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First of all, I'll make a confession....

I was watching "The Learning Channel's" baby shows today!!!

OK, OK, I know they're awful, etc, etc (and I don't even know WHY I do watch them.....reminiscing because I can't have more kids? looking for hope that our birth culture is improving? or not?)

But maybe out of this lemon will come lemonade, because I am now FURIOUS!!!

The first show was called "Bringing Home Baby". The parents were coming home from the hospital (don't recall what kind of birth mom had, or if they even said). But the first alarm bells came when the camera shows the baby in the car with a pacifier in her mom.

"Hmmm" say I, "wonder if she's nursing? If she is, that paci isn't a great idea!" (Also know that I had unsuccessful b'feeding experiences with both my kids, pumped and bottle fed the second for 13 months............lloonnngggg stories about those!) Sadly, I'm psychic....the family arrives home....mom is shown several times putting baby to breast....baby is fussing and not latching on. And what happens after each unsuccessful attempt? Mom sticks the paci back in the baby's mouth....and baby sucks contentedly!AAArrrrggghhh!!! This went on for the first 24 hours at home. Finally, mom decides to call the "lactation nurse" at the hospital. As dad is dialing the phone, mom states that she wants to breastfeed but if it doesn't work out she's OK with it - just wants baby to be happy! Well, the lactation nurse's advice is.......time to start some formula, and try to go back and forth from bottle to breast! Dad is then shown taking a formula can out of cupboard (brought home from hospital?). They mix up a bottle....and next scene shows baby sucking happily on bottle. Baby is never seen trying to breastfeed for the rest of the show.

Please understand......I am not trying to bash this mom and dad. It is obvious that they were given absolutely ABOMINABLE advice about nursing. Giving a pacifier in the first few DAYS before breastfeeding is even established? Giving a formula bottle and trying to "go back and forth"? Even though I myself did not b'feed successfully, I even knew better than that!!

What will it take....and what can outraged and passionate moms like me (and many of you?) do to change the way b'feeding is presented in this country? How do we get through to the medical/nursing people that:

Breastfeeding is the best way to nourish infants....and IMHO the times when it "doesn't work out" would probably be very much diminished if parents were given the correct information AND if initial b'feeding difficulties were thoroughly investigated and mothers given constant help to get things going! (This did not happen for me - for both my kids I was told after strugggling for over 48 hours without latching on that they'd do fine with a bottle).

Lactation help needs to be available and affordable and/or reimbursable. Someone should have been at that family's doorstep to give hands-on help...not tell them over the phone to give a bottle!! Good grief!!! As for affordable, I myself had a couple of sessions with a private lactation consultant who was wonderful but to the tune of $65 an hour. I could not afford to keep her coming until my problems were resolved. Why aren't LC services free to the uninsured and reimbursable for those of us with insurance?

I guess it was all the more frustrating to me because in the last two days I saw not one but two newborns being bottle fed (one a two month old sib of a child I was evaluating at work, the other the 2 week old infant of a co-worker). Of course, I don't know the reasons....maybe they were also turned off by initial difficulties....but how sad.

And how many parents-to-be will watch that show today and decide that b'feeding is likely to be difficult and may not even TRY???

Thanks for letting me vent..........any ideas for activism on this front?

Janet (the old mama) and her boys
 

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I feel your frustration. I saw kind of the same thing today at toys-r-us. A baby was in it's plastic bucket screaming while mommy contintedly shopped for formula. Never once picked up baby, all the way through the store this woman ignored her baby and stood in line with me while he cried. She never picked him up.

I wanted to ask her if I could hold her baby for her, I wanted to shake her 'till her head popped off, I wanted to nurse her poor little guy,I wanted to ask her why SHE didn't hold him,wanted to go out to my van and give her my sling..so many things went through my head. But I had to remember this one thing: I am NOT a better mother than she, I am just more informed. My frustration turned to sorrow because she was doing what she was taught.


