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<p>My daughter has never been a great eater.  Well except when she breasted and she self weaned at around 16 months.  How can I get her to eat?  She will give in and eat sometimes, but other times I feel like she is starving herself.  She gets so grumpy and inconsolable sometimes because she is so hungry.  But I can't get her to eat!  I try to explain to her that if she eats she will feel better, but it just doesn't work.  Any ideas?</p>
 

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<p>There is really no reasoning with a toddler and the more you beg and try to talk them into something, the more their instinct is to resist. </p>
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<p>My daughter went through a phase of wanting to grab on the go and eat mostly carbs or fruit.  I realized that at some point, eating we were going to have to stop winging it and have meal and snack times. Whether she ate or not was up to her, but three times a day we sat down at the table for lunch, and three times a day we sat down at the table for snack.  As she was little, she never really ate much at one time, which is why we had so many snacks and meals.  Breakfast might be two bites of oatmeal or a scrambled egg, a snack might be four grapes and one bite of cheese.  We just had to get into the habit of meal TIMES and snack TIMES.  I think all the free feeding and grazing of toddlers can set you up for issues later and as it turns out, my daughter does much better with a predictable rhythm to her day.  This was actually a big step towards finally getting her to sleep and nap regularly as well, which was a HUGE bonus.</p>
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<p>I also think asking what they want leads to problems.  For one thing, even after they pick something I think they are still considering other options.  Take that out of the equation.  You know what your child will eat and you know how you'd like for her to eat so don't set something up where she wants gummies instead of real fruit or pudding instead of real yogurt.  You're the mom, you get to choose.  Now if my daughter requested something, I could work with that. I'm not going to give her strawberries when she's specifically asked for apples just to be contrary and controlling.</p>
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<p>Every book I've read on the subject has said two things - the parents decide when and what, the kid decides if and how much.  It's up to you to offer healthy options and regular intervals, it's up to your child to eat or not. </p>
 

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Thank you! This is great advice! I think I'm definitely letting her have to many choices. I just need to make her something and if she eats it great if not hopefully next time! She's the youngest of five and my other 4 were never such poor eaters! Thanks
 

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<p>I totally agree with <a data-huddler-embed="href" href="/community/u/8933/NiteNicole" style="display:inline-block;">@NiteNicole</a> - in fact there is a childhood dietitian named Ellyn Satter who talks about that very thing, it's called the Division of Responsibilty with meals/eating. Google her name and you will get her website with lots of good articles to read. You can do pre-selected healthy choices "apples or strawberries" for snacks; but meal times with a "take it or leave it" approach. Another thing to consider from a nutrition standpoint is how much milk she is drinking. We noticed at about 26 months my son was just not eating much at all. We decided to limit his milk to 1-2 sippys at breakfast and it was like magic, he definitely started eating more! </p>
 

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<a data-huddler-embed="href" href="/u/8933/NiteNicole">@NiteNicole</a>that was very good advice!!
 

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hi i did some research for you hope this might help http : // life.familyeducation.com/toddler/behavioral-problems/41736.html
Eliza Annis
 

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You might also consider involving her in the food preparation/cooking process. What about making smoothies together where she gets to throw in the blender some fruits, add coconut water, and then blend away? Serve the smoothies in a fun cup with a fun straw and this might be the push that she needs.


Also make sure you avoid offering her processed foods and sugary drinks as she will fill up on them and refuse the real foods.


I wrote some tips on picky eaters here: http://orgali.ca/2014/05/tip-1-dealing-picky-eaters-set-good-example/.
 

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My daughter has never been a great eater.  Well except when she breasted and she self weaned at around 16 months.  How can I get her to eat?  She will give in and eat sometimes, but other times I feel like she is starving herself.  She gets so grumpy and inconsolable sometimes because she is so hungry.  But I can't get her to eat!  I try to explain to her that if she eats she will feel better, but it just doesn't work.  Any ideas?
How long in between snacks and meals? Maybe she is getting over-hungry? When I am over hungry, nothing sounds good.

Our dd fell into a natural rythmn of breakfast at 7, snack at 9:30 am, lunch at 11:30, snack at 2-3:30, and dinner at 5:30. At home we don't serve her milk, but at daycare they did and then were wondering why she eats so little of her lunch! Once they stopped, that helped too.
 

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My son used to be the same way, and I figured out that he is a grazer. If I force him to sit down and eat, he just won't. So, I picked up some cute divided plates at Target and put a variety of foods on the throughout the day. He runs and around and plays and goes over to the plate multiple times and picks what he wants as he gets hungry. It stinks that he doesn't sit and eat meals with me and my husband, but it is better than having a hungry grumpy toddler! :smile:
 

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Follow the natural hunger of the child.

I go through periods where I don't eat a lot, as does (did) my daughter (now in her 20s).

I recall that she went through these phases as a youngster, one was as a toddler.

Offer good food at every meal; ask what the child likes & serve it. Then let it go; it's a phase.
 
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