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My DS1 has ADHD, SPD and anxiety. He has been an ardent thumbsucker since he was 6 weeks old. He also bites the base of his thumb when experiencing heightened emotions. He basically uses his thumb to regulate himself.<br><br>
I have always been of the mindset that if he needs to suck then I would let him and I would let the behaviour disappear naturally without any intervention from us.<br><br>
The biting has been a really big issue though and we have tried to work with him to substitute something else. I feel it would be a mistake to just make him stop so we have hunted high and low for an object he would chew instead of destroying his hand. Unfortunately he will not accept anything else. I can sort of see why. No object will be in the same position and it's way faster to stick your hand in your mouth than to reach in your pocket, pull something out and then chew that.<br><br>
I swear this all has a point lol.<br><br>
We have also been doing various therapies to increase his regulation so he wouldn't feel the need to bite. The therapies have done a lot to increase his regulation but haven't done anything to decrease the biting.<br><br>
So, after all that background, we come to the issue at hand (literally lol). He has a best buddy at school and this makes me so happy because he has had trouble making friends. Recently, his teacher told me that best buddy has indicated a few times that he doesn't want to be close to DS1. Best buddy has some issues himself and DS1 doesn't always pick up on cues so I made sure to tell him that best buddy may not always want to be close so to give him space.<br><br>
Today the teacher told me that best buddy told another teacher that he didn't want to be in line with DS1 because DS1's hand was wet and yucky. Ah-ha! It all makes sense now. Teacher and I agreed that this was good to know and made us glad that it wasn't anything that DS1 had done.<br><br>
So, here's the big question: what do I do about this? I don't want to tell DS1 to just stop sucking and biting because I think that would be damaging but on the other hand (lol) losing this friend and possibly others would be damaging as well.<br><br>
How do I handle this?<br><br>
Martha<br><br>
p.s. DS1 will be 6 in a few weeks and is growing new molars and incisors (thought that info might be helpful)
 

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I don't know if this is the best solution, but could he limit his behavoir to "just at home"? It might be a step in the right direction and might help socially.
 

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And a handkerchief could help in the meanwhile. Also handsanitizer or wet wipes, if either are okay in your family and he could be trusted to use them appropriately.<br><br>
Also, could he suck/bite on one thumb and reserve his other hand for his friend?<br><br>
Just things that might make life easier while he works on the "at home only" habit.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kittynurse</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15371355"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have always been of the mindset that if he needs to suck then I would let him and I would let the behaviour disappear naturally without any intervention from us.<br>
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I don't want to tell DS1 to just stop sucking and biting because I think that would be damaging but on the other hand (lol) losing this friend and possibly others would be damaging as well.</div>
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The behavoir may not ever disappear on it's own.<br><br>
If you don't tell him that the other kids don't like it, eventually the other kids WILL tell him, and they won't be as nice about it as you will. I'd try to find a kind, compassionate way to let him know that it is interferring with his friendship, so he needs to try to cut back on how much he does it at school.
 

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I've seen these recommended before and it's something that your ds could wear at school as a "reminder."<br><br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FStop-Thumb-Sucking-Thumbusters-Blue%2Fdp%2FB0016ZX7AI%2Fref%3Dsr_1_2%3Fie%3DUTF8%26m%3DA2YMDBGTXPCMQD%26s%3Dgeneric%26qid%3D1273032743%26sr%3D1-2" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Thumb-Suc...3032743&sr=1-2</a>
 
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