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im at a loss here its always been mommy's having a baby. i found im farther along then i expected (3 monthes) and can tell the munchkins fine teens ive never never had to tell im probably being a little over dramatic but should i do something special to tell them or just flat out tell them?
 

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I intend to tell mine by screaming and waving a pee stick in their face.

My situation is a bit different than yours, but I definitely agree with the pp to just tell them. When I first decided to TTC (with a known donor as a single mom by choice since I am 41 and Prince Charming never showed up) I asked the kiddos what they would think hypothetically and then went ahead, trying to keep it as much of a secret as I could to spare them pain in case of a miscarriage or just a bunch of bfns.

Of course my son found out and was very angry with me for hiding such a big, potentially life-changing event.

This time around, both teens have known from the get-go, even though they didn't initially think it was a very good idea. My son's reasoning is that we don't have a lot of money and he doesn't see how we can afford the hospital birth, complete with painkillers, that he thinks I should have.

Things have gone a lot better for us as a family. Even if this is not meant to be and two children are all I'm ever going to have, I'm so glad that I was honest with them and that they have been there to hold my hand and listen to me rant and support me through this whole emotional roller coaster.

It feels kind of awkward because siblings are su;pposed to get the "Mommy's having a baby" talk but with this kind of a humongous spacing, it seems more appropriate to treat them as trusted close friends.

Not that ds didn't spew out the same kind of irrational jealousy that ALL youngest siblings feel about becoming "The Middle Child", mind you.
 

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I would just go ahead and tell them, as well... but you might want to get them into a good mood first, make them their favourite food for dinner or something, I don't know, but it's a pretty big thing--especially since there'll be such a big age gap between them and their new sibling--so it might be a little hard to take, know what I'm saying?
 

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Blunt: "Well, kids, I'm knocked up again..."

More gentle: "We're going to have another baby."

Out of the blue: "Wow, that was a great shopping trip! Oh, darn! We forgot to get newborn diapers..."

Left field: "Put your books away and wash up for dinner. I don't have the energy to pick up after you since I'm 3 months pregnant."

Obtuse: "The fairy laid an egg in the cabbage patch and the stork will soon be bringing a little bundle to us."

Matter of fact: "Since this will affect your life, you really need to know that in about six months, we'll have a new baby in the house."

Silly: "Well, I thought I was just putting on a few pounds, but I'm actually pregnant."
 

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As a once teen who's parents had a surprise baby I would have to say that they might act embarassed (who wants proof that their parents really do have sex?!), but really, it was the coolest thing. My parents sat us down and said, "Girls, there's something we need to tell you". This same situation had been repeated several times over the past year or two, ending in "your dad has cancer", "we're moving across the country", "your mom needs surgery", etc, etc, so we were a bit panicked until they got to the GOOD news part of it. Hey, maybe they did that on purpose so that even if we weren't excited about the baby, we'd just be relieved no one was dying or moving.
Anyway, you know your kids and I'm sure you also know the best way to tell them. Just present it in a positive light, and share your own excitement and I'm sure they'll get on board.
Oh, maybe mention that this is your baby and while you won't refuse their help, that they are in no way responsible for this child. And then keep that promise as the baby grows. I think, because teens are old enough and often initially eager to help out, they can be taken advantage of, purposefully or not. Ah, the anger I felt at being stuck baby-sitting at home on Friday night, unpaid, while my friends were out.
My much younger brother is one of my favorite people today, and it was really neat to be around while he was small. I also think my parents are parenting him in a better way than they did us, just because they're older, wiser, and a lot more laid back at this point. The only regret I have is that I don't get to live with my brother and experience the day to day of his teen years (they now live in Africa, quite a ways from where dh and I live).
Vellorian -

Katia
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Vellorian View Post
Blunt: "Well, kids, I'm knocked up again..."

Out of the blue: "Wow, that was a great shopping trip! Oh, darn! We forgot to get newborn diapers..."

Left field: "Put your books away and wash up for dinner. I don't have the energy to pick up after you since I'm 3 months pregnant."

 

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In our case if it was happening I'd just say "Sooo, I'm knocked up." And after everyone regained consciousness we'd chat about how crazy it is. (I've had my tubes tied for over a decade.)


Seriously though, I'd just say I was pregnant.
 

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Well, I'm not much help with what you should do, but I can tell you what not to do.
My Mum was to ill to contemplate making Turkey for X-mas dinner, so she made Cipaille (a French Canadian meat pie that contains six different meats, including rabbit and duck, which none of us liked) and then proceeded to tell us she was pregnant as we all sat down to eat! I don't think anyone ate much dinner that night!

I guess my best advice would be to tell them at a time when they are not actively involved in something else, so they don't have to change focus to take it in and discuss it. Maybe call a family meeting? Be prepared to answer any questions they may have, but also be prepared to give them lots of time to think it over first if they'd rather.

