretty normal. Nursing can be very uncomfortable and sometimes painful the first few weeks, that should pass soon too.
 

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If you haven't already, you might want to read The Happiest Baby on the Block. It talks about the 5 s method of calming a new baby. Swaddling, shushing, side/stomach, sucking, swaying. My ds really needed the white noise of the blow dryer/vacuum, etc. when he couldn't let go and fall asleep. I know the book talks about that technique specifically as the noise replicates the whooshing sound baby hears in utero from your bloodflow/hearbeat, etc.
 

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Self soothing to sleep is years away <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Newborns are tricky about sleep. Hang in there!<br><br>
But don't fight nursing to sleep. It's fabulous as long as it works!<br><br>
-Angela
 

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Not a bad idea to think of this as a rite of passage <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
The idea as I understand it is that when baby was still inside you, all your movement during the day lulled LO to sleep, and your stillness at night encouraged LO to be active. So then baby emerged into the world with days and nights confused!<br><br>
Light, activity and sound during the day can help, as well as keeping night as dark and boring as possible. But it will take time... This is absolutely not about baby needing to learn to soothe him/herself.<br><br>
My doula encouraged us to stay in bed until we felt rested each morning, even if that meant not getting up until noon. Great advice, though slightly at odds with the idea of getting baby light and activity. The other thing that helped me was having a comfortable nursing nest on the loveseat in front of the TV - we watched lots of movies with captions on, the sound off and screen dimmed late at night! Oh, and books on tape were good, too!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>justthinkn</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11558435"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Not a bad idea to think of this as a rite of passage <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
The idea as I understand it is that when baby was still inside you, all your movement during the day lulled LO to sleep, and your stillness at night encouraged LO to be active. So then baby emerged into the world with days and nights confused!<br><br>
Light, activity and sound during the day can help, as well as keeping night as dark and boring as possible. But it will take time... This is absolutely not about baby needing to learn to soothe him/herself.<br><br>
My doula encouraged us to stay in bed until we felt rested each morning, even if that meant not getting up until noon. Great advice, though slightly at odds with the idea of getting baby light and activity. The other thing that helped me was having a comfortable nursing nest on the loveseat in front of the TV - we watched lots of movies with captions on, the sound off and screen dimmed late at night! Oh, and books on tape were good, too!</div>
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Yip, I agree with all of the above... it took DS about 4-6 weeks to start to have more solid sleeps at night instead of the day... I still take it easy in the morning if it's been a tough night. I had to learn to submit myself to babies routine and not freak out when he wasn't fitting into what I thought was the right routine... go with his cues <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dahlsk</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11558186"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If you haven't already, you might want to read The Happiest Baby on the Block.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
We have the DVD and were soooo glad we watched it before our DD was born. Not everything applies to every baby, of course, but it gives you a starting point and some ideas to try that might not be intuitive.<br><br>
Our DD didn't mix up night and day much from the beginning, but it is pretty common. We do have to help her to sleep often when she gets overtired, so for us, the swaddling and white noise are a must. Our version of the "swaying" part is actual walking...she loves to be walked to sleep, either in arms or in the sling (which might also be a good thing for you to try).<br><br>
In fact, she nurses to sleep very little anymore-- she is often too agitated to nurse when she's really tired, so those little tricks are a lifesaver. Congrats on your new baby, and enjoy!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Hang in there mama! The best advice I can give is to accept that you'll be up at night and find something fun to do. Once I stopped fighting it, I found it got much easier. I watched a lot of dvds in those first weeks, and also watched "thirty rock" episodes online. I set up my laptop next to my nursing chair. I would get myself something to eat (like a bowl of cereal and some mothers milk tea), get myself and dd comfortable (she was on a "my brest friend" pillow) and settle in for some fun tv/movie entertainment. I'm not even a big tv-watching person, but it totally saved my sanity in those first weeks.<br><br>
Also, make sure you nap with the baby during the day. Easier said than done, I know, but it will make life much better if you're not totally sleep deprived.<br><br>
You're doing great! Keep up the good work!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"><br><br>
It sounds like your little one is just having some trouble getting to sleep. It's completely normal. I would wait until she seems sleepy and then nurse her to sleep lying down. That's how my son went to sleep the easiest (still does). Swaddling, rocking and a white noise machine (my son liked the womb sounds bear) may also help. We used the Fisher Price Papasan swing when nothing else worked.
 