So why with all this information just floating around, why why why does it seem that it's just bad information that gets ingested? Is it because it's easier and less trouble? Is it because people are told it doesn't matter what or how you feed your baby as long as it sleeps through the night and never fusses? Do people actually believe that if you pick up your baby and hold him that he will be spoiled? How......sad.


For some people, no matter what you tell them, no matter how well informed they are, no matter what you put at their disposal, they are going to do the easiest, must fuss-free thing they can. Because after all....babies/children should be trained to accept our standard of living. Why change ours to meet them? Because they are soooo adaptable.


Ok getting off my
. Sorry for being so long.
 

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One good thing-my little sister (18) watched the baby story the other morning and was so excited when she called me because there was a "normal, but hippie mom just like you. She had a homebirth and everything." It seemed to be positive in the way that she could relate to the homebirth mom too since she did not "look like a hippie". Maybe that will open up people to nursing/homebirth/natural parenting.

Bad thing-By her own admission, my aunt's only "preparation" for her labor/birth was watching those shows. She just went in and got an epidural like she saw on TV. She did nurse her baby for a long time though


We moms have to be out there changing the culture...Nursing in public and sharing openly when people ask us about our parenting. I am really hoping to influence my sisters most of all so they can be brave enough to feed their babies naturally. I also think it is good to show how desirable BFing is for the mom too--always pre-mixed and available, free, relaxing (I used to sleep through it!). Yes, there are difficulties at times, but there are many great things for mom to enjoy with BFing. Also, desexualizing the breast. I am so tired of people shaming women who NIP anywhere. With my next child I am going to be more brave because that is where we can all start--is by example.

Jennifer
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by momo7
Do people actually believe that if you pick up your baby and hold him that he will be spoiled? How......sad.

Yes..my son was 40 hours old when my neighbor came over. I heard him cry and picked him up immediately....She stated, "You should not do that or you will spoil him " because he will learn that if he cries I will come get him. Well, I hope he learns that!!!

I wanted to pick up my SILs baby the other day too MOMO7. The baby was crying and even my ds (23 mo) was saying "bebe" and pointing to the room she was in

SIL has a Ferber book/scheduled feedings and all that though so I was not suprised.

Jennifer
 

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Quote:


Originally Posted by erikandgregsmom

First of all, I'll make a confession....

I was watching "The Learning Channel's" baby shows today!!!

OK, OK, I know they're awful, etc, etc (and I don't even know WHY I do watch them.....reminiscing because I can't have more kids? looking for hope that our birth culture is improving? or not?)

But maybe out of this lemon will come lemonade, because I am now FURIOUS!!!

The first show was called "Bringing Home Baby". The parents were coming home from the hospital (don't recall what kind of birth mom had, or if they even said). But the first alarm bells came when the camera shows the baby in the car with a pacifier in her mom.

"Hmmm" say I, "wonder if she's nursing? If she is, that paci isn't a great idea!" (Also know that I had unsuccessful b'feeding experiences with both my kids, pumped and bottle fed the second for 13 months............lloonnngggg stories about those!) Sadly, I'm psychic....the family arrives home....mom is shown several times putting baby to breast....baby is fussing and not latching on. And what happens after each unsuccessful attempt? Mom sticks the paci back in the baby's mouth....and baby sucks contentedly!AAArrrrggghhh!!! This went on for the first 24 hours at home. Finally, mom decides to call the "lactation nurse" at the hospital. As dad is dialing the phone, mom states that she wants to breastfeed but if it doesn't work out she's OK with it - just wants baby to be happy! Well, the lactation nurse's advice is.......time to start some formula, and try to go back and forth from bottle to breast! Dad is then shown taking a formula can out of cupboard (brought home from hospital?). They mix up a bottle....and next scene shows baby sucking happily on bottle. Baby is never seen trying to breastfeed for the rest of the show.

