[sunnylady303]

DD1 is 3.5 YO and she never ever picks anything up. I know that has got to be mostly our fault (DH and I are still trying to learn to pick up after ourselves!

) but she never does. How much is reasonable to expect a 3YO to do and how do we help her to learn? DH is worried we're creating a monster who will always expect others to clean up after her. Advice? Thanks!

 

[mightymoo]

I think kids pick up on what they see you do. We are a lot like you - I'm not great at picking up after myself, and I've noticed my kids do repeat the behaviors I do. For example, whenever I peel a banana I put the peel in the trash - so my DS at 2 already does this without prompting and my DD will too! However, neither will pick up their dirty clothes from teh floor because guess what - neither do I!

So I really think one of the best ways to get them to clean the way you want is to work on your own cleaning skills!

With my DD I have started small by requiring that she pick up her room every morning (I keep very little in her room, so this is easy) and that she pick up her dirty clothes - when she doesn't do it, I don't do it for her, I call her over and ask her to do it. I think the more you hold them accountable, the more they do it on their own, but its hard to do that, I get lazy tired of asking, etc and everything slips.

 

[Sage_SS]

I was having this issue with my daughters as well so here's what I did.
I took a big jar and got them to color a decorate a label, it was labelled THE JOB JAR. Then I made about 30 different circular cut outs with various jobs listed on them (i.s organize shoe rack, wash bathroom counters, sort recycling, fold laundry.. depends on the age) Then I wrote a monetary value for each chore and wrote in on the back. I also put in little slips of various stickers they could add to their sticker albums when they finished their chores. The money they earned was then tallied and paid out as an allowance at the end of the week.
This system helped my kids go from outright refusal, tantrums, crying or ignoring us about chores, to them running the jar to us and asking us if they could PLEASE pick from the JOB JAR!! It rocks, but you have to stick with it.

Also if they didn't do their chores and they asked if a friend could come over, the answer was no, becuase their room was a mess, or the house was too messy to let someone come over! That changed their attitudes on cleaning as well!

Good luck!

 

[sunnylady303]

I really like the JOB JAR idea. How old are your kids tho? Do you think it would work with a 3YO?

 

[Sage_SS]

Yes, my middle daughter was 3 when we started. We just made easier chores for her.
Today my daughters are 8, 6 and 3. All of them love the job jar because that way they get to pick the chores they do, its a chance game, not something we're telling them they HAVE to do. I think my 3 year old loves it the most, she's a sticker lover! lol.. and my two are learning what money is and what things are worth.

 

[heket]

My experience is probably different than a number here. I WOHM and dh SAHP. I'm not quite sure what he actually does in terms of having the kids clean up during the day (sometimes I know he's done nothing at all...

: ), but in many cases I come home and start a clean up routine.

Dd is 3.5 yo, so the general term we have is "Time for a Clean House!" Then I ask her to pick up specific items (please put that book back on it's shelf, please give that dolly a home, etc.) as I also pick up some. If ds is cooperative (he's about 26 months) then I'll have him also join in. This way, the kids learn that many hands make light work and I remind them that if they put away those toys they are done with during the day, clean up time is much faster.

I think this has also shown dh how to go about having the kids help him clean up. I've also come home to an excited dd saying "mommy, it's a Clean Home for you!"

I really think it comes down to modeling, examples, and demonstrations. HTHs!

 

[AuntNi]

If you look at Flylady.net, she has a bunch of cleaning suggestions for kids from toddler on up.

 

[Alkenny]

Make a game of it (they love to dust with spray bottles and rags), sing songs while you do it (the dreaded 'Clean up' Barney song worked wonders!), and playing up how much you NEED their help. Always worked here!

 

[Mere]

I totally agree that the most important thing you can do is keep things clean yourself, and the kids will copy you to a point. Of course we are all a little lazy on occasion (myself included!) so I do find myself occasionally having to remind my kids to put stuff away, to put the banana peel in the trash instead of leaving it on the table, to pick something up when you drop it on the floor, etc. Most of the time I think they do just fine for their age, but if I see my 3yo drop or throw something on the floor and not pick it up I will definitely call him on it.

 

[mamaduck]

I've involved my kids in cleaning and chores since they were tiny. I went from wearing them in a sling while I cleaned, to handing them a rag when they wer toddlers so they could work beside me, to having them do sorting activities and other practical life tasks alongside me while I work.

I spend a couple hours a day doing housework, and very often if the kids want companionship they need to follow me around. It is just natural for them to pitch in and work with me.

 

[lilli'smom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AuntNi If you look at Flylady.net, she has a bunch of cleaning suggestions for kids from toddler on up.

This was going to be my suggestion. My DS(Almost 4yo) is really getting into it.