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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I delivered my Miguel a week ago on Tuesday. My milk came in on Thursday, and I started pumping, because I was going to start donating it. If my baby couldn't have it, I knew somebody would need it. But on Tuesday of this week, I talked to the lady at the milk bank, and she was kind of rude about it, and I decided to just let it dry up.

Now they hurt so bad and are leaking a lot. Yesterday and today when I got out of the shower, they just leaked all over the place, and it makes me cry, because I just want it to stop. It's like a cruel reminder that my baby is not here to need it.

I have been wearing a tight-fitting bra and breast pads. I try to limit my intake of water. I don't let the water in the shower hit them directly.

I don't know what else to do. Any suggestions?

Rosalie 12/05/44-1/14/05
:, Sam 3/27/04


We were going to have a baby, BUT WE HAD AN ANGEL INSTEAD
Miguel Leonard
 

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I am so sorry for the loss of your son.

Cabbage leaves placed in the bra can help.
 

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for you mama. I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious baby. I'm glad you found this forum, the mamas here are awesome and very supportive.

As for helping your milk dry up, don't worry about limiting your fluid intake. That won't really help, just make you dehydrated. Pump just for relief and the amount you "need" to pump will gradually decrease. There are also some herbs that you can take to help decrease your milk supply. I'm not exactly sure what they are, but I saw a bottle of milk decreasing herbs at the whole foods store.
 

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Mama,
I am so sorry for your loss. And I'm so so sorry that the milk bank woman was rude, I can imagine how awful that must have felt. For a long time after Wendy was born if someone said anything rude to me or just in my presence it felt my soul was being torn open again, I just couldn't bear it.


In answer to your question; I think wrapping up your breasts very tightly (maybe you could find a wide ace bandage) would help as well as using Clary Sage essential oil maybe diffused in your room or in a spritz bottle. Also sage tea helps stop lactation.

Miguel Leonard
 

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I am so sorry for your loss.
s

Having to dry up my milk was one of the worst parts of losing my baby. It was horrible. Unfortunately, it just takes time. You can try cabbage leaves. Someone gave me a tip to freeze them (take them off the head first) and that has the added advantage of feeling REALLY good when you first put them in your bra. I also used a sage tea, but it tasted really terrible so I didn't drink much of it.

I would hand express in the shower just enough to relieve the worst of the pain and no more. But I have to honestly say it took 4 to 6 weeks for it to completely dry up.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss.


Don't bind or wear tight fitting bras/clothing. That can lead to a breast infection and you surely don't need that right now. Just express what you need to be comfortable and gradually decrease. It will take a little while. Cabbage leaves work wonders for the pain of engorgement.
 

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Bless You and your angel babies, mamas! My heart goes out to you All.

If you don't like sage tea try using sage essential oil. You can add it to your deodorant (or make it homemade-i think there is a recipe in nat. body care..), or make a sage spritzer w/ purified water & sage e.o.
There are pills that you can get by prescription-I don't know what they are, but that is an option too.
The cabbage leaves are also just plain good for the breasts! I heard to boil the whole leaf for 10 min., cool, wear in your bra. Freezing them sound very refreshing!
I wish I was there to smooth your brow & give your mind some soothing peace!
 

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I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boy! I just went through a stillbirth 6 weeks ago and my milk came in too. What I did was wear a suportive bra, use lots of cabbage, make sure you crush it up in your hand first because it is the liquid in the veins of the cabbage that help with engoregment. I also started taking some homeopathic stuff that worked wonders for me! It was byronia 30C and Belladonna 30C, I took 5 little pills every 20 min. alternating between the two. The homeopathic stuff gave me the most relief. My milk came in on a Sat. and by Tues. I was starting to feel some relief.
I am so sorry you have to go through this, I know that I felt it so unfair that I did not have my baby and yet had to go through this agony.
Take care of yourself,
Charlsie
 

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Sorry about your loss.

For me, my "engorgement period" only lasted at most three days. I just express enough (so that I am not hard or too tender) in the shower and then use pads for leaks. The first two days are the hardest. After that it fades. I could express milk for a long time (less and less each day), but the painful, leaking period was gone by the end of the third day.

If you are engorged today, the pain should be mostly gone by Monday. I have heard that cabbage works wonders, but have never tried it.

Hope you get some relief soon.
 

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i am so sorry, momma, i have been where you are now, and i remember it as if it were yesterday.
cabbage leaves, binding, i was given all of that advise. i didn't do it. i wanted the pain, i wanted to produce the milk for her. but i totally can understand the need to stop it. this may sound strange, but the milk you produce for that beautiful, beloved baby boy is sacred. could you pump it and then pour it over a special spot of earth in honor him? and then plant something there? i am so sorry.
 

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Huge hugs Mama!

I agree, don't bind your breasts, please. You could get clogged ducts among other things and those are so much more painful.

I too suggest cabbage leaves. I've also just sat under the warm/hot shower, letting it hit just above my breasts - it caused them to leak, but it felt good.
 

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I'm sorry mama...


After my son died, my milk came in almost instantly. I pumped "off the top" and nothing else. My daughter was technically still nursing, but refused to drink any of the milk that was flowing which made it difficult as I'd originally kind of depended on the idea that she'd help me...
Just pumping 'off the top', cabbage leaves, et all - it probably took a few weeks. I ended up with something like 55oz of breastmilk in my freezer. I made soap with it.
 

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Sage capsules might work. Pulsatilla.

You also might consider another milk bank or the informal network of women who provide milk for babies....if you are still wanting to go that route.

I am so sorry for your loss.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Thank you for all the love and advice. It was only a couple of very uncomfortable days, and then now they are feeling a lot better. I do think something was wrong with one of them, because it was real hard over the weekend, but even that has eased up. I'm still leaking a little bit, but nothing like before.

I had about 36 ounces frozen, and my friend came over on Saturday with her 1 1/2 year old for my DH's birthday party. Her son had pneumonia a couple weeks ago and seemed like he was getting it again. I told her she could have my milk for him since it was colostrum for the first couple of days. She was so excited. She unfroze some and gave it to him, and he curled up, put his hand on his own "boob" like he does when he drinks his bottle, and fell right to sleep. At least I didn't have to throw it away like I thought I would have to.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're feeling a little better. I've also heard large amounts of parsley can dry up your milk. Hugs & prayers.
 

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No advice, mama, but I couldn't not write and tell you how deeply sorry I am for your loss. I am just so, so, so sorry.
 
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