HTH,
~Yola
 

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DH & I have been married almost 18 yrs. Oldest son is 16. He was the only child for almost 5 yrs. We tried, but couldn't get pregnant, but we were still in school and working full-time, so I guess it was for the best that we didn't have anymore during that time...


Being a religious person as I am, I did pray to the Lord that if I could get pregnant again, I would have as many children as he wanted me too...
:

So, ever since then (mid 1994), I have been either pregnant or nursing a baby. When I found out I was pregnant with #7, I didn't know how to tell DS. I told DH not to say anything yet to the kids. I did have a baby book sitting on the side of my bed, and one night DS saw it, and was like MOM! YOU AREN"T HAVING ANOTHER BABY, ARE YOU? I laughed it off. Didn't say yes, but didn't say no.

Weeks later, after confiming with my doctor that I was indeed pregnant, that book was still beside my bed, and DS asked again (I think he knew by then because I wasn't feeling well sometimes...and I am never sick). This time we said yes. But I told him not to tell anyone yet, and he said BELIEVE ME! I"M NOT!!

You know how many phone calls I got the next day? And they all said that DS was excited for another sibling!!


The older youth at our church did a little Nativity play for the small children yesterday, and they used a tiny newborn baby (little girl about 6 weeks old) as Jesus, and "Mary" would not hold her...afraid she would drop her. So DS, playing the part of "Joseph" had to hold "Jesus", and everyone including my younger children thought DS was so "cute" holding the little baby.
 

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As the oldest of many children, I got the "i'm pregnant" speech multiple times during my tween/teen years. My mom was predictable though, she'd gather us all around, wait till we stopped talking, and make the announcement. After a few times of this, everyone knew what was coming anyway.

Although for my youngest sibling, I knew my mom was pg before she told me b/c we had our periods at the same time...and funny...she wasnt on hers when I was on mine.

just tell them.

Lisser
 

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I got pregnant (we had been TTC but I didn't talk to my dd about it because I was 37 years old and not sure we would be successful) when my only child was 15. I wasn't sure how she would feel about it, but I had a feeling she would be happy because she had mentioned in the past about wishing she had siblings. I learned of the pregnancy in early December, so I decided to tell her on Christmas morning.

I made a small gift box and put a tiny plastic newborn baby in it, wrapped in a scrap of fabric. Then I wrote a note that said, "This precious gift will arrive in 9 months ..." I made sure this gift was the last one to be opened on Christmas morning and when my 15 yo dd opened it she burst into tears. I hurried over and hugged her, crying too, and said, "Are you okay?" and she smiled the most radiant smile and said, "I'm so happy!"
 

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Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

Not to put a damper on the joy of such an occasion, but I would be prepared in the event of a less than happy reaction from your teen.

My best friend was 18 when her Mom told her she was pregnant and she freaked out!! She was VERY mad at her Mom and stayed at my house, crying constantly, for the next week. She had a very hard time explaining/dealing with feelings of shock, abandonment, anger, frustration, fear, etc. Her little brother is now 6 and she loves him to death, was a big part of the first couple years of his life, and still makes sure to contact him often even though she lives in a different state.

She ended up being overjoyed to have a little brother - but her first reaction was NOT what her Mom was hoping, or prepared, for. You might need to give your teen some time to adjust to the news.
 

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Silly: "Well, I thought I was just putting on a few pounds, but I'm actually pregnant." That's kinda how my mom told me (I was 7). Only, it was more along the lines of:

Me: Mom, I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but you're kinda getting fat.
Mom: Well honey, I'm actually 6 months pregnant.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by noordinaryspider View Post
I intend to tell mine by screaming and waving a pee stick in their face.

Uh, yeah, it was something like that. (For the first new baby when dd was 14- when I found out I was pg again a yr later, it was more 'you'd better sit down'.)
 

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When we had to tell my sons they were 14 and 15 at the time. They were upset for the first few days afterwards. But after about a week they were happy and excited. Kids at school teased them a little. Now they love their sister and are happy we have her.
I waited till I was 4 1/2 months along before we said anything. I wanted to make sure everything was ok first before letting them know.
Just be patient with them and answer all their questions.

Good luck and congrats.
 

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Don't do what my mom did and immediately demand/assume that your teens are free, built in babysitters.
FTR my mom miscarried. It was sad because I was kind of looking forward to it. I would have been more excited about it if, once again, the first comments weren't about me babysitting. Not my kid, not my job. I was 14yo and had every right to feel that way about it. But I'm sure you are a much nicer and respectful person than my mom. 99% of earth's inhabitants are. Congrats on your new babe!
 

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It's a joyful event and I approach it as such! What a gift you are giving your children! I was the youngest of just two children and always longed for a younger sibling. I say "guess who's having another baby?" and they guess (most of our friends have at least 5 - 7 kids) then I say no, it's me
This time my ds1 gets to be baby's godfather so that makes it pretty special for him.

Congrats!
 
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