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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Of course it's an inane question but I just wanted to know your opinion on a specific scenario...<br><br>
We are a TV-free family for the most part (late night movie for me and DH every now and then), so as far as DS seeing inappropriate stuff, that's covered.<br><br>
This summer, DH was invited to be part of a team participating in softball tournaments. He only knows one or two people on the team and are more acquaintances rather than friends. For the most part the games are a family affair, I see kids running around and spouses watching the games. I've been to a couple of games and unfortunately it doesn't seem to be a very enjoyable affair for me as some women on DH's team have potty mouth. The other teams pretty much have GP language. If it were just me, it wouldn't really bother me so much but DS is 2, learning how to talk and mimics what he hears. A lot of F-bombs and other swear words are thrown around regularly and in good fun.<br><br>
Of course it's perfectly legal for them to do so but I just wonder, what do you do? Do you just stop going to games or do you just accept it as part of life and just educate your children on which words are ok to say and which words aren't? If so, how do you do this with a 2-year old?<br><br>
TIA!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>grumpybear</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11608230"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Of course it's perfectly legal for them to do so but I just wonder, what do you do? Do you just stop going to games or do you just accept it as part of life and just educate your children on which words are ok to say and which words aren't? If so, how do you do this with a 2-year old?<br><br>
TIA!</div>
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Well, you could laughingly remind them that "Little pitchers have big ears!" Don't be surprised, though, if they get offended. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
I tell my son that those words are not appropriate and offer him an alternative; "That is not a DS word; you may say, 'Pumpernickel pickle!' if you like." It seems to be working as we went through a <i>very</i> short phase and he understands there are some words that are just not appropriate. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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I don't mind my kids cussing, and I do it myself pretty often.<br><br>
If you don't want your kids to say certain words, tell them you don't want them to say certain words. You can't hide away from society to avoid "bad" words, and you can't expect everyone to share your concept of what words are "bad."
 

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You can't hide from it IMO. I think you do your best to explain that those are "grown up" words, or angry words, or not-nice words. As they get older, it will be easier to explain, probably.<br><br>
My DS heard ALOT of cussing as he grew up, and he repeated them some. We tried not to have a huge reaction to it and since the words don't mean anything to a 2yo, he quit saying them pretty quickly. Not at almost 10 he is starting to drop them here or there, but he tries to refrain in front of me.
 

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Yeah you really can't hide it. People cuss nearly everywhere. You might be in the store and someone may say a curse word.<br>
I would go if your DH really wants to go and if you think you all would have fun.<br>
Your best bet would be to explain to him early on what words you think are bad and not to say them.<br>
Also at 2 years old the words won't mean anything to him anyways.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I suppose you all are right. One can't really censor real life. And I certainly don't want my LO being a bubble boy either.<br><br>
It's just really interesting how one's perspective changes when one becomes a parent. Cussing really never used to bother me but now it does because of my LO's innocent little ears. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
But thank you for your input. It's really helpful having an outsider's point of view in the midst of my stewing and surprise at how these women could curse right in front of their own little ones.<br><br>
And you're right Jessy, I guess I never realized that some people don't consider "bad" words as bad. Thank you for sharing your POV.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>grumpybear</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11609750"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
It's just really interesting how one's perspective changes when one becomes a parent. Cussing really never used to bother me but now it does because of my LO's innocent little ears. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
But thank you for your input. It's really helpful having an outsider's point of view in the midst of my stewing and surprise at how these women could curse right in front of their own little ones.</div>
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i do tend to agree with you on this. I don't think it's in very good taste to casually cuss in front of LO's. Now and then if you get angry or stub your toe and it slips out but in every sentance it kind of bugs me. But everyone is different so to each his own<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent">
 

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We just tell DSD what is appropriate for her to say and not. She did slip and say something she had picked up a few times, but after talking to her about it... it only happened two times and that was it.
 

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Tell the ladies you are there with your 2 year old who mimics language and would they please not use the F word? See if that helps. If they don't, then I'd see if someone else can watch your child or if you can sit in a different section, etc.
 