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I went through this a couple of weeks ago <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> what i found really helpful when she had her days and nights mixed up was to stay up and sling her at night, the sling puts her strainght to sleep. I was exhausted as i had been up for basically 48 hours with only a couple of short naps, but since then (knock on wood) she has slept through the night in 2 or 3, 4 hour stretches. so for me it was worth it. Poppy is 4.5 weeks now and she still has days where she is on the breast non stop, it is tiring and it wears you out but i figure in 50 years i will look back fondly on those snuggly newborn moments, even if i am tearing my hair out at times now. Other than that i do all of the things suggested here, today i nursed her ALL day, but i have been rewarded by her conking out early, i have even been able to colour my hair <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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It takes time, mama. Those first weeks are exhausting. One of the best pieces of advice I got is to make night, night. Only change the diaper if it's poopy (which of course it usually was for the first 3-4 weeks), keep the lights off, don't get up & walk around, nighttime is for bed and sleeping. DD was (is) in a co-sleeper right next to the bed, and I kept a nightlight on next to the bed so that I could see to nurse her. I kept the boppy & assorted pillows at hand, and nursed her right in bed. Boob 1, change diaper if needed, boob 2, hold her until she falls asleep, then put her back down in co-sleeper. Keep lights off, don't talk unless it's quiet "shhhhh" noises, sing quiet lullabies.<br><br>
And oh, oh, mama - treasure those quiet, love-love, middle of the night moments when it's just you and your wee babe. I still tear up when I think back to those middle-of-the-night feedings by the glow of the nightlight, when I could just look down at my wee girl, just her and me together in the night, and feel my heart overflowing with love. Remembering that those moments are so, so precious and aren't going to last helped make them more bearable.<br><br>
Also - make your peace with being up in the night, and know that it's not forever.<br><br>
Oh - each awake/nursing time was usually for about 45 minutes before the next 1.5-2 hours of sleep. That's very normal. And newborns NEED to eat that frequently when they're so young - it's survival, not just a way to get to sleep. As they get bigger and have more calories, fat stores, etc., they can sleep in longer stretches...<br><br>
Hang in there - it feels like forever but it's over before you know it!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>slgt</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11559499"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It takes time, mama. Those first weeks are exhausting. One of the best pieces of advice I got is to make night, night. Only change the diaper if it's poopy (which of course it usually was for the first 3-4 weeks), keep the lights off, don't get up & walk around, nighttime is for bed and sleeping. DD was (is) in a co-sleeper right next to the bed, and I kept a nightlight on next to the bed so that I could see to nurse her. I kept the boppy & assorted pillows at hand, and nursed her right in bed. Boob 1, change diaper if needed, boob 2, hold her until she falls asleep, then put her back down in co-sleeper. Keep lights off, don't talk unless it's quiet "shhhhh" noises, sing quiet lullabies.<br><br>
And oh, oh, mama - treasure those quiet, love-love, middle of the night moments when it's just you and your wee babe. I still tear up when I think back to those middle-of-the-night feedings by the glow of the nightlight, when I could just look down at my wee girl, just her and me together in the night, and feel my heart overflowing with love. Remembering that those moments are so, so precious and aren't going to last helped make them more bearable.<br><br>
Also - make your peace with being up in the night, and know that it's not forever.<br><br>
Oh - each awake/nursing time was usually for about 45 minutes before the next 1.5-2 hours of sleep. That's very normal. And newborns NEED to eat that frequently when they're so young - it's survival, not just a way to get to sleep. As they get bigger and have more calories, fat stores, etc., they can sleep in longer stretches...<br><br>
Hang in there - it feels like forever but it's over before you know it!</div>
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Very well said!! The only part I differed on was that we did change wet and poopy dipes at night. DS would have floated away if we hadn't <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
Also remember that your baby's stomach is no bigger than her tiny fist - so another reason she needs to eat so frequently!<br><br>
Ahhh, newborn days. I'm teary-eyed right now thinking about how sweet ds was - of course he's still sweet now, just in a different way <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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My ds ONLY sleeps if he is attached to the boob. (thats what he is doing now, napping on the boob) I would have an alternate way of getting them to sleep, as this is a difficult way to live. With dd I would put her car seat (her swaddled and placed in it, not strapped in) on top of the clothes dryer. It put her out like a car ride would. DS hates the car so I can't do that with him.
 
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