Please understand......I am not trying to bash this mom and dad. It is obvious that they were given absolutely ABOMINABLE advice about nursing. Giving a pacifier in the first few DAYS before breastfeeding is even established? Giving a formula bottle and trying to "go back and forth"? Even though I myself did not b'feed successfully, I even knew better than that!!

What will it take....and what can outraged and passionate moms like me (and many of you?) do to change the way b'feeding is presented in this country? How do we get through to the medical/nursing people that:

Breastfeeding is the best way to nourish infants....and IMHO the times when it "doesn't work out" would probably be very much diminished if parents were given the correct information AND if initial b'feeding difficulties were thoroughly investigated and mothers given constant help to get things going! (This did not happen for me - for both my kids I was told after strugggling for over 48 hours without latching on that they'd do fine with a bottle).

Lactation help needs to be available and affordable and/or reimbursable. Someone should have been at that family's doorstep to give hands-on help...not tell them over the phone to give a bottle!! Good grief!!! As for affordable, I myself had a couple of sessions with a private lactation consultant who was wonderful but to the tune of $65 an hour. I could not afford to keep her coming until my problems were resolved. Why aren't LC services free to the uninsured and reimbursable for those of us with insurance?

I guess it was all the more frustrating to me because in the last two days I saw not one but two newborns being bottle fed (one a two month old sib of a child I was evaluating at work, the other the 2 week old infant of a co-worker). Of course, I don't know the reasons....maybe they were also turned off by initial difficulties....but how sad.

And how many parents-to-be will watch that show today and decide that b'feeding is likely to be difficult and may not even TRY???

Thanks for letting me vent..........any ideas for activism on this front?

Janet (the old mama) and her boys


Quote:


Originally Posted by momo7

I feel your frustration. I saw kind of the same thing today at toys-r-us. A baby was in it's plastic bucket screaming while mommy contintedly shopped for formula. Never once picked up baby, all the way through the store this woman ignored her baby and stood in line with me while he cried. She never picked him up.

I wanted to ask her if I could hold her baby for her, I wanted to shake her 'till her head popped off, I wanted to nurse her poor little guy,I wanted to ask her why SHE didn't hold him,wanted to go out to my van and give her my sling..so many things went through my head. But I had to remember this one thing: I am NOT a better mother than she, I am just more informed. My frustration turned to sorrow because she was doing what she was taught.


So why with all this information just floating around, why why why does it seem that it's just bad information that gets ingested? Is it because it's easier and less trouble? Is it because people are told it doesn't matter what or how you feed your baby as long as it sleeps through the night and never fusses? Do people actually believe that if you pick up your baby and hold him that he will be spoiled? How......sad.


For some people, no matter what you tell them, no matter how well informed they are, no matter what you put at their disposal, they are going to do the easiest, must fuss-free thing they can. Because after all....babies/children should be trained to accept our standard of living. Why change ours to meet them? Because they are soooo adaptable.


Ok getting off my
. Sorry for being so long.


Quote:


Originally Posted by newcastlemama

One good thing-my little sister (18) watched the baby story the other morning and was so excited when she called me because there was a "normal, but hippie mom just like you. She had a homebirth and everything." It seemed to be positive in the way that she could relate to the homebirth mom too since she did not "look like a hippie". Maybe that will open up people to nursing/homebirth/natural parenting.

Bad thing-By her own admission, my aunt's only "preparation" for her labor/birth was watching those shows. She just went in and got an epidural like she saw on TV. She did nurse her baby for a long time though


We moms have to be out there changing the culture...Nursing in public and sharing openly when people ask us about our parenting. I am really hoping to influence my sisters most of all so they can be brave enough to feed their babies naturally. I also think it is good to show how desirable BFing is for the mom too--always pre-mixed and available, free, relaxing (I used to sleep through it!). Yes, there are difficulties at times, but there are many great things for mom to enjoy with BFing. Also, desexualizing the breast. I am so tired of people shaming women who NIP anywhere. With my next child I am going to be more brave because that is where we can all start--is by example.