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I don't personally care.<br><br>
DD is 19 months and has repeated a couple words. We've ignored it - and then started to say some other funny sounding word that she then tries to copy....<br><br>
It doesn't bother me. I would rather teach my child what's OK and what's not - than shelter her. I would rather expose her to things while I am there to guide and help her, than have it be a big shock when she's older and suddenly thrown into the world.
 

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Swearing/Cussing doesn't bother me in the least, but I do like to be careful with language. (PM for some tips on how to search for some brilliant older MDC discussions that taught me a lot). My DD learned early on the concept of "inappropriate words." This is how most day cares and schools handle it. They just point out that those words are inappropriate to school. This avoids any judgement about where the kid learend the word.
 

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I usually say something along the lines of, "Could you be careful with the language around the midgets? Knowing my kids they'll repeat it at the worst possible time."
 

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At least where we are, many adults are receptive if you approach it tactfully.<br><br>
As for us, I don't cuss a lot in everyday language, but when we're discussing political/social issues, which is pretty often, I do tend to be much looser on my language.<br><br>
DS has said a number of cuss words, but it's a phase and stopped pretty quickly.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>phathui5</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11613981"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I usually say something along the lines of, "Could you be careful with the language around the midgets? Knowing my kids they'll repeat it at the worst possible time."</div>
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Midgets. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="laugh">:
 

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For what it's worth, we have never altered our language around our children: I swear occasionally in moments of high drama (and usually, high mess), never at school, never at church and never in front of my mother or out in public. DS2 and DD don't swear, period, DS1 uses swearwords strictly within context.<br><br>
For us, it's not what we say, it's what we do they mimicked.
 

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The 'bad word' issue didn't really come up in our house till our eldest was 3. Personally I don't worry about it until we need too, that is until our kids start saying them. In our experience kids tend to model what they see/hear most, so if we don't say things they are most likely not to either. On occasion they would hear something someone said and try it out. Depending on the scenario we'd either ignore it (making a big deal out of it drew more attention to it for DD2) or just explain to them why specifically we didn't say that word (like dammit, because it could be offensive to some people).<br><br>
We do have this problem a lot because in our house we have a 'list' of 'bad words' that we just don't say. It so happens that not many other people share our feelings on which words are 'bad'. Our eldest has called many people out for saying the 'S' word and the 'C' word. It's rather funny to hear her tell people "You just said the 'S' (or) 'C' word!". People will debate with her; "I did not say that word!" and she'll respond "Yes, you said stupid/can't!". In our house bad words are: stupid, can't, hate and now dammit. They don't know the traditional bad words, though I admit to saying them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
We've also been on the receiving end of that. Many people we know think penis, anus, vagina and vulva are bad words. And while we try to be respectful when people point out to us that those words bother them we don't always give in like we did with dammit. In those instances I take the same approach as I do when my kids tell someone that 'can't' is a bad word. I tell them that everyone has different rules.<br><br>
Our youngest made up a song of all the bad words she knows and will sing it, loudly at times. We do allow for that, so they both do it on occasion. We chuckle about it, but it gives them the freedom to roll the words around on their tongues and get it out. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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If you can't censor, use the opportunities as teachable moments, as some of the pp's have suggested. Although I'm not there yet with my LO I've had to deal with similar situations with students I've taught.
 

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Yeah, I would just tell her those words aren't okay. The term I use actually is "ugly" They do sound ugly so I think a child can relate to that.<br><br>
Then I just leave it at that. My dd has heard things and we've never had a repeating problem b/c I always catch it with my little "we don't say ugly words like that"<br><br>
And it's okay if the offenders hear you... no big deal.
 

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My friend has a 4 year old and has a an approach I am planning on using when DS gets older. She tells her daugther that there are certain words that adults can say to one another and kids can say to one another, but that adults shouldn't say those words to kids and kids shouldn't say those words to adults.
 

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We don't censor anything really, and our family swears like it's a second language so I am not the best one to ask.<br><br>
When we see or hear something that we aren't familiar or all that comfy with we just talk to the kids about why we aren't and why some people might be, differences in lifestyles, etc. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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