Yes..my son was 40 hours old when my neighbor came over. I heard him cry and picked him up immediately....She stated, "You should not do that or you will spoil him " because he will learn that if he cries I will come get him. Well, I hope he learns that!!!

I wanted to pick up my SILs baby the other day too MOMO7. The baby was crying and even my ds (23 mo) was saying "bebe" and pointing to the room she was in

SIL has a Ferber book/scheduled feedings and all that though so I was not suprised.

Jennifer

Janet, Jen, Jennifer,

,
: ,
that its still happening and will keep on happening if this doesn't or whatever it will take to get this to stop.

Semi OT

While I was volunteering today (I volunteer 3 dys, 5 hrs per dy, 15 hrs wk), in Maternity Department at the local hospital by me. So, I was talking to one of the nurses (shes M & B)that I'm friendly with. Anyway, I asked her why did you want to become a nurse, then asked her have you ever thought of becoming a doctor. After that I bought up do you ever want to be work in L & D, she said she has thought of it, but its too stressful, then I asked her do you want to become a midwife. She said no to because its too much responibilty and malpractice insurance, which I get, but its too much responibility. Then I bought do you want become a LC or CBE or both in the future. She said maybe, but she rather open up a yoga studio. Personally, I rather she stays in her current field, I don't know to how explain why part of it. Did ask her how she feels about natural childbirth without drugs or interventions or etc. Have sent her the postcard to Sarah J Buckley, MD/GP Family Practioner's Book Gentle Birth, Gentle Parenting as well, but she wasn't interested in it and also gived her my old issues of magazines that I use to subscribe to, but she gave them to the one of her co-workers, which I'm friendly with as well. She said I don't like reading work when I'm at home or relaxing or anywhere else, well she likes to read books. Of course that frustates me.

Think thats it.
 

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Ferber...ughhhhh. I recently got a book for Catholic mothers about raising babies....she wrote that the Ferber method was a wonderful "training method for infants". I was like yelling "WHAT!!! ARE YOU KIDDING???????" I threw the book across my bedroom I was so mad. My husband was like
:.

So everyday I star an email to send her....but I start and can't finish because I just go sick
:
. I have four more children than she does,no one ever had to tell me to hold my babies when they cried and that it doesn't spoil a baby who only wants security. It's the NATURAL instinct to hold a baby when it cries to love it and confort it. Tiny babies need it the most. I know that having seven children doesn't make me an expert. But I guess I know now that even a monkey can write a book.

I knew if I talked about that woman I was going to be
: . UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by momo7
Ferber...ughhhhh. I recently got a book for Catholic mothers about raising babies....she wrote that the Ferber method was a wonderful "training method for infants". I was like yelling "WHAT!!! ARE YOU KIDDING???????" I threw the book across my bedroom I was so mad. My husband was like
:.

So everyday I star an email to send her....but I start and can't finish because I just go sick
:
. I have four more children than she does,no one ever had to tell me to hold my babies when they cried and that it doesn't spoil a baby who only wants security. It's the NATURAL instinct to hold a baby when it cries to love it and confort it. Tiny babies need it the most. I know that having seven children doesn't make me an expert. But I guess I know now that even a monkey can write a book.

I knew if I talked about that woman I was going to be
: . UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE.
Jen,

 

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so sad.....yes i do not know. I guess by writing letters to them/emails- that you would appreciate more hb or "natural" hospital birth and more bf moms.....

oh and tell everyone you know those shows suck.
 

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oh- my good friend had her first baby- at home- hjer older sister was there and thay night- the night the baby was born- he was crying- and the sister told her to just let him CIO..... not even 8 hours after the birth- she wanted her to put it in the crib and let him cio.

luckily- that did not feel right to my friend and she asked me for advice- I was so upset- I said "GOD would not do that to you!" I was so flustered!!! Shocked ya know!

but i got the right info out and got her dr sears in her hands. he does not cio. he gets tended to at night- he is in a sling- ebf and loved on very much!!!!!!!! wooohooooo!!!!!!!
